Northern Girl Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I feel that the man I fell in love with stopped showing me he loves me. My question to you is ... am I wrong to feel this way? I have had several terrible relationships, and one bad marriage. When it came time to start dating again, I was very, very picky. I wanted someone to treat me with respect and show me love and kindness, among other things. I started dating a man who was so very perfect. He sent me flowers, gave me nice cards with all the right words, talked about how much I meant to him, and showed his feelings in many ways. He was like no one I had ever met... all my friends thought he was the one for me, just the kind of person I needed after all I had been through. I was the happiest I had ever been, walking on air. Now, a year and a half later.... there seems to be nothing! Not one small token of affection. I still do things to show my love to him, and when I stop... he questions me as to why. I will tell him that it's hard to continue when nothing is returned. He says he does not have time. He once told me that his just "being there" should be enough?? Am I being to "needy"? To "high maintenance"? What can I do and what should I say? I am not happy anymore. I do not feel loved.
uniqueone Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I feel that the man I fell in love with stopped showing me he loves me. My question to you is ... am I wrong to feel this way? You're never wrong to feel the way that you do. I wanted someone to treat me with respect and show me love and kindness, among other things. I started dating a man who was so very perfect. He sent me flowers, gave me nice cards with all the right words, talked about how much I meant to him, and showed his feelings in many ways. He was like no one I had ever met... all my friends thought he was the one for me, just the kind of person I needed after all I had been through. I was the happiest I had ever been, walking on air. Now, a year and a half later.... there seems to be nothing! Not one small token of affection. Beware the perfect man. Some of them can put on a good show at first, but it's really only a show. I still do things to show my love to him, and when I stop... he questions me as to why. I will tell him that it's hard to continue when nothing is returned. He says he does not have time. He doesn't HAVE time or he doesn't MAKE time? Which is it? We all have time...it just depends on what we want to give priority to. It doesn't sound like he's making you a priority. He once told me that his just "being there" should be enough?? Then throw him this same line when he asks you why you stopped doing things to show you love him. Am I being to "needy"? To "high maintenance"? The fact that you're asking this question explains why you have been in such bad relationships in the past. You need to get a point where you don't need to ask this question---where you know the answer and don't have any doubts about it. What can I do and what should I say? I am not happy anymore. I do not feel loved. If you don't feel happy or loved, then how is it a relationship? That should answer your question on what you should do.
jcster Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Now, a year and a half later.... there seems to be nothing! Not one small token of affection. I still do things to show my love to him, and when I stop... he questions me as to why. I will tell him that it's hard to continue when nothing is returned. He says he does not have time. Relationships take energy and time! They have to be a priority, or they will die. If you feel this way now, imagine how you will feel in a few years. Now is the time to really talk to him and find out what the heck is going on. If you wait, this will fester and kill your relationship. BTW: I received flowers from my husband exactly 3 times in 10 years: on the evening of our engagement, after a hugely difficult time in our relationship when I chose not to leave him, the day I left him (weird). Too little, too late. Speak up now!
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