Lookn4love Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I have been talking to this guy since oct 5th, we have fooled around a few times, he calls me almost everyday since we have met, we havent been out on a date or anything just going to his house watching tv, having drinks, or going to his moms house while he cooks, this past sunday went over to his mothers house watched football games and then went to his house and watched more tv, well i went home and he went to his mothers house to check on her for the rest of the night (she just had surgery and cant walk) well he called me once he got home to let me know he made it home safely. I am attracted to him and hes the kinda guy i can see myself with, but how do i know if he wants more from me than friends with benefits, i should ask him but its to early since we only know one another for a week. How do i know it will be more or is it more already and i just dont see the light?
uniqueone Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I have been talking to this guy since oct 5th, we have fooled around a few times, he calls me almost everyday since we have met, we havent been out on a date or anything just going to his house watching tv, having drinks, or going to his moms house while he cooks, this past sunday went over to his mothers house watched football games and then went to his house and watched more tv, well i went home and he went to his mothers house to check on her for the rest of the night (she just had surgery and cant walk) well he called me once he got home to let me know he made it home safely. I am attracted to him and hes the kinda guy i can see myself with, but how do i know if he wants more from me than friends with benefits, i should ask him but its to early since we only know one another for a week. How do i know it will be more or is it more already and i just dont see the light? Well if you have fooled around and you have no idea what he thinks about you, that means you don't even know him much at all and that's no relationship. There's no rule that says that a couple has to go out on "real" dates. That's not what defines a relationship. And having sex or not having sex doesn't define one either. What defines one is whether or not you really know each other, care for each other, express emotion for each other and want to bond with one another. I'm not seeing that here. Stop playing these guessing games. If it's a relationship that you want, then that involves knowing the person. And if you knew the person, you wouldn't have to ask these questions now, would you?
tanbark813 Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Your best bet is to just enjoy it for what it is for the time being and then bring it up in a couple weeks if he hasn't already done so.
oppath Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Agreed, it's been 10 days?!? Hardly enough time to define ANY sort of relationship. If you want to GO OUT, ask him out. Say "there is this new restaurant I've been wanting to check out. Want to go there on Wednesday and then check out a jazz band at the club across the street?" It sounds like you have seen him a LOT in a short amount of time. Maybe see him a little less, but try to get him to take you out. It sounds like you want him to DATE you. You may have to plan some dates yourself. I agree with Tanny, no TALK until a couple more weeks. But if you want to go out, go out!
uniqueone Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Here's what I'm getting out of the OP's post which is why my response wasn't the same as Tanbarks or Oppaths..... I think that because she has had a physical relationship already, she's become emotionally invested. Happens (at least to women) all the time. 10 days isn't a lot overall, but if you''re sleeping with a guy....it is. (at least for a lot of women). Had this been a platonic relationship for 10 days, it would have been a different story. Sex changed things.
tanbark813 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Here's what I'm getting out of the OP's post which is why my response wasn't the same as Tanbarks or Oppaths..... I think that because she has had a physical relationship already, she's become emotionally invested. Happens (at least to women) all the time. 10 days isn't a lot overall, but if you''re sleeping with a guy....it is. (at least for a lot of women). Had this been a platonic relationship for 10 days, it would have been a different story. Sex changed things. Sure, but assuming she's in a relationship with the guy is a bad idea.
uniqueone Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Sure, but assuming she's in a relationship with the guy is a bad idea. Huh? I don't get this.
tanbark813 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Huh? I don't get this. Her original question was: How do i know it will be more or is it more already and i just dont see the light? The way I read your posts it sounds like you're saying she shouldn't have to ask. And if she shouldn't have to ask then, unless he brings it up himself, she has no choice but to assume it's one way or the other.
Lizzie60 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I have been talking to this guy since oct 5th, we have fooled around a few times, he calls me almost everyday since we have met, we havent been out on a date or anything just going to his house watching tv, having drinks, or going to his moms house while he cooks, this past sunday went over to his mothers house watched football games and then went to his house and watched more tv, well i went home and he went to his mothers house to check on her for the rest of the night (she just had surgery and cant walk) well he called me once he got home to let me know he made it home safely. I am attracted to him and hes the kinda guy i can see myself with, but how do i know if he wants more from me than friends with benefits, i should ask him but its to early since we only know one another for a week. How do i know it will be more or is it more already and i just dont see the light? It's been only ONE week... wow... It's a little bit too early to jump to conclusions. Just go with the flow... and see what happens... If, after a while, you feel that you need to know, just ask him... simple. It's a bit too early to talk about FWB in your case, you haven't had sex yet I suppose... and that's what FWB is about. Just take it one day at a time... maybe he will fall for you...who knows!
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