niceguy27 Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 well. ran into my ex's roomate husband tnight and got the lowdown on things. apparantly my ex has brought home some guys (not sleeping with them) since we broke up. those of you that have been following my story know that ive taken the high road and been pretty understanding with her. according to him she has completely gone wild with going out and spending time with these guys. totally unbecoming of her. well the rest of her stuff that is at my houe i was going to have her mom come get. i then find this out. he tells me that i need to just move on and forget her and that i deserve so much better. as far as her stuff goes he thinks i need to just come over and leave it on the driveway. regardles of how ''busy'' she is. after hearing what she has been doing and despite the ''talk'' we had ending things amicably, would it be jerkish of me to just go there tomorrow morning and drop it all off? after hearing that all that goes through my head is ''why should i do ANYTHING for her'' when she hd no problem doing this to me? am i over reacting to this? those of you who have been following my situation please help me out here. this is the first tie i have heard it from someone who has seen what she is doing. im lost and this really hurts because i thought she had handled things differently.
Hero2Zero Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Hey Niceguy, I think that you should move on. 100%. She could be doing this because she's confused and is frantically trying to find something she's been looking for. Who knows if she will find it, but at this point, you shouldn't care. Just drop off her stuff, don't leave the letter, the time for that has passed. Just leave a quick note that this is the rest of her stuff. Leave that note on a very detached, to the point and good luck with what's ahead tone. That's all you can do. Move on, you don't need to know what else she does from this point on. If your paths cross again later, deal with that when you get there. Who knows, you might not want her back anyway. Move on and don't let this bother you, what she does from this point on is her business.
reboot Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 niceguy... you know what we've been telling you all along. why make us repeat it over and over and over. Put her sh.it on the street.
starlite Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Hey Niceguy! Well, I think you should put her stuff out in your yard, maybe under something in case it rains, send her a quick text telling her her stuff has overstayed its welcome and to please come get it in the next few days, or it will be taken to the dump! Or , you could always stop by where she is staying (When she is not around) and leave it there (if it is close enough). Just get it away from you. Also, when you see people that you know mutually, I would politely say "You know, I would really rather not hear about her or what she is up to, but thanks anyway." As you know, my bf and I broke up 9 days ago. I am getting sadder as time goes by...my brother is good friends with him and is currently seeing his sisters friend, so they have been spending time together. I finally told him the other day that for now, I dont want to hear about him, or her for that matter. It brings to much pain. It is one thing to bring your ex up on your own, but to me it is another to know what they are doing and what they have been up too.
Spinderella Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Niceguy, Thought you were moving on now and accepting its over and doing nc. Talking about her, or asking about her, or letting other people talk about her, will not help you. Give the stuff to her roommates husband, or put it ouside and leave a message, or drive it to hers and put it on her drive. It doesnt matter, just get rid of it, if its going to keep you stuck here.
Author niceguy27 Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 Yeah...So I had one too many drinks last night. I was pretty inebriated when I wrote that. I was just a little angry last night and was ranting a little. It was a completely random thing running into him. As far as I can remember he just told me that she's pretty much jumped off the deep end. She finally has nobody to keep her down so she's out cutting loose. Don't blame her, she had a controlling mother growing up. Anyway, he asked how I was and I told him WONDERFUL! Ha ha. Said I was seeing a very exotic looking girl and things were real good. To top that off, I ended up sitting with 3 women chattin it up with them right next to him. That was fun. Not what I normally do but it felt pretty good. But...Its all gone now. I did get it all out this morning and had her mother come get it. I didnt even bother to call or let her know as shes had plenty of time and Ive been WAY too accomodating to her.
CaliGuy Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Drop the stuff off. Don't call her, don't answer her texts or messages. RESPECT YOURSELF first and foremost (or nobody else will respect you...)
Author niceguy27 Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 thanks cali. we havent had any contact since that last talk with her. that was last week. since thn ive been in nc. ive been getting along a lot better since then and im really glad i didnt call or txt her last night (drunk). also, her mother came and got it today after i called her (mom, not the ex). all of it. i told her that since she hasnt contacted me at all i assume she doest care what happens to it. well that got her mom in gear to come get on her own. changing the way i think about things has been kind of difficult but i do feel A TON better about finally wresting control of my emotions back from others and giving it to myself. a month ago...i would of called her and asked question after question about what shes been doing and why. now... one step at a time but i feel im making progress.
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