niceguy27 Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Well since my last talk with the ex last Thursday I haven't talked to her at all. I did txt her once on Saturday to ask her about a tie I wear to weddings and needed help finding it. I found it but she never responded all weekend. So today is the first new week since our last talk and I can finally go into NC feeling pretty good about myself. Its a big step for me to take as there is a part of me that wants to still remind her I am here... But I know that I did give it my all and she knows where I stand, so why should I continue to wish her luck on midterms, tell her happy b-day, or anything else that is supporting or reminding of me??? Right? I feel a lot better about all this and even though I want to do those things I keep a I still have her on myspace and facebook as a friend. Should I delete her off of there?? We both don't use it all that much. She hasnt done anything with her myspace for about a week now (and still hasnt changed anything with us on there) and still has our photo album on facebook (she uses that a bit). Anyway just wanted to share this with everyone.
CaliGuy Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Delete her from Myspace, Facebook, etc. Delete her from your IM programs. Change her name in your phone to "DO NOT ANSWER." Box up and reminders of her and store in a place you can't get to easily. Write down a list of all her bad qualities and pin it up somewhere you can read whenever you think of her. These things will definitely help you move on.
funkybassplayer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 i have a different veiw to c guy (sorry) leave it as it is, and just let it unfold. You can deleat the lot, but she will be in your head, can you deleat her there? best go with what is-but then maybe what is for you is deleating the lot! eighter way, be strong friend.
Author niceguy27 Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 I did take someones advice about the phone number...I added a "z" in front of her name so its at the bottom of my address book.
CaliGuy Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 I did take someones advice about the phone number...I added a "z" in front of her name so its at the bottom of my address book. That doesn't remind you to not answer the call though. And replacing her name with DO NOT ANSWER also removes her NAME from your phone.
MattyTee Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 I think all of things are personal steps Niceguy. I found that it made my life easier to box up the stuff, like letters and photos, that was a bit too painful to keep around. I have taken her off my phone (not that she'd call anyway - International calls to a mobile aren't cheap ). Go with what you can handle. If you want to keep a photo up - why the hell not. If you want to keep her on Facebook, well why not. You have to judge whether those things will be making it TOO hard to move on. I personally disagree with the list of bad things about her too ... but that's my opinion
Author niceguy27 Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 Thanks for the replies guys. Up to this point we have had LC so it will be tough to at first to go 100% NC. I could never write a list of bad things about her. If I did, it would be over little petty things like not cleaning the coffee table when shes done using it. Ha ha. I dont have bad enough memories of her to justify listing them as bad things. I am going to look at by taking one day at a time. Since we split I think I have only gone a week with NC and then I txt or something stupid and caved. I know this time I have to stick with it to move on. Just looking for a little support here. God knows I need it to stick with my plan.
MattyTee Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Good luck man! I'm on day 16 or something of NC. I've had a horrible day today - spent most of it crying but at least not every day is like that now. Be strong
funkybassplayer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 whatever you do, however you deal with it, the pain will be there, but you will move on, i can vouch for that one. Just be true to you and your feelings, and dont get mean to the ex, and dont get bitter. This will delay your healing and you will have baggage. Take time for yourself, and feel yourself inside, and you will become a stronger wiser happier person. worry about you, and not your x, leave them to deal in their own way, but also be nice, respectful and honerable to her. The break-up is also a part of your relationship, and how you deal with it.
Crestfallen_KH Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 I don't know your situation, but definitely stick with the NC! It is hard at first, but right now I don't even WANT to see the ex or talk to the ex. When you get to this point, it's very freeing. Of course, when you still have to get divorced then you have to see him/her eventually, but hopefully that isn't your situation. I have left my STBX in my phone, but I changed his name to "Cheater." If he calls, I'll see "Cheater calling..." and that will remind me not to pick it up. I can't delete it just yet since we have a few more things to finalize, but it will remind me of what he is if he does call.
sedgwick Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Funky, how long has it been since your breakup? Do you feel that you are genuinely over her now?
funkybassplayer Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Its been 6 months now, and i have been dating for 2 months. I feel that you are never over an ex, but yu move forward to a new place in your life. I would love to be friends with her and the kids, and maybe 1 day we will, but i can go out on a date, and it could be crap, and i would laugh rather than think of the ex. I think im in a good place now, and latley been meeting really lovely people. I feel i have learnt so much about my self, kids, and women who have many issues, and taking this forward is leading me to the people that i want in my life. Do i want the ex back as a girlfreind-NO do i miss them - yes do i want them as friends-yes. am i happy-very do i feel bitter-no way can i wish her well and say good things from theheart-i have, am i in control of myself-yes. Where i am in terms of being over her is not a yes or no, but i just am at this place where i feel happy, and have grown, hold no bitterness or grudge, and am meeting lovely new people. I belive this has happened, cos i took time out and felt all i had to, hit amazing lows, went for life coaching. The result is me now, a more chilled out and self aware person, and im natrally attracting who i want in my life. This is cos i never did any rebounds, and opened my heart to grow as a person. I can see almost strait away the pain some people are in by just talking, and the anger they have as well. I am doing a councelling course, to help me and others which im meeting cool people, and 1 in particular. Afetr a brekup. its how you handle it and what you do that will make you the person from that point on. This could be having more baggage, or becoming more self aware. Being bitter and trying to earse her from your head will delay your healing, cos a few weeks down the line, it will hit you in a big way. Thats what i hink anyway, and this has worked for me.
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