sundaynightheartache Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 It's been a year since my long distance relationship with this guy started. We've been together for six months before that, and we've been breaking up six months after. My heart's been breaking for a year. His optimism about our relationship, his hopes, his love for me, had definitely gone downhill since he left. I don't know how we even made it to struggle for a year after. But six months ago, we've gone on and off. Every time he comes to visit, we get back together - weekends, summer vacation. But when he leaves, he tells me that he can't be in a long distance relationship anymore. He just can't handle it. The thing is, he wants me to be on hold.. but not wait for him. Just sort of be around until something else comes up. He says, "if you're not into anyone else, what's so hard about being on hold?" I, and everyone else I asked, thought it was such a selfish question. I'd wait for him, even if it takes 3 years, but not until something else comes up. He's been a priority, not a option! He says that he doesn't worry about himself [in our talk about waiting], but he worried about me. Is he kidding? I'd go through all the pain he'll drag me on to for 3 years if it's for something. Being on hold is definitely harder and more painful than having me to wait. At least he would seems more sure. Anyway, one night, after not hearing from each other for awhile, I told him that I give up. We had our different misconceptions about why we hadn't been hearing from each other. I thought he just didn't care anymore and he thought that I didn't care and that I was seeing someone else already. I told him that I hope that one day he'll realize how much he meant to me. And he replied with, "I hope that one day you'll realize that I didn't feel so different." We argued for a little bit, and then we calmed down. Things with me and him always end this way. We never officially say goodbye. It seems like we always leave each other with hope... and just assume the end without words. We always seem to expect the other to contact first. But none of us have yet. We haven't talked for 5 days after that. And I don't know what he's thinking. I feel so miserable. Can anyone tell me what they think of this situation?
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