brothermartin Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Im having a tough time right now guys. I cant stop thinking about my ex. We've been apart for about 3 months now, and I know I should just move on. But there's some part of me that cant let go. I find myself constantly checking my emails, my phone, hoping shes called or left me some message. I hate feeling desperate like this, but I dont know what else to do about it. I wont contact her, dont want her to know whats happening with me. I still love her, but I dont know how she feels about me now, and I cant make her change her mind about me (thanks for that Matty). I just want to stop feeling this! Im torn between wanting her back and wanting to NOT want her back. I just want this pain and despair to stop! Can anyone help me?
Highheels74 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 It would help to know why you guys broke up...if it's something she did, you have to be strong and know that you WILL fall in love again, with someone else....also, therapy helps alot in getting over someone...good luck....I'm going through a breakup right now with the love of my life, and I am just focusing on all the bad things about him, or not focusing on him at all....that's helping me.
Author brothermartin Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 She left me because I made promises to handle money better, but I never actually committed to a plan to do so. Im not that bad with money, I might forget to pay a bill or gather some overdraft fees on my check account sometimes, but thats the worse of it. Im not totaly sure why I never kept my promise, but Im working on figuring it out. So she left me because of the money problems, the broken promises, oh and because she compared my behavior to that of her father's. He had a problem with depression. It killed him. Ive told her there may be a few similarities, but thats not me.
Highheels74 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Not keeping promises is a MAJOR thing for women...but it does not seem to be a big deal for some guys...I know, because my man was the same way, he liked to promise all kinds of stuff just to sound like he's a caring generous guy, but he never follows through..that is a major red flag.... But that's not your question... Why not fix yourself and ask her to come back to you?...Is she worth going through some changes?...It's good for you so you won't end up in this kind of hurtful situation again with someone else.... If not to get her back, just the fact that concentrating on self-improvement is a good boost for your self-esteem and will help you get over her....
Author brothermartin Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 I do want to make improvements in myself, but not just for the sake of getting her back. She has issues of her own, issues that she would not allow me to bring to her attention. During our constant arguments, I tried to, she said that was my way of averting dealing with my own issues. What I was really trying to do was show her that Im not the one that made ALL the mistakes in our relationship. Ill take responsibility for what I did, but I wont take all the blame for the collaspe of us! She played a part (be it a smaller part) in that too. Whenever I messed up, she tried at first to help me make improvements. But it soon turned into shutting me out and guilt-trips! For two years!! All I could think about was not screwing up. And in trying to do that, all I did was screw up, because I allowed myself to see myself as just a screw-up based on HER reactions to my in-actions. Sounds crazy, I know. But thats what happened.
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