Am I the other guy?

[Lost in Confusion]

Well this could turn into a long story so I'll try to keep it as short as possible....I met (X) in 94 through a mutual friend sorta turned out as just someone to hangout with while I was still figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. Unknown to me she has strong feelings for me and I sorta just played and did whatever I wanted too. I was 24yo by the way. Fresh out of college and no clue what I wanted to do with my life. Well couple years went by of this on again off again. I finally realized I had feelings for this girl and started to pursue them...Only to find out she had cast me away to be with someone else. I fought for her love and after a long struggle we ended up together dating and dated for roughly a year when I proposed. We planned the wedding she moved in and 6 months later a month before the wedding I got cold feet...This is in 1999 I called off the wedding and told her we needed some time before making this step. A day I could possibly regret the rest of my life. Well we split about a month afterwards and I then found out she started dating the mutual friend which was my "best friend" at the time while I was away working. This turned into a regular "hatfield and McCoy" deal as I now hated my best friend for taking the love of my life from me and then rubbing it in my face. That went on for about a year and she realized it wasn't him she wanted, but me well this was after she found out she was pregnant with his child. So after telling me this and me hitting the floor I told her I still loved her, but needed to let all this sink in. We still talked and hungout and I wasn't totally sure I would be able to deal with it and then she went into premature labor the child survived, but later passed away due to health issues and she was heartbroken. She went with me away where I was working to deal with things, but I wasn't the guy to help her through what she was going through so we eventually split again and she ended up back with him again. Now I'll jump ahead a few years and she ended up meeting another guy which was great to her, but she still was involved somewhat with Mr.********* so she broke it off with him after 3 months and stayed with Mr.********* and later he kicked her out in the winter with nowhere to go. So stepup to around November of 06 she starts calling me I've since moved 200 miles away to be closer to my family and work. Wants to know if we can be friends after all this time. I agreed and we started talking again I was helping her through a rough spot in her life. Keep in mind I never see her personally this is all over the phone. I then end up needing a date for a wedding in May of this year and ask her if she's interested as going and she's hesitant as she's still with this A$$. She agrees and comes down we hangout on Friday have a great time and it just couldn't have been better. We then decide to skip the wedding due to the fun we are having and go hangout again Saturday. She leaves asking if I ever thought about trying it again? I said yea I've thought about it several times, but only if its something your sure of as I don't and can't go through that again. So we decide to give it another try have the greatest summer ever. Hangout every weekend we are both happy and starting to talk about future plans with marriage and family...(I'm 37 she's 33) Then Labor Day weekend comes and I can't get home from work tell her I'll do my best, but not looking good...She says no problem know your work is important. We had just spent the weekend previous to this together and had a great time. Well I don't get home and then Wendsday she's going to have a medical procedure so I take off work and go there to be with her to support her. She then treats me and her mom and sister like crap tells us she doesn't want us there and that we need to leave. So I listened like anyone would and left and went back home. Come Friday I call her to make plans for the weekend not thinking anything as we talked the following day and everything seemed fine. She says she doesn't want to do anything this weekend and wants to be alone. Puzzled I said ok...Saturday comes and I call her asking if we can talk like something is bothering her she tells me she's not sure she can do the long distance relationship anymore...I hit the floor. I'm like what we need to talk about this. So she tells me we will and she'll call me later. Calls me that night tells me not to worry everything will be fine and we'll talk tomorrow. I decide Sunday to get up early and call her she tells me she's going out to cut grass call her in a couple hours. I hop in the shower drive north and show up. She's shocked why did I bother she could've told me what she had to tell me over the phone. Basically said she couldn't do it anymore and that she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to move or wasn't sure I wanted children and she had alot of time to think over Labor Day weekend about things and realized she was fooling herself. I am speachless and ask her to reconsider the normal things people do when they get dumped. So I gather my stuff but choose to leave the phone I bought her to use.

 

A week goes by and her sister is getting a surprise birthday party thrown for her. I promised I wouldn't show up to make the night uncomfortable well who does she show up there with but Mr.********* everyone in her family is shocked and appauled her sister and her get into it ect.

 

Bring you up to speed. Her family and close friends are not talking to her now, she can't see her 3yo neice, she is lying to everyone and claims she is not dating or is BF/GF with this guy, yet they spend all this time together while in the meantime she is telling me she needs some space to figure this all out.

 

What does this all sound like to you? I'm more concerned about whats transpired this year, but I had to give a little background so you'd sorta understand more than it was just 4 months or relationship.

 

Am I the other guy? Or did she cheat on me and the guilt basically made her breakup so she didn't have to face the music. I can't get a answer from her other than what she's said. I'm basically not talking to her at all now and am trying to figure out WTF happened and should I just cut the phone off and call it good riddens? I love her, but I'm starting to think I love someone that doesn't exist anymore....Thanks...Sorry so long.

[oyster]

take it from another guy. when too much drama, take your emotions off the table, walk away and don't turn back. IF you do, your life will be like a YO-YO