sanyy Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Hi there.. Please help me.. I had put a post on other thread as well but no one replied. Again posting this one with some hope that one out there wld help me in this break up and coping.. have been posting on this site on my problem and to tell u its gr8 help always. To just recap, I wasinvolved with this MM and I am too married. My husband n me we dont love each other. No sex at all frm past three years. But due to some family prbs we stay together. I fell in love with MM 2 years back and we had EA for 9 months. He broke up then saying it was tough for him to handle as it was going emotional, no physical though. He went NC and he really maintained to highest degree. loved him crazily. I cldnt take the pain, I brike the NC many times and sent him texts, mails, offline IMs.. but he never replied. I wished him on his b'day over text, he replied only thank you. But just a week later my b'day was there n he dint wish me. This made me go crazy.. I was so upset, I was just asking GOD to give me some strength to deal with this break up... as its clear now, he has moved on. I too wanted to move on. I know I love him like anything , but just keep on thinking abt past moments and wishing him to come back was becoming to much to handle.. And just 5 days back I landed up doing this crap.. am having sex chat ( or just normal chat also) with this stranger with changing my identity.. we talk a lot.. sometime the whole night.. and slowly I am thinking abt this new guy more than my MM. I knw its selfish to play with this chat frnd like this.. but it is helping me in coming out of the break up wound. I still gt tears in my eyes when I thought os my MM. And then finally thought of asking u all abt this.. Am I taking a wrong method of healing.. Actually I have tried everything, taking some hobby to exercise to taking care of me physically and every possible things mentioned in many coping techniques.. but nothing helped.. I was never able to take my MM for even a while and then finally used to land up bugging him up with my text or mails.. But this new technique of chatting with stranger with some unknown identity of mine is working.. I am slowly started to think less of him.. Is this wrong.. Please help. But even this chatting with this new guy is not really helping that much.. I still love my MM a lot. Oh my God its so complicated.. Why do I still hope he would come back even after 1 year.. Its asd. But this new way of chatting with a new person also not working out. I feel helpless now..
Sanslatete Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I know it's VERY difficult to accept that someone you love has moved on without you, but it sounds like that's what's happened in your case. I imagine you're at your wits end and, not being able to let go is dragging you down further. There's no easy fix for this, acceptance is the first thing you have to achieve. If you're getting no reply from your MM, that probably means that he doesn't want to continue the relationship. Tough to cope with, I know, but it's a case of HAVING TO. You've been left powerless in this case and have to take steps to heal yourself. A lot of us on LS have been left in the same situation, through no fault of our own. Some people just up and leave and get you out of their system pretty quickly and all you can do is pick up the pieces and get on with it. I'm dealing with similar myself, I didn't want my relationship to come to an end, but the decision was taken out my hands. I have no contact with my ex, and it drives me ape****, but I have no option other than go through the process of getting over her. I appreciate that no one will come up to the standards of your MM, and talking to other men may not help you forget him just now. He's too much in the forefront of your mind. Try to be strong and begin to accept that there's some things in life you have no control over. The test of your strenght is how you come out the other end. It's not going to be easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but you can do it. We're here for you, we're all suffering in our own ways, you're not alone. Good luck.
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