bluegoo06 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 just wondering what some of your opinions are on this. and for some backround information, our relationship has been a little bit rocky, but mostly little things that were getting better. there was no problems enough to cause this. so like friday night my boyfriend went out with friends to the bars, as he has many of times, he kissed a girl , a friend of a friend, and started freaking out about, he claims he left right after it happened and told the girl he ****ed up. so he went to work all day, and he came home to me and told me what he did while balling his eyes out. this was the first opportunity i could have seen him. and he is not one to ever cry about anything. so the fact that he was so upfront about it and was crying his eyes out, shows me he is sorry. he spent the rest of the night crying about it and i went to break up with him. then 2 hours after we had that discussion he called me back over to cry some more about how sorry he was. so let me know what you think about this....is it worth giving another chance?
Smoke Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Everyone deserves a second chance. Considering that he seems to be very sorry about what happened I would give him the benefit of the doubt. If it happens again, leave him, the fact that he feels so bad about it says alot. He will probably never let it happen again. Stay with him. Good luck Smoke.
alwayshurt Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I agree with smoke. If he didn't regret what he did he wouldn't have told you. People make mistake nobody is perfect. Give him another chance. if it happens again you know what to do.
xxHopelessRomanticxx Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 crying that long over something that harmless hmmmm kinda suspicious dont you think mybe hes holding back on what else he did ?!?!?! but if you feel like hes a good person, trustworthy and worth the time you should definitely forgive him because NO relationship should be broken up that easily IF you really like the person y'know?
Author bluegoo06 Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 ok me thinking exactly what you did, found the girl and asked her. the girl has a unique name and goes to my small school. so i have met her before. she did not know that he was dating anyone or that it was my boyfriend. so i asked her for her side of the story. and it checks out. she had no erason to lie to me. so all he did was kiss her . freak out and leave .
Ariadne Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Hi, so let me know what you think about this....is it worth giving another chance? Of course. Just give him really good sex. Blow his mind. Ariadne
wizer Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 It was just a kiss. He told you about it, it's not something you found out about on your own. He was remorseful. VERY remorseful. Get over it.
Author bluegoo06 Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 get over it and give him another chance or break up with him. which did u mean
wizer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Sorry, I thought it was obvious from the first part of my post. You are over reacting. It's not even a matter of "giving him another chance". Just let it go, and continue on with him as if it never happened.
Citizen Erased Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Even if this is insignificant to others, she doesn't need to hear "get over it" Even if it is only a kiss, it is still wrong which he obviously knows judging by his reaction. Honey, if you feel that you can get past this then by all means give him another chance. It sounds like he is remorseful and at least he came straight out and told you. Good luck
wizer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 She needs to get over it because she is seriously considering breaking up with the guy due to what is admittedly "wrong", but is in fact, a minor transgression. We live in a world where men are forgiven even after having babies with other women, or beating up their wives, or sexually abusing their children. It was a freak'en kiss. Nothing more, and he was VERY sorry, and he was drunk at the time. He made a mistake. Let's have some tolerance here.
Citizen Erased Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 She needs to get over it because she is seriously considering breaking up with the guy due to what is admittedly "wrong", but is in fact, a minor transgression. We live in a world where men are forgiven even after having babies with other women, or beating up their wives, or sexually abusing their children. It was a freak'en kiss. Nothing more, and he was VERY sorry, and he was drunk at the time. He made a mistake. Let's have some tolerance here. That may be so, but from what I gathered, they are still in High School and really at that age, this is a bigger deal then in the adult world. This is not marriage, or a 10 year long relationship, they are teenagers and I think it is damn good she is worrying over a kiss then the boy already sleeping around at 17 or whatever.
wizer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 You may be right. High school is like a distant memory to me. But it still seems like a blown up response. Who knows. May be you're right and she should show him the door. A "zero tolerance" policy. Heck, they suspend kids from school for plastic knives...
Citizen Erased Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 You may be right. High school is like a distant memory to me. But it still seems like a blown up response. Who knows. May be you're right and she should show him the door. A "zero tolerance" policy. Heck, they suspend kids from school for plastic knives... Well HS was only 2 years for me so my memory isn't so fuzzy Actually I didn't say she should show him the door, read my other post. I just think her reasons if she did break up with him are valid though.
Sanslatete Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 In my experience, crying = guilty concience. If you think you can trust your judgement that he is truly remorseful, give him a chance. If you can't....bail.
Author bluegoo06 Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 this is college, and we are graduating soon to get careers.
RecordProducer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 What happened is not such a big deal as much as how it affects you. Yes, he deserves a second chance if he is telling the truth that it was only one kiss. If you would have found out anyway, then his confession has less value. Apparently, the tears tell something, but not if he has ulterior motives to stay with you. You know the answers so figre it out. Do you know him well enough to trust him? In any case, let him fry for a little bit, don't teach him that he can do this to you and get away with it easily. This might not be the last time he did it.
Pentula77 Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 You need to make it clear, that if he pulls any of this **** ever again you'll leave his sorry ass permanently.
Smoke Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 One thing that is important in any relationship is that you follow a mixture of your heart, your gut, your brain and your judgement. In order to do so you need to learn how to do it. Most of us learn through pain, suffering, trial and error, but there are some who are wise enough to learn from other people, though not many. I feel this is important because the OP really doesn't seem to know what to do. It seems to me that she isn't listening to herself but instead, she wants to know what the "right thing" to do should be. For example: If we all told her to break up with her boyfriend. She would. If we all say it's insignificant, she should stay with him. She would. What I'm getting at is that the OP needs to follow her heart. If she makes a mistake, she will learn something from it and she won't make the same mistake again. Some of you may think that my post is inconsiderate and I appologise if I hurt your feelings, however, there are things you need advice about and there are things you need advice about. The only advice you need in this situation is follow your heart. It might not make much sense to you now but one day you'll know what I mean. Smoke
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