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Posted

Ive heard that in a relationship where a person has cheated ,been caught,and gone through the realization that you are lost to him /her now-is less likely to go through all this again than someone new might??Basically im saying,my ex husband is really a mess and has honestly "learned his lesson" I think.In the process ive started to date again recently ...are the odds in my exes favor??

Posted

In favor of what? Is he less likely to cheat on the next woman he's in a relationship with, because he has learned his lesson? No, I think that someone who cheats is of a particular mindset and the behavior is more likely to repeat in the future.

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Posted
In favor of what? Is he less likely to cheat on the next woman he's in a relationship with, because he has learned his lesson? No, I think that someone who cheats is of a particular mindset and the behavior is more likely to repeat in the future.
If I were to take him back versus start over w/someone new.
Posted

You were married. He cheated. He's a mess and wants to come back. You are wondering if he has learned his lesson and he won't repeat his actions...

 

The odds are not in your favor if you get back with this guy.

Posted
If I were to take him back versus start over w/someone new.

 

IMO, the chances would be exactly the same. If someone decides that they want to cheat, nothing will stop them.

Posted
If I were to take him back versus start over w/someone new.

 

If you take him back... do you think that he lost you? In his mind it would mean he didnt!

 

Besides... are you afraid of someone new?

 

A hot girl like you should be in high demand... !!!

 

Why go back to someone you know is bad newz?

Posted

Personally, i wouldnt take him back.. Had the same deal a few years ago, he changed his mind after a few weeks of leaving, begging me for forgiveness. I knew i cuold never trust him again and that it would never work.. Eventually he admitted he only wanted to come back because he had so much to lose (houses, money etc)>So glad i didnt take him back.

I truly believe once that trust is gone, you have nothing... Good luck!

Posted
If I were to take him back versus start over w/someone new.
I think that depends on the two of you. If you get back together, and both of you give 110% to making things better, and you practice complete and total honesty (more especially him), then I think your odds are at least as good as they would be with someone new that you know nothing about. Maybe even better. He would have to bend over backwards and kiss your butt to gain your trust back (or at least as much as is possible to gain back). Do you think he's willing to do that?

 

I've about decided you can't trust much of anyone, new or old. Seems like most everyone I know lies and cheats these days, and thinks nothing at all about it. The point being, anyone new you find is just as likely to be a liar and a cheater, at least you know the snake you already have.

 

*shrug*

Posted

I have been the cheater and the cheatee in my relationship. Honestly, I would never do it again. I totally believe my husband would never do it again. I think it is on a case by case basis. You cant put a blanket policy on everyone in regards to cheating.

 

I think you have to look at his reasons for cheating, your reasons for divorcing, your reasons for considering getting back with him, has he changed, have you changed, etc.

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