Author uniqueone Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 So my personals pic of me about a year ago at work (before my store went Supercenter) where I'm standing in front of Infants with the 22 year old signing in the background is probably a bad idea? At least it shows I have a job! You're going to have to explain this because I'm not following what you mean.
Sean0775 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 You're going to have to explain this because I'm not following what you mean. Sorry, I tend to be vague when I'm tired (just got off work, 8pm-8am). Pic was taken with a digital camera in the back of a Wal-Mart Division 1 store (meaning no grocery, just general merchandise). It was a 22 year old store, and a lot of the original signing was still on the walls in all its out of style glory. I'm standing in front of the Infants department during Baby Days (a week where we promote sales in Infants). I got roped into serving people cake and punch which is not seen in the pic, but it's clear I'm at work from the "It's My Wal-Mart" badge hanger around my neck and the various signs.
jophil28 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Oh...Wil you? Yes I realy wil... Nitpicker .
jophil28 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 It'd be kinda difficult since there IS no Guiness Book of Records........... Realy, no foolin ?
Author uniqueone Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 Sorry, I tend to be vague when I'm tired (just got off work, 8pm-8am). Pic was taken with a digital camera in the back of a Wal-Mart Division 1 store (meaning no grocery, just general merchandise). It was a 22 year old store, and a lot of the original signing was still on the walls in all its out of style glory. I'm standing in front of the Infants department during Baby Days (a week where we promote sales in Infants). I got roped into serving people cake and punch which is not seen in the pic, but it's clear I'm at work from the "It's My Wal-Mart" badge hanger around my neck and the various signs. Ok, that makes more sense now. You asked if it's a bad idea. In my opinion, yes...but that's just my opinion. Some people would find nothing wrong with that.
izzylicious Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I think it's important to be honest and as much yourself in your personal ad as possible, whether you ramble on, make bad jokes or work at the Wal-Mart baby department. Someone will find it charming, get your sense of humor, or...well, I don't know what about the Wal-Mart job Others will not like those qualities, and hopefully they just move on without sending a message saying how much they don't like you. The personal ads are a great way to meet people, but there are no set rules or ettiquette for it. If someone doesn't write back, it's obvious that he or she just isn't interested, or is nervous or changed his/her mind. The nice thing is that there are plenty more fish in the sea to check out. I thought the baggage joke was funny by the way
Author uniqueone Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 I thought the baggage joke was funny by the way Oh that one wasn't even half as good as the ones on my profile...
Sean0775 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I think it's important to be honest and as much yourself in your personal ad as possible, whether you ramble on, make bad jokes or work at the Wal-Mart baby department. Actually I tend to avoid Infants like the plague. I'm the 3rd shift assistant manager, so if it is a bad night and I end up working freight I lean towards departments like Hardware, Sporting Goods, Chemicals, or anything else that isn't Infants or Cosmetics.
ItIs Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Does anyone ever even respond to a wink, really? Isn't a wink just what people do when they're too cowardly or lazy to write something? I've little experience, but I've always figured they were non-paying memebers who could not write a message back, and replied with my email address encoded to fool the filters.
Author uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Actually I tend to avoid Infants like the plague. I'm the 3rd shift assistant manager, so if it is a bad night and I end up working freight I lean towards departments like Hardware, Sporting Goods, Chemicals, or anything else that isn't Infants or Cosmetics. I hang out in the Bladder Control Products aisle myself....... WTF are we talking about here anyway?????
Sean0775 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I hang out in the Bladder Control Products aisle myself....... WTF are we talking about here anyway????? I'm not entirely sure, but I just realized I avoid the departments that would be great to pickup girls in...if there were actually customers on 3rd.
Lunar Sonata Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I've "talked" like this before in messages and I've had plenty of men tell me that they've liked that I was upfront, amongst other things. Not to be a jerk, but how is this working out for you? Do you date younger men more than you do older men? It could suggest you prefer holding all the "emotional life-experience advantage" cards as opposed to an older man who is likely to have more life experience and is on par or even exceeds your insight. I'm just speculating. Please don't be defensive but tell me if I really am wrong. I just want to help and I won't return obnoxious comments if I am wrong to you.
Author uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Not to be a jerk, but how is this working out for you? Pretty well. I get a lot of responses. Do you date younger men more than you do older men? It could suggest you prefer holding all the "emotional life-experience advantage" cards as opposed to an older man who is likely to have more life experience and is on par or even exceeds your insight. It's varied. I would say that most have been a few (1-2) years older or a few years younger. Occasionally there have been those several years older or several years younger. I don't really prefer several years younger, EXCEPT for the fact that they are youthful and active and sometimes that can be hard to find in those my age and older. Here's an example....I had a refrigerator repairman recently. He was just a few years older than me but he looked a LOTolder. I was on my treadmill and he asked me how far I went on it, etc..... He mentioned how he used to do stuff like that, used to be into running, football, etc...but now he can't because of his knees (he was overweight too). I told him how he could start walking and he made excuses for why he couldn't do that. THIS is what some of them get like at my age. I'm just speculating. Please don't be defensive but tell me if I really am wrong. I just want to help and I won't return obnoxious comments if I am wrong to you. Who's being defensive?
MR2Aaron Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Sorry, I tend to be vague when I'm tired (just got off work, 8pm-8am). Pic was taken with a digital camera in the back of a Wal-Mart Division 1 store (meaning no grocery, just general merchandise). It was a 22 year old store, and a lot of the original signing was still on the walls in all its out of style glory. I'm standing in front of the Infants department during Baby Days (a week where we promote sales in Infants). I got roped into serving people cake and punch which is not seen in the pic, but it's clear I'm at work from the "It's My Wal-Mart" badge hanger around my neck and the various signs. I've been doing the online thing for a few months now, so I'll toss my two cents in here... It's just my opinion, but I don't think I'd go around using photos of myself working at Wal-Mart in an online dating service for two reasons. First, there's a certain stigma associated with Wal-Mart that I don't think I'd want women associating with me when I'm trying to pick them up. By all means tell them about it, but it shouldn't the first thing they find out about you. Second, I think you will have a much greater degree of success if you use a photo of yourself doing something you really enjoy, like a sport your play, or from a recent vacation or something. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I find that getting past the woman's initial indifference is like 80% of the difficulty of the whole business. If I can get her to respond to me at all, my success rate with at least getting a first date is near 100%, and more than once I've had them ask me. The problem is that the response rate to initial attempts to contact women on dating sites is usually in the 10% neighborhood, so you want to do everything you can to make that initial first impression a good one.
Author uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 I've been doing the online thing for a few months now, so I'll toss my two cents in here... It's just my opinion, but I don't think I'd go around using photos of myself working at Wal-Mart in an online dating service for two reasons. First, there's a certain stigma associated with Wal-Mart that I don't think I'd want women associating with me when I'm trying to pick them up. By all means tell them about it, but it shouldn't the first thing they find out about you. Second, I think you will have a much greater degree of success if you use a photo of yourself doing something you really enjoy, like a sport your play, or from a recent vacation or something. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I find that getting past the woman's initial indifference is like 80% of the difficulty of the whole business. If I can get her to respond to me at all, my success rate with at least getting a first date is near 100%, and more than once I've had them ask me. The problem is that the response rate to initial attempts to contact women on dating sites is usually in the 10% neighborhood, so you want to do everything you can to make that initial first impression a good one. Oooooh....oooooh.......oooooh.......I have some photo tips for guys, if you want them! No pictures with sunglasses and hats. This isn't a James Bond movie. And no, it doesn't look cool either. It makes us think you're butt-ugly and are trying to hide it. No pictures with the last women that you dated. Can you say "tacky"? We don't care to know that much about your past yet and it doesn't make you look like you're a hottie who's in demand to us. No pictures of your motorcycle or sportscar. At my age, we're immediately thinking "midlife crisis". At a younger age, women are thinking "when is he going to grow up? or "he's trying to impress me too much" or "he probably wears gold chains too......." No pictures of your house taken from the outside. This isn't a real estate ad. No pictures of you standing there with your arms held out slightly away from your sides like you're posing for Mr. Olympus. This makes you look stiff and stupid. Learn what to do with your arms and hands to look natural in a picture. No pictures of you with 10 glasses of beer on the table in front of you. This spells "alcoholic". No pictures of you on a vacation where you're so tiny that we can't see you but we can clearly see the mountains or beach. The picture is supposed to be of YOU, not an advertisement for a travel agency. Alright, I'll stop for now....but only because it's lunchtime.........
Sean0775 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 I've been doing the online thing for a few months now, so I'll toss my two cents in here... It's just my opinion, but I don't think I'd go around using photos of myself working at Wal-Mart in an online dating service for two reasons. First, there's a certain stigma associated with Wal-Mart that I don't think I'd want women associating with me when I'm trying to pick them up. By all means tell them about it, but it shouldn't the first thing they find out about you. Second, I think you will have a much greater degree of success if you use a photo of yourself doing something you really enjoy, like a sport your play, or from a recent vacation or something. I had a feeling that a picture taken at work wouldn't be the best idea, but it's honestly the only recent picture I have of myself. I don't even TAKE pictures, let alone take them of myself (seriously, I know what I look like:p). I suppose I could always stage a picture, but staged pictures are usually pretty easy to spot. The pic I use is over a year old now, so I really should find a new one since I have lost about 20 lbs since then (didn't need to lose weight, but it isn't a bad thing).
Author uniqueone Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 I had a feeling that a picture taken at work wouldn't be the best idea, but it's honestly the only recent picture I have of myself. I don't even TAKE pictures, let alone take them of myself (seriously, I know what I look like:p). I suppose I could always stage a picture, but staged pictures are usually pretty easy to spot. The pic I use is over a year old now, so I really should find a new one since I have lost about 20 lbs since then (didn't need to lose weight, but it isn't a bad thing). You should always keep your pictures current. Whenever a guy tells me "it's the only recent picture I have of myself", it's a bit of a turn off to me. Know why? Because it lack ingenuity. It's apathetic. Do you really think the rest of us on the personals REALLY have tons of pictures of ourselves? Most of us don't We make an EFFORT to take some so that we have them for the personals. I don't sit back and say "I don' have any." Instead, I make it happen. And posed pictures aren't easy to spot if you're good at it. Learn how not to look like a stiff in front of the camera. Remember what they tell models to do......'make love to the camera......'
Sean0775 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 You should always keep your pictures current. Whenever a guy tells me "it's the only recent picture I have of myself", it's a bit of a turn off to me. Know why? Because it lack ingenuity. It's apathetic. Do you really think the rest of us on the personals REALLY have tons of pictures of ourselves? Most of us don't We make an EFFORT to take some so that we have them for the personals. I don't sit back and say "I don' have any." Instead, I make it happen. That'd be a perception thing. The way I look at it, some people are picture takers, some aren't. I'm not going to hold it against someone that only has one or two pictures up, especially since they could be like me and not even own a camera. I should replace it on principle and will if I get the chance, but aside from staging a bad forklift pic I really don't have any ideas.
Author uniqueone Posted October 20, 2007 Author Posted October 20, 2007 but aside from staging a bad forklift pic I really don't have any ideas. Sit on a couch and look natural....something simple like that will do. And don't say "cheese"....just think of somethng funny when the picture is taken.
Sean0775 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Semi-necro post, but I saw no reason to make a new thread when I knew this one was down a couple pages... I login to various personals sites every day to see if there's anyone I'd like to email and/or check to see if I have any messages. It seems like every time someone new is on that I might be interested in, I read their profile to discover she has kids. Kids are a major deal breaker for me. My last relationship's biggest issue was her and I disagreeing on how children should be raised, and eventually it had a hand in that relationship ending. Maybe I was overstepping my bounds, but people who don't discipline their children annoy me to no end. The last profile I read was one I found attractive in every sense of the word...until I read she had kids. The section said she had kids at home part-time...whatever that means, but I get the feeling it would end up being more wasted time even if she decided to reply to a message. Maybe I shouldn't let one bad experience with dating a single mother sour me on that entire part of the population, but it's so incredibly frustrating watching a child misbehave horribly and being unable to do anything since my power to yell at other peoples' kids doesn't extend beyond the doors of my store. And yes, I believe in yelling and spanking since it's what I got growing up and I turned out good. NOTE: Spanking does not mean abuse. People who hit their kids in the head shouldn't have them, bottom only and not too hard...more of an attention getter than an actual punishment. Just venting...
JCD Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Sean, talk to her about her kids and how she feels about disciplining them. Then make a choice based on her answer.
melodymatters Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Semi-necro post, but I saw no reason to make a new thread when I knew this one was down a couple pages... I login to various personals sites every day to see if there's anyone I'd like to email and/or check to see if I have any messages. It seems like every time someone new is on that I might be interested in, I read their profile to discover she has kids. Kids are a major deal breaker for me. My last relationship's biggest issue was her and I disagreeing on how children should be raised, and eventually it had a hand in that relationship ending. Maybe I was overstepping my bounds, but people who don't discipline their children annoy me to no end. The last profile I read was one I found attractive in every sense of the word...until I read she had kids. The section said she had kids at home part-time...whatever that means, but I get the feeling it would end up being more wasted time even if she decided to reply to a message. Maybe I shouldn't let one bad experience with dating a single mother sour me on that entire part of the population, but it's so incredibly frustrating watching a child misbehave horribly and being unable to do anything since my power to yell at other peoples' kids doesn't extend beyond the doors of my store. And yes, I believe in yelling and spanking since it's what I got growing up and I turned out good. NOTE: Spanking does not mean abuse. People who hit their kids in the head shouldn't have them, bottom only and not too hard...more of an attention getter than an actual punishment. Just venting... You are cutting out a HUGE portion of the population based on ONE bad experience ! That's plain silly ! She could have older kids that you barely see.She could have one extremely well behaved child who's father is deceased, with tons of granparents begging to watch them, so that you have LOTS of free time together ( that was my case). I agree, I would defintley be honest about my last bad experience and feel her out. Some situations might NOT be a good fit for you, but to assume that all situations that might include a child would suck, is fault logic. That would be like me saying I dated a retail manager once........
Sean0775 Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Well, I went ahead and sent her a message. She may not even reply, but if she does, we'll see what happens. I doubt she has older kids though, as she's 31. I'm honestly unsure on whether I even want children or not. Most of my encounters with young kids have me walking away needing a cigarette. If I'm lucky, she'll have a son that's old enough to appreciate video games. Expensive video games that Mom can't afford = won over little boy (I used to be a little boy, it really works). In my last relationship I had the opposite, that being an ill-behaved little girl...that = failure. That would be like me saying I dated a retail manager once........ I probably live up to most of those bad qualities, ie: work too much, talk about work too much, forget I'm not at work when I'm home, etc. The last girl I talked to said it wouldn't work because I'm in love with my job, but I claim it's her fault for not being able to hold up her end of the conversation, forcing me to talk about work a lot. Blah...
Author uniqueone Posted October 23, 2007 Author Posted October 23, 2007 Semi-necro post, but I saw no reason to make a new thread when I knew this one was down a couple pages... Well...it would have been nice if you had, because this one is no longer about my problems with the personals anymore, it's become yours. I login to various personals sites every day to see if there's anyone I'd like to email and/or check to see if I have any messages. It seems like every time someone new is on that I might be interested in, I read their profile to discover she has kids. Kids are a major deal breaker for me. I don't know your age but in my age range, kids are a given. It's not a matter of: "do you have kids?", it's: "how many and how old are they?" However, when I was younger, I was interested in those without kids. I sort of compromised out of necessity. Kids DO complicate things and relationships are already complicated. But I will say this....you're going to be ruling out more and more potential partners. The last profile I read was one I found attractive in every sense of the word...until I read she had kids. The section said she had kids at home part-time...whatever that means, It means shared custody where the father has the kids part of the time and she has them part of the time. Custody schedules vary. And yes, I believe in yelling and spanking since it's what I got growing up and I turned out good. NOTE: Spanking does not mean abuse. People who hit their kids in the head shouldn't have them, bottom only and not too hard...more of an attention getter than an actual punishment. This is a major factor to consider in your relationships with women with children. If they don't agree with you on this issue, I guarantee the relationship won't work. This is why I say that children complicate relationships. There are so many other factors you need to think of. I wouldn't rule out women with kids but I'd make sure you're on the same wavelength about them.
nittygritty Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 Well, I went ahead and sent her a message. She may not even reply, but if she does, we'll see what happens. I doubt she has older kids though, as she's 31. I'm honestly unsure on whether I even want children or not. Most of my encounters with young kids have me walking away needing a cigarette. If I'm lucky, she'll have a son that's old enough to appreciate video games. Expensive video games that Mom can't afford = won over little boy (I used to be a little boy, it really works). In my last relationship I had the opposite, that being an ill-behaved little girl...that = failure. I probably live up to most of those bad qualities, ie: work too much, talk about work too much, forget I'm not at work when I'm home, etc. The last girl I talked to said it wouldn't work because I'm in love with my job, but I claim it's her fault for not being able to hold up her end of the conversation, forcing me to talk about work a lot. Blah... If they are introducing you to their kids before a serious relationship has been established its a red flag. Don't agree to meet their kids early on and don't try to win the kids over by buying them stuff. Your just Mom's friend or casual acquaintance. I would be very leery of a parent that lets you meet their kids too soon.
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