SouthernT Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Where do you draw the line with a new love interest when it comes to disrespect? The FIRST time he says he will call and doesn’t? The FIRST time he says he wants to see you the following weekend and doesn’t? So I guess my main question is this: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO JUST BE COOL AND GO WITH THE FLOW AND NOT PRESSURE A MAN, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME HAVING A BACKBONE AND DEMANDING RESPECT FROM HIM? How many of us simply "blow off" the first sign in hopes that things will get better? How many of you went through similiar situations and still ended up in a successful relationship?[/sIZE][/FONT]
tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Every girl I date gets one "Get Out Of Flaking Free" card. But, generally speaking, if someone flakes on you in the beginning, chances are it won't develop into anything long-term anyway.
jcster Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 I used to give them 3 strikes...it seemed fair....but quite frankly, if they got one strike, they inevitably ended up going for 3. Now, if you flake, you lose - immediately. Why waste more time proving what you already know?
Ocean-Blue Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 If he flakes the first time, it means you're not his priority. This can mean that he's sincerely busy...BUT I think that if a man really wants to get with you, he'll do whatever he has to do (move dates around, etc) to call you/be with you. Men are usually good at going after what they want. And if they're slow...well it USUALLY means he's not that into you. It's one thing if the guy has been dating you for a while and does this...but to be a flop right from the get go...I dunno...
Author SouthernT Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 Every girl I date gets one "Get Out Of Flaking Free" card. But, generally speaking, if someone flakes on you in the beginning, chances are it won't develop into anything long-term anyway. And what if that person flaked because they were told that sex would not happen anytime soon and to them, sex is an important part of the puzzle?
tanbark813 Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 And what if that person flaked because they were told that sex would not happen anytime soon and to them, sex is an important part of the puzzle? Well unless it's a legitimate emergency the reason doesn't matter. Secondly, I think we're using "flake" differently. I considering flaking to just be not calling or showing up when they said they would. In the context of your question that's more like just losing interest than being flakey.
bluepoppy Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]WHILE AT THE SAME TIME HAVING A BACKBONE AND DEMANDING RESPECT FROM HIM? [/sIZE][/FONT] Treat me badly once, shame on you treat me badly twice, shame on me. It does all depend on where you are - if it's at the beginning of the relationship, well it's likely that's the way he is - although men do test as well to see what they can get away with, or see if you have any of the "mad cow" tendancies that any one of his ex's had. If you've been dating a while, then it's different. He's either getting comfortable, getting lazy, or just testing to see what happens if he pushes you. Although I'd never demand respect. A guy knows if he's been disrepectful (usually), he doesn't need to be told. There are ways of letting someone know something isn't on, without being demanding about it.
Author SouthernT Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 My best friend from college, her guy would flaked on her in the begining. But she still ended up marrying her college sweetheart. My point being, would if she would have said (and listened to everyone else)"Oh--he's just not that into me". In other words, MEN are not perfect and neither are women. One of the two people invovled are going to do something unpleasing to the other person in the begining stages. I think it all depends on what is important to YOU PERSONALLY. Me for example, I dont expect a guy to call me everyday, because I am the type of girl who values my personal/alone time. BUT, to another girl, if a guy does not call her everyday, she may not find that acceptable at all. Individual preferences.
amber1 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Well I used to be much more lenient, and then just ended up getting hurt. So kind of like tanbark said, they get one time free. Now, I just started talking to a new guy. We have been talking for about 2 1/2 weeks. He would call me when he said he would...until last night. He told me on the phone last night that he would call me later in the night but then didn't. So now I feel like he is beginning to disrespect me. He hasn't called at all today either. I don't know why I keep meeting such flaky guys.
Lizzie60 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Where do you draw the line with a new love interest when it comes to disrespect? The FIRST time he says he will call and doesn’t? The FIRST time he says he wants to see you the following weekend and doesn’t? So I guess my main question is this: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO JUST BE COOL AND GO WITH THE FLOW AND NOT PRESSURE A MAN, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME HAVING A BACKBONE AND DEMANDING RESPECT FROM HIM? How many of us simply "blow off" the first sign in hopes that things will get better? How many of you went through similiar situations and still ended up in a successful relationship?[/sIZE][/FONT] I honestly think that when a man is SERIOUSLY interested... he will call and he will DO what he says he WILL DO... no matter what. It never really happened to me.. but I know I wouldn't give him a second chance. I have the opposite problem... I can't get rid of them..
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