PielDeMiel Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I think I might be a MM magnet, I know I can't really be one because frankly I choose to take them "in" even after I find out that they are in a relationship/marriage. I am currently in a "relationship" of sorts (he is in prison, and I am waiting) but I have these liasons with other men. But the last 2 I have been with have been married men 1 I full on knew he was married and the other I did not find out till after the fact. And to be completely honest, I have no desire for them to leave thier wives. I don't mind that they only see me when they come to town and that with one of they we only have fun (the other may have feelings for me which scares me) I know that is a terrible thing to just put out there. I love the man that I am with but I am only 24 years old and don't want to completely halt my life because he is gone for the moment. But I also don't want to be a magnet for married men. I know I will get a lot of "well just stop" or "how terrible are you" or "homewrecker" but frankly I don't feel bad, I can't stop and I am not wrecking a home, if he were happy he wouldn't be in my bed. It seems logical to me. Sorry if I offended anyone. I know it might just be sheer will power but I know there has to be more then one person out there in my situation. Thanks, PielDeMiel
woodsfield Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 WOW. PielDeMiel But I also don't want to be a magnet for married men. i guess you are here to get help to stop this or do you really want to?? do you wish that you could have one relationship only? it sounds like you are concerned about this.
DarlingDoll Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Well, I have just finished with a fourth MM relationship and honestly I am seeking revenge at this moment. I guess I didn't know I was emotionally attached until he kicked me to the curb. In my situation, he's with a woman in her twenties with 2 kids, he's rich and around my age in the thirties and I'm really not willing to give up this relationship even though I'm seeing someone else as well who is also a mm. What really appealed to me was the fact that the sexual desire on both parts are amazing and the sexual chemistry seems to be so much higher with a mm. Not only do they try to please more, but it's a turn on that they are choosing me over their wives.
AJS Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 DD, just because a MM sleeps with you it doesn't mean he's choosing YOU. It means he's choosing to cheat on his wife. If he wanted to choose you, he wouldn't have a W anymore.
DarlingDoll Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Doesn't mean they are really choosing the wife either.. moreso the kids over anyone and I understand that.
AJS Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Yeah, that's what I told my xmm too. I did love him, I just loved my H more. When it came down to it I picked the man I knew would stand by me no matter what. Your MM didn't choose you because of your own behavior.
amaysngrace Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 It sounds like you don't want anyone to get too close to you so you choose guys who can't. Someday when you like yourself enough to actually let someone into your world you will make better choices for yourself.
simplegirl Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I never thought I would be with a MM but then I met the one I am currently seeing (for the last 3+ years) and tons came out of the woodwork. I think it was more the timing but they were everywhere (my d was just final). Married, married but sep or just living with someone. At first it was flattering but when I woke up and realized they were all just jerks they all backed off. I am still seeing my MM though. I had one relationship with married but sep and that didn't work out. For now I am happy with my MM. I know looking back that I was looking for a void to be filled that I could not find with all of these men and I would let them chase me or humor them with attention. The thing is when I learned that I can be a fulfilled person on my own and I don't need attention from any man to make me happy is when I was able to actually stand up to all of these men. I was a huge flirt with them and that was all (except my MM) but they liked that just as much. Now I just raise my kids and live my life.
child_of_isis Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Two things that stood out in your post...the big one being..."I can't stop". This one needs to be addressed by a professional. The other being..."if he were happy, he wouldn't be in my bed"....it's not about happiness. It's about him not having the moral character and will to turn down an easy roll in the hay.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Doesn't mean they are really choosing the wife either.. moreso the kids over anyone and I understand that.LOL. Ok. These guys LOVE pulling out that "children" card to their OW. It's a built-in excuse to dip their wicks on the side and STILL keep what they hold dear - their wives and families. Except for a rare FEW who actually left (and I do mean FEW), how do you explain all the MM whose children are grown - or who don't have any - and they STILL don't leave? Yeah, that's quite the conundrum, indeed. ...but I know there has to be more then one person out there in my situation. Ooops, sorry, I have never waited for someone in prison and never will. And I've never had numerous MM coming around for a POA, either. I feel bad for you. You're only 24 and you're allowing yourself to be treated like no more than a blow up doll. I truly feel bad that you don't think you can command more respect than that. And trust me, we're ALL MM magnets - the world is full of MM on the make. I get hit on by them all the time. I'd rather chew glass than give any of them the time of day.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I am currently in a "relationship" of sorts (he is in prison, and I am waiting) but I have these liasons with other men. I know that is a terrible thing to just put out there. I love the man that I am with but I am only 24 years old and don't want to completely halt my life because he is gone for the moment. But I also don't want to be a magnet for married men. Hi Piel, First, I think you deserve more than some jailbird and a bunch of married guys! Your only 24 and your so just selling yourself short! There are decent single guys... who havnt been to jail. He could be just around the corner... please dont waste your life on bad men! Listen to me! I know! I'm from EW too! Take care!
Virgo1982 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 It sounds like you don't want anyone to get too close to you so you choose guys who can't. Someday when you like yourself enough to actually let someone into your world you will make better choices for yourself. I had to be smacked in the face to see I was like that and MM helped me figure it out. I had been hurt before and did not want to let anyone get close to me. I wanted to invest very little for a big return.
Havn_a_life Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 PielDeMiel, You need to stop dating and/or associating with every man you ahve mentioned. They are all no good for you. You should do better than that. And you're only in your 20's? What are you doing to your life?
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