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I let it out.. grrr.


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Posted

Enough was enough.. I was so damn sick of all the memories hitting me at work today. As soon as I thought I had a minute of calm, wham, another sodding memory, comes ploughing through. I was so sick of not being in control oy MY own mind, that I decided to have a real good talk if not fight with myself.

 

So I opend up Notepad and just let it all out. All the facts, all the home truths, all the delusions, everything little damn thing about her. It was heated, it wasnt pretty. wasnt easy. But damn I felt better about it. I was on and on off it for most of the afternoon, and still havent finished!

 

I am far from denying there were many good points about her and the relationship, otherwise I would not have fallen for her. But I am sick to my back teeth of ONLY seeing the good points, and not the truth of how in fact it really was, and why it wasnt meant to be. I stripped off those rainbow tinted glasses and glared at her pedestaled statue.

 

I dont know why I have not this earlier. Maybe this was the perfect time, just about the right time to start to see through the fog a little.

 

I am not saying at all this means I am now over her, I am not gonna fall into that trap. But I need to get a grip and face facts.

Posted

Good plan. Sometimes I start writing my feelings out and then keep writing how I want to be feeling as though I am feeling it. After a while I start to feel happier.

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