Highheels74 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I love being with my man and we are the most affectionate couple (sometimes too affectionate in public) and we never fail to tell eachother "I LOVE YOU" throughout the day, send love letters (emails) throughout the day....We have a magnetic attraction. That part of the relationship is wonderful.... Well....I caught him lying to me yesterday, in fact there are other things about his character I don't like. He never follows through with his word, he thinks he's higher than other people and should be treated that way, he'll blow up if he can't have his way...(even in a restaurant when they don't give him the table he wants)...he's got a controlling, take-charge personality, he lacks empathy, he'll say mean things, and on a scale from 1-10, his integrity level is -0-. I found myself ignoring the bad parts because on the other hand, he's (1) very loving towards me, (2) affectionate, (3) very generous, and (4) fun to hang out with (5) compatible..... but that's about it.....I can't think of anything else.....Are those five things enough to keep a man around?... Can you go on ignoring character flaws in a partner? I really can't stand who he is as a person.
sedgwick Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I was in this very same situation once. He was sweet, funny, very smart. The sex was great. Etc. But we had major differences in terms of just about everything else. I won't even go into it, except to say that he was really cruel and irresponsible in many ways. Very much out for himself and only himself, and not afraid to verbally decimate anyone who got in his way. It got to the point where I was embarrassed to be around him in public. He ended up breaking up with me, and one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't break up with him first. I missed him at first but it wasn't long until I was really glad to be rid of him. He's the only one of my exes that I hope I never see or hear from in any way ever again, because I was so disgusted with who he was as a person. There's no future in this kind of thing. Dump him NOW!!!! Not that I have any strong opinions about it or anything...
wizer Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 There's an old saying..."A person who is not nice to the waiter is not a nice person". He's a contradiction of terms. He's really nice to you but short and lacks empathy with others. I think he is being manipulative towards you and that's going to burn out soon enough. The longer you stay with this guy the worse it's going to get and the more hurt you will be when it finally crashes and burns. I'll bet you haven't been going out more than a few weeks to a month, right?
Author Highheels74 Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 Thanks, it's nice to hear from someone who has survived a breakup with this king of person. It's encouraging.
Author Highheels74 Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 Wizer...we've been together for 2 years....and I can't stand those who get mad at others in public....I just turn my head and ignore it, but I can't stand people who do that.
Faith4u Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 My opininon is if you are thinking of a serious relationship, you will not stand these flaws because they are major and will make you too fight on the little things and the bigs things. Passion and attraction also fade away, you need to nourish them as years go by so if you you guys will be fighting there is no room for passion and all the love matters will stomp. That is why we need to be sure of the perosn before we get serious. If you just want to live the day and have fun, it is possible to blind your eyes and keep dating him for all the things that you enjoy and that he brings to you regardless his persona. take it easy! I love being with my man and we are the most affectionate couple (sometimes too affectionate in public) and we never fail to tell eachother "I LOVE YOU" throughout the day, send love letters (emails) throughout the day....We have a magnetic attraction. That part of the relationship is wonderful.... Well....I caught him lying to me yesterday, in fact there are other things about his character I don't like. He never follows through with his word, he thinks he's higher than other people and should be treated that way, he'll blow up if he can't have his way...(even in a restaurant when they don't give him the table he wants)...he's got a controlling, take-charge personality, he lacks empathy, he'll say mean things, and on a scale from 1-10, his integrity level is -0-. I found myself ignoring the bad parts because on the other hand, he's (1) very loving towards me, (2) affectionate, (3) very generous, and (4) fun to hang out with (5) compatible..... but that's about it.....I can't think of anything else.....Are those five things enough to keep a man around?... Can you go on ignoring character flaws in a partner? I really can't stand who he is as a person.
wizer Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Wizer...we've been together for 2 years. So much for my theory.
daphne Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 He's controlling, lacks empathy, is selfish and lacks integrity. Sounds like a possible narcissist. He may be loving now, because he's getting his needs met. This type of personality, however, turns really ugly when you are no longer fulfilling his needs or wants. If he treats others ugly that can't hurt or help him, he will eventually turn on you too. Unless you can be assured that he'll need you forever. This kind of guy is dangerous if you get too close. It's good that you are smart enough to see the signs. Now it's up to you as to whether you want to pursue something healthier. He could do some serious damage to you in the end if you stayed.
Author Highheels74 Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 Daphne, yes he is a narcissist and he's selfish. And he says he doesn't want to live without me and wants to be with me forever, but when he gets angry he turns really ugly and nasty and he can't help it, he will say something nasty to drive you away....only to regret it later....he is emotionally abusive...
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