Author marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 There is nothing wrong with that. That shows that he misses her and that he cares. Closing up your feelings and emotions will get you no where. And that is what has happened over the years. But no more. I may be a man but I have learned that emotions are a good thing and showing them is manly, especially to a woman.
Author marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 What about my suggestion of putting your feelings and true desire to change to make things better on paper? That is what I did a couple of weeks ago. And after that is when she turned 180. But I have to move past using pen and paper and learn to express it verbally.
amaysngrace Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 There is nothing wrong with that. That shows that he misses her and that he cares. Closing up your feelings and emotions will get you no where. I couldn't agree with you more. Closing up your feelings just leads to miscommunications on things that should be said but aren't.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 And that is what has happened over the years. But no more. I may be a man but I have learned that emotions are a good thing and showing them is manly, especially to a woman. A real man will be open with his feelings and emotions when need be.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 That is what I did a couple of weeks ago. And after that is when she turned 180. But I have to move past using pen and paper and learn to express it verbally. and you will, but expect some trial and error along the way.
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Tell her that you are disappointed in her in the calmest and nicest tone without raising your voice and walk away. Trust me guys this works.
Author marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 A real man will be open with his feelings and emotions when need be. That is what I am working hard to get to. If not for her but for the next one. I have to be realistic in that this may not work out. So using it as a learning experience.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Tell her that you are disappointed in her in the calmest and nicest tone without raising your voice and walk away. Trust me guys this works. Walking away will not solve anything.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 That is what I am working hard to get to. If not for her but for the next one. I have to be realistic in that this may not work out. So using it as a learning experience. See post #30.
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Walking away will not solve anything. Not for good but during an argument walk away for the night and put the headphones on. Keep calm during the whoile thing as well and laugh at her when she is screaming.
Author marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 Walking away will not solve anything. All walking away will do is tell her that I am not committed to this, to her.
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 All walking away will do is tell her that I am not committed to this, to her. The more commited you are the less she is. She needs to see that you can end the whole thing tommorow and still and then she will be willing to work on it.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Not for good but during an argument walk away for the night and put the headphones on. Keep calm during the whoile thing as well and laugh at her when she is screaming. During an argument is the worse time to walk away, except of course if you can't handle your anger, then yes walk away. I don't see how your ideas would work.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 The more commited you are the less she is. She needs to see that you can end the whole thing tommorow and still and then she will be willing to work on it. Don't try and make this guy bitter...........
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 All walking away will do is tell her that I am not committed to this, to her. Exactly. I posted it already, but if you have anger problems, then walk away during an argument if your anger gets the best of you. That is the only time that you should walk away from an argument.
Author marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 The more commited you are the less she is. She needs to see that you can end the whole thing tommorow and still and then she will be willing to work on it. Not sure that I see your logic in this. Alienating her will do just that. I have held my ground through all of this. I haven't let her beat me. I know that I can end things with a word. And she knows that. But that will only happen if there is no progress. And already there is progress, just in our nightly chats.
amaysngrace Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I don't see how Woggles ideas work either. Laugh at her if she's angry? How awful. I would do like you've been doing marsbars. Like you said if not for this time than for next time. It sounds like you're doing okay.
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Not sure that I see your logic in this. Alienating her will do just that. I have held my ground through all of this. I haven't let her beat me. I know that I can end things with a word. And she knows that. But that will only happen if there is no progress. And already there is progress, just in our nightly chats. You can't just end things with a word because it will crush you and she knows this. She has you by the balls and when you learn to take those balls back is when you will have the power back.
Author marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 Don't try and make this guy bitter........... Trust me I am bitter but that is a negative emotion and my I am working on limiting negativity in my life. I was bitter, very bitter but that will get me nowhere. I have already been hurt more than ever before. Any more pain will be inconsequential. Being bitter will only make any new relationships impossible if this doesn't work out.
Author marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 Don't mean to flame, but woogle you sound like a very bitter person who has been jilted before. Your idea of loving someone is vastly different from mine. Sacrifice is part of love, and giving some power is not necessarily a bad thing. Doing anything for the one you love is not being an ass.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Trust me I am bitter but that is a negative emotion and my I am working on limiting negativity in my life. I was bitter, very bitter but that will get me nowhere. I have already been hurt more than ever before. Any more pain will be inconsequential. Being bitter will only make any new relationships impossible if this doesn't work out. You are bettering your situation and that is good. Keep it up.
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Don't mean to flame, but woogle you sound like a very bitter person who has been jilted before. Your idea of loving someone is vastly different from mine. Sacrifice is part of love, and giving some power is not necessarily a bad thing. Doing anything for the one you love is not being an ass. I am just realistic about the type of woman you are dealing with. I give my love wholeheartedly to a woman that deserves but if she ever pulled the stuff your wife is pulling she would be out the door.
Author marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 Identifying the problem is the first step to solving it. At least that is how I see it.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Identifying the problem is the first step to solving it. At least that is how I see it. That is correct. You are cool. Stick around LS.
Pyro Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I am just realistic about the type of woman you are dealing with. I give my love wholeheartedly to a woman that deserves but if she ever pulled the stuff your wife is pulling she would be out the door. Every woman is different. Only the OP knows what type of woman he is dealing with. Its only your opinion.
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