sedgwick Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Okay, so as I've posted here before, I've run off to Mexico to write a book and get over my ex. The former is going better than the latter. I'll return to the US on Nov 5, and he'll be back from a 3-month tour Oct 28. Since Aug 28 (breakup was July 16 and we talked twice after that, with the first conversation being really positive and really good and the second sucking bigtime; he was a jerk), I've had his email addresses and phone number blocked. I decided I'd just rather not know if he's trying to contact me or not. So the question is whether to unblock everything or make any kind of contact when I get home. I was chatting with my best friend about this last night, and expressed to him the worry that J (my ex) might have tried to contact me but given up because I had him blocked. I don't know what happens when you block calls or emails -- do they get a message, or does their email get bounced back? (I have AT&T for my cell and I have hotmail, if anyone knows the answer to this.) I mean, if it does give a message, and he knows he's blocked, he might just give up trying to contact me at all, thinking I don't want to hear from him. Which of course I do -- it's just that I don't want to talk to him if he's not open to the idea of reconciliation, which would just hurt more. My best friend said that if J wants me back, he needs to work his a$$ off for it. And I agree. The relationship was very much about me giving and giving and him always being exhausted from playing music and being on the road. My friend said that nothing short of a letter or showing up on my doorstep with flowers -- something that would take actual time out of his precious musician life -- should satisfy me. I just don't know what to do. Everything ended so abruptly and was left so up in the air. But I do have enough shreds of self-esteem left not to follow him around. I guess it's just that part of me wants to let him know that I had him blocked but am now unblocking him if he wishes to get in touch. Like sending an email that only says that. What do you think?
nittygritty Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I think that unblocking him might cause you to have an expectation that he will contact you now. It could prevent you from accepting that the relationship is truly over and moving on with your life. Don't send him an email or contact him in anyway. You have gone to a lot of trouble to try to get over him and you will find yourself forever coping with this loss if you don't force yourself out of victim mode.
Author sedgwick Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 Does anyone have any advice? This is really getting to me. If you have something to say I'd love to hear it! Thank you!
niceguy27 Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Well he wont know he was blocked. It would go to vmail. Since its a feature on your phone and not with your service thats what would happen. I blocked my ex's number for a while just so I wouldnt have to wonder all the time. It did wonders not worrying about it. If he wants to contact you he can leave you a vmail or email. You've come a long way dont turn back now. Let him come back if he wants to. Remember, we all work on different clocks here. A month may seem long for you but a couple days in his mind. Stay with it!
datingmum Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 descriptions, darling! Why did you break up? What were the issues? I love the fact that you write, I do as well, with some success. Also, I love that you would run to mexico. And that he is a gigging musician. You sound like very cool people. But before I can offer any advice, I'd need to know more. Regarding blocking/etc. I know nothing about what happens when you block someone, I tried to do it here in the UK but they can't!!! However, if you want him to know you're "back", then just drop a bright and breezy email and see what happens... "Hey! I just wanted you to know that I've been working on the book and I'm nearly done. I was planning a trip home to celebrate and thought that you would like to know..." See what he does.... you only live once my dear
Author sedgwick Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 niceguy, you mean i could have been getting his voicemails all along? which means he hasn't called? his email addresses are blocked too, so he couldn't email me. datingmum, here's the original thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t127619/ and yeah, i'm a writer...got a book deal for a memoir with norton in june.
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