Ruby Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I ended my year long relationship It had been a long time coming as we kept having the same problem time and time again ... I spoke to him about it so many times, I cried, shouted, remained calm, ignored it, I done everything I could but nothing changed So now I have ended it, for good So why am I not happy? I just got myself out of something that made me miserable so why am I not happy as Larry? Why do I miss a guy who didnt love me enough to listen and take me serious and make the change? It was not a hard change to make!
Spinderella Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 It sounds as though you could be mourning the fantasy of what could be, if only he was different. You made the right move by ending it, you cannot force the other person to change. Also you might be mourning having a relationship. Sometimes even a bad relationship can seem preferable to being alone. At least you are now free to find the type of man and relationship you really want. I dont know what it is he wouldnt do. Perhaps you could have compromised on this? Are you possibly feeling sad because of this?
Author Ruby Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 I am not sad that I didnt do more, I know that was not possible as these were his problems, not mine. I do miss him, he is a lovely man who had alot of the qualities I look for in a man. He is very immature and our communication is at zero as he wont talk about things unless it suits him. He wont bring me into his sons life after a year even though he is a big part of MY sons life. This is becauise of his ex but he wont admit it We have a fall out every 2 weeks and I cant stay on this roller coaster - But why do I feel upset? I should be relieved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spinderella Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I should think you feel upset because of this: "I do miss him, he is a lovely man who had alot of the qualities I look for in a man" and the frustration of knowing that if it werent for this one thing, you would have been really happy with him. You usually miss somebody and feel upset, even as the dumper, unless the ex was a very horrible person. Still, you did the right thing, if you felt that he could not truly commit to you, and move forward to the relationship you wanted.
Bosiell Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 As Spind has said. You could be sad because the relationship didnt work, as opposed because you miss him, the fantasy and longing of what could have been, the "if onlys". And yes, being alone again is never easy, even tho you know you have made the right decision in ending the relationship. I do not think you will be at the relieved stage just yet. Tho in time I am sure you will be.
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