uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 me & him were just talking a lil about this the other day when I was at his house and he seemed supportive, so I dunno freakin' know, all I know is that I'm a damn stress case yes I admit it. And what were you doing at his house when you were there the other day? Ok and I'm sorry but I really have to add this or it'll drive me crazy......he and I....he and I.....he and I...... Alright, I'm better now.......
Author chill chic Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 And what were you doing at his house when you were there the other day? Ok and I'm sorry but I really have to add this or it'll drive me crazy......he and I....he and I.....he and I...... Alright, I'm better now....... we talked the whole night sitting outside on his patio because it was a beautiful night, he gave me a kiss and then I went home at about 10:30 pm.
uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 we talked the whole night sitting outside on his patio because it was a beautiful night, he gave me a kiss and then I went home at about 10:30 pm. And how did he show he cared exactly?
Author chill chic Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 And how did he show he cared exactly? well I told him that I might be looking at other jobs, not knowing until today that I actually DO have to look at another job becuase my boss told me today that she no longer wants to do insurance. but he was giving me advice, helping me with what to say on interviews, and then later in the night he told me if I ever needed anything that he'd by my man and said the exact words of "I'm here for you honey" soo...that's why I'm confused at no response today when I really need him. maybe he wasn't expecting that this would happen so soon or what. but still...
uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 well I told him that I might be looking at other jobs, not knowing until today that I actually DO have to look at another job becuase my boss told me today that she no longer wants to do insurance. but he was giving me advice, helping me with what to say on interviews, and then later in the night he told me if I ever needed anything that he'd by my man and said the exact words of "I'm here for you honey" soo...that's why I'm confused at no response today when I really need him. maybe he wasn't expecting that this would happen so soon or what. but still... Or maybe he's all talk. It's a lot easier to say it than it is to DO it.
jophil28 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Or maybe he's all talk. It's a lot easier to say it than it is to DO it. Or maybe he is BUSY with the things of his OWN life. They come FIRST. Men do not sit around waiting to rescue women who can't take care of business. WE men are great in a crisis BUT don't expect any sympathy or assistance from us UNLESS you have tried to help yourself FIRST and come up empty.
uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Or maybe he is BUSY with the things of his OWN life. They come FIRST. Men do not sit around waiting to rescue women who can't take care of business. WE men are great in a crisis BUT don't expect any sympathy or assistance from us UNLESS you have tried to help yourself FIRST and come up empty. I don't think you speak for all men...not by a longshot. And who said she wants to be rescued? Did she ask him to find her a job? I'm betting Roxanne gets those warm fuzzies when you' two are together, huh?
oppath Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 CC, it is too soon to analyze why this guy didn't write back. He does have his own life and his own things going on. If he's already communicated to you today, then he likely doesn't feel the need to contact you. When I'm in relationships, I don't respond to every email right away, and my gf's haven't responded to all of mine. Should he respond supporting you? YES, when you see him or talk to him. It is not reasonable to expect him to write you back with encouragement right away. This is part of your over-analyzing that gets you into a rut with guys.
Author chill chic Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 I believe the reason, well I know the reason for the over-analyzing is because I have OCD. I don't tell many people that, and I definitely don't post it on threads, but I felt it had to be said because that is my only explanation of why I do this so much. It's a difficult disorder to understand unless you either study it or have it yourself, but my mind literally travels at the speed of light, I (over)think on a constant basis. I used to take medicine for it when I was really bad at other components of the disorder, but it's been better since I was younger and I've learned to deal with it, but it's something that I'll always have. well there is my confession, and like I said, probably the reason for all of this
Star Gazer Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I don't think your analysis has anything to do with your purported OCD, CC. You're simply really, really insecure and have no self-love. That's something you really need help with. Have you sought therapy of any kind?
uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I believe the reason, well I know the reason for the over-analyzing is because I have OCD. I don't tell many people that, and I definitely don't post it on threads, but I felt it had to be said because that is my only explanation of why I do this so much. It's a difficult disorder to understand unless you either study it or have it yourself, but my mind literally travels at the speed of light, I (over)think on a constant basis. I used to take medicine for it when I was really bad at other components of the disorder, but it's been better since I was younger and I've learned to deal with it, but it's something that I'll always have. well there is my confession, and like I said, probably the reason for all of this Why did you stop the medicine? Antidepressants control it pretty well and there's no reason you should stop taking it. What was your reason?
oppath Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I believe the reason, well I know the reason for the over-analyzing is because I have OCD. I don't tell many people that, and I definitely don't post it on threads, but I felt it had to be said because that is my only explanation of why I do this so much. It's a difficult disorder to understand unless you either study it or have it yourself, but my mind literally travels at the speed of light, I (over)think on a constant basis. I used to take medicine for it when I was really bad at other components of the disorder, but it's been better since I was younger and I've learned to deal with it, but it's something that I'll always have. well there is my confession, and like I said, probably the reason for all of this I understand, I have suffered from anxiety disorders. I engage in similar behavior at times to ease my anxiety. Yes, a guy who is good for you will be supportive of you. But you have to look at the BIG PICTURE. Step back from any one event and look at him as a whole. With baseball guy, you only looked at a small piece; you ignored him as a whole when everyone on this board could have told you DON'T GO THERE AGAIN. With this "nice guy," if he has a pattern of being available and supportive, he will be in this instance. Now, if he has a pattern of not being available and supportive, and this is another instance, then it is a big deal. Understand?
oppath Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 And I second SG's advice to get therapy. Honestly, I think everyone should. My self esteem is low and somewhat dependent on a girls interest right now too. It's not where I want to be. When I've been happiest and had the most success attracting the right kind of women into my life has been when I could have cared less about any attention from a girl.
Author chill chic Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Why did you stop the medicine? Antidepressants control it pretty well and there's no reason you should stop taking it. What was your reason? I stopped the medicine because I learned by myself that washing my hands 20 times a day wasn't getting me anywhere but dry, cracked, hands, and when I learned that things wouldn't hurt me if I didn't do my so called rituals, then I finally learned that those thoughts were silly & irrational. I also believe it was something that I grew out of, now though I still have the obsessive thoughts about certain things, but I don't act out on them, now YES I do act them out on here, that's what my anxiety makes me do to relieve it, to get validation from other people. It's really confusing, but I've been wanting to go back to the doctor, and now that I have insurance, it's not a bad idea, and I want help with an eating disorder I have too. I've always been a perfectionist and probably will always be one, but I need to learn to take things in stride & believe in myself, my words and actions. And yes SG I do need to have more love for myself and since it was so far down when I left my ex bf who was abusive it's been a stepping ladder for me to get that back. And I should've listened to my mom when I left him, to get help back then, but I didn't.
Author chill chic Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 I understand, I have suffered from anxiety disorders. I engage in similar behavior at times to ease my anxiety. Yes, a guy who is good for you will be supportive of you. But you have to look at the BIG PICTURE. Step back from any one event and look at him as a whole. With baseball guy, you only looked at a small piece; you ignored him as a whole when everyone on this board could have told you DON'T GO THERE AGAIN. With this "nice guy," if he has a pattern of being available and supportive, he will be in this instance. Now, if he has a pattern of not being available and supportive, and this is another instance, then it is a big deal. Understand? Thanks Oppath, for sharing that with me. You might understand what it feels like then. You're right about the nice guy, he actually just emailed me lol, so I DO tend to worry WAY too much about something I should just be patient with. He always comes around, and since all the guy mess that I've put myself through it has been hard to trust guys, but this one is a lil different in that I know he will most likely, more than the other guys I've known, will come around for me. I'm not jumping to conclusions to quickly, but so far so good with him. And yes I do understand what you mean
Author chill chic Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 oh the email was just about going to a haunted house tomorrow night, he's getting a group of people to go, I told him I'd probably bring a girl friend of mine, but she can't go, now I'm probably going by myself, not really knowing anyone but him, I've met a few of his friends before but I don't want him to think he has to hang around me all night ya know? so I'm kinda worried of how he'll be around his friends & me if these are new friends that he has. Every time I've been with his other friends though, he's treated me like his gf, so I'm just nervous!
ItIs Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Things like obsessive-compulsive disorder are usually biochemical at their root, and tend to be difficult to control by psychological means. If the medication helped, don't feel stigmatized by taking it. Not that medication is always the right way to treat such biochemical imbalances. I used to be suicidal on account of allergic reactions to foods, of all things. Once I cut out the allergic foods, so went the foul moods.
uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Things like obsessive-compulsive disorder are usually biochemical at their root, and tend to be difficult to control by psychological means. If the medication helped, don't feel stigmatized by taking it. Not that medication is always the right way to treat such biochemical imbalances. I used to be suicidal on account of allergic reactions to foods, of all things. Once I cut out the allergic foods, so went the foul moods. Wow...how in the world could food allergies cause that? And what type of foods?
uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I stopped the medicine because I learned by myself that washing my hands 20 times a day wasn't getting me anywhere but dry, cracked, hands, and when I learned that things wouldn't hurt me if I didn't do my so called rituals, then I finally learned that those thoughts were silly & irrational. I also believe it was something that I grew out of, now though I still have the obsessive thoughts about certain things, but I don't act out on them, now YES I do act them out on here, that's what my anxiety makes me do to relieve it, to get validation from other people. It's really confusing, but I've been wanting to go back to the doctor, and now that I have insurance, it's not a bad idea, and I want help with an eating disorder I have too. I've always been a perfectionist and probably will always be one, but I need to learn to take things in stride & believe in myself, my words and actions. I think you definately will be helped by both medication and counseling for your issues and I don't think they're something you can treat on your own.
jophil28 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I'm betting Roxanne gets those warm fuzzies when you' two are together, huh? Roxanne gets thiose warm fuzzies just by thinking about me . When we are together she gets something much better. What a lucky woman !
uniqueone Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Roxanne gets thiose warm fuzzies just by thinking about me . When we are together she gets something much better. Antibiotics???
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