Sureshot Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Hi everyone, Ive been dating this girl for a few weeks now, I like her alot, and I think she likes me as well. We see each other atleast once a week, and talk alot on the internet. We have great conversations together and they sometimes get pretty deep, but I havnt really shared how much I care about her, but she makes comments that make it seem like she considers me more than just a casual date. She has indicated to me before that she doesnt have much dating experience, and that she has trust issues, but she feels safe with me, and tells me alot about herself. We havnt kissed yet, but I think about it all the time and Im wondering when I should and how? I noticed i get pretty shy and nervous now that im kind of getting serious about this girl, and I definately have a hard time making the first move. How do I know she is ready for me to kiss her, and is there any steps I should follow before I just akwardly go for it? One thing I should mention, the other day, we went out together on a athletic type date, I scraped my arm, and she grabbed it and kissed it and asked me if it was better, I was estatic, I didnt act it, I played it off cool, but I was so tingly inside,the way she did that, I was just awestruck (I know that this is probally the most minor thing to anybody else but im bad at this). I took this as a good sign that she might be ready, but I want to confirm first. The reason Im so nervous about this is because she is such a beautiful, amazing perfect woman, and I dont want to screw it up, lol so please will someone patiently explain what I should do? thank you so much in advance
wizer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 The next time you are in a conducive setting, and you are chatting with her, look her in the eyes and slowly move closer to her while gazing from her eyes to her lips. As long as her response is one of acceptance, and believe me you will know, continue to move closer until your lips are almost touching. Then let her close the gap. If she doesn't reach out to you for the kiss, playfully withdraw, smile, and continue your chat.
Darkzen Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 I prefer putting myself in a position for them to give me the right signal. Like with my ex, I helped her up from a seat, but didn't step back, she tilted the head a little and moved in a tad (that was my sign to go in for the kiss). Another time with a different girl, I went in for a goodnight hug and she kissed me. I'm not an aggressive guy when it comes to that kind of thing though. Most of my experiences have been the first or second date before a kiss (or make out session), a few weeks sounds a little strange to me. Chemistry is chemistry, I can't see it going more than a couple dates if the chemistry is there. Either way, good luck bud. I hope it works out.
BeautifulMusic Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 The last guy who kissed me, it went very naturally. At the end of the date, I hugged him goodbye. It ended up being a long hug- at the end of it his hands were on the small of my back, and he kept them there so that I didn't step back after the hug. And then he made extended eye contact with me, and we were obviously still very much in each other's personal space. And then he went in for the kiss. Everything just flowed kind of naturally. So just try to find a situation like that and take advantage of it the way he did. I don't have a lot of dating experience just like you said she doesn't, but I was really impressed with his confidence and how he just seized the moment. And it also definitely made a huge difference that during the date he had reached over and held my hand for awhile. I though he was very sweet, and it opened me up more to the kiss. Hope this helps! Let us know how it goes.
Timberlane Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Very nice, beautifulmusic. I like that kind of kiss the most, especially the first one. Mmmmmm. The hug-to-a-kiss, kiss.
lindya Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Go for the unexpected moment. The first date snog that made me weakest ever at the knees was when we were leaving the club. I'd turned to the bar to put my empty glass on it, and he suddenly spun me round, grabbed the back of my neck and started kissing the face off me. No initial lingering eye contact, no hesitancy, no time to think....just straight in for the kill. Mmmm mmm. That's the way to do it.
BeautifulMusic Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Go for the unexpected moment. The first date snog that made me weakest ever at the knees was when we were leaving the club. I'd turned to the bar to put my empty glass on it, and he suddenly spun me round, grabbed the back of my neck and started kissing the face off me. No initial lingering eye contact, no hesitancy, no time to think....just straight in for the kill. Mmmm mmm. That's the way to do it. Won't that give her whiplash? Seriously, while I'm sure there are contexts in which that kind of kiss works, I question whether it's the right approach for this guy. That's quite an aggressive approach, and he is trying not to come on too strong because of her limited dating experience and trust issues- so he probably should approach it more delicately, don't you think? Especially the first time. He doesn't want to make her feel pressured. There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance, anyway, and- for a first kiss- I think that oversteps it. I personally like first kisses to happen more naturally than that, but to each their own!
BeautifulMusic Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Very nice, beautifulmusic. I like that kind of kiss the most, especially the first one. Mmmmmm. The hug-to-a-kiss, kiss. Yeah... it's my favorite now, too!
lindya Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Won't that give her whiplash? Seriously, while I'm sure there are contexts in which that kind of kiss works, I question whether it's the right approach for this guy. That's quite an aggressive approach, and he is trying not to come on too strong because of her limited dating experience and trust issues- so he probably should approach it more delicately, don't you think? Especially the first time. He doesn't want to make her feel pressured. There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance, anyway, and- for a first kiss- I think that oversteps it. I personally like first kisses to happen more naturally than that, but to each their own! If you'd seen the man involved, and being on the receiving end of that kiss, I'm pretty sure you'd feel differently. But yes, I hear what you're saying. It takes a confident guy, an interested woman, a lot of heat and the right environment for a kiss like that to work.
Recommended Posts