Magnatolia Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Hey all, I'm keen to improve my social skills (especially with new people at work) and: Ladies, I'd love to know how you met your good male friends - what did you/he do that made you want to become good friends. What was it about him? Guys, what did you do to make any good female friends? I basically want to know what it was about the other person that made you want to be friends. I think details like this would be really useful not just to me but to every person who has trouble making friends. Thanks heaps
norajane Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I met them in college, at work, through some of my interests, and through friends. Typically, we got along right away and had something in common, whether it be an interest in going dancing, an interest in trying new restaurants, hiking, writing, whatever. Planning things is always good - like being the one to suggest starting a happy hour group on Thursdays after work, or starting up a dinner club where each week or month, you get a group of people together to try a different restaurant. People invite their friends and soon you have a revolving circle of people to hang out with. Friendships take an effort on both sides, so if you make an effort and they do as well, they're probably worth keeping around. If it's one-sided, it doesn't work.
quankanne Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I also met my best guy friends in college, working on the campus newspaper. The great thing about them was that while we had stuff in common, they background differed to a point that I was able to learn from them. Plus, they were genuinely good guys, the kind who'd give you their last dollar because you needed it … I guess the initial spark of friendship with each was that both were very genuinely open and friendly when I didn't know a soul in that newsroom. Twenty-something years later, they're still the ones I go visit first when I hang out with friends!
Trialbyfire Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I met my closest males friends from both high school and university. We were in the same social circles, with like interests and backgrounds. Having friends of the opposite gender is worthwhile, in that they have a different view than female friends. We've angsted on each others' shoulders, many a time.
tanbark813 Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I only have one female friend I would consider close. She was my best friend's gf all through high school. She and I ended up going to the same college and were both involved in the Greek system and have stayed in touch since then.
Quinch Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 My best female friend used to run a popular website. I sent her a 'fan letter' not knowing that she only lived about 25 miles down the road. We started swapping emails then went for a movie and it went from there. The best thing was that we could talk about absolutely anything - boyfriend troubles, girlfriend troubles - stuff that we couldn't talk to other people about.
Saxis Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I met most of the female friends I have through my male friends. A couple are sisters of my friends, or people I just knew from school/college and work. A couple were even old love interests that never materialized, and never hurt our friendships. Didn't really DO anything to become friends, more or less just spent a bit of time together in groups of other friends.
Citizen Erased Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 The only people I have really stayed in touch with since High School are my male friends. Mainly because they have matured whilst the girls are still as boring and insipid as usual Other then that, work is the main thing. My last job we would go out for drinks, hang out etc and I got some great friends, male and female, from that job.
Trialbyfire Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 girls are still as boring and insipid as usual Ahem, young lady, not all girls are boring and insipid...
Citizen Erased Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Ahem, young lady, not all girls are boring and insipid... You're a woman TBF. Unfortunately most people my age still act like girls
Trialbyfire Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 You're a woman TBF. Unfortunately most people my age still act like girls Are you calling me old?
Citizen Erased Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Are you calling me old? I knew you would take it as that. I actually just meant the few girls I have been in contact with I went to school with... they just haven't changed much from the 15 year olds they once were
Trialbyfire Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I knew you would take it as that. I actually just meant the few girls I have been in contact with I went to school with... they just haven't changed much from the 15 year olds they once were I'm teasing you. Btw, I am old compared to you, so it's okay.
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