bluegoo06 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 just wondering what some of your opinions are on this. and for some backround information, our relationship has been a little bit rocky, but mostly little things that were getting better. there was no problems enough to cause this. so like friday night my boyfriend went out with friends to the bars, as he has many of times, he kissed a girl , a friend of a friend, and started freaking out about, he claims he left right after it happened and told the girl he ****ed up. so he went to work all day, and he came home to me and told me what he did while balling his eyes out. this was the first opportunity i could have seen him. and he is not one to ever cry about anything. so the fact that he was so upfront about it and was crying his eyes out, shows me he is sorry. he spent the rest of the night crying about it and i went to break up with him. then 2 hours after we had that discussion he called me back over to cry some more about how sorry he was. so let me know what you think about this....is it worth giving another chance?
Tony T Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Ask him if you can talk to the girl he screwed to ask her how loud he was crying while he was balling her. Ask him if he was thinking about you while he was screwing her. The answers to those questions will be a hint as to the action you should take. Men are NEVER, EVER sorry for having sex. They are sorry for getting caught and for having it bother their conscience. Guilt is such a bxtch! The guy has no morals.
Author bluegoo06 Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 he just kissed this girl. no screwing. and he was balling about it to me not her.
Tony T Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 he just kissed this girl. no screwing. and he was balling about it to me not her. Oh, OK...so ask him how much he was bawling while he was kissing her. Again, men don't do things like that unless they are enjoying it. People don't do things they don't want to do unless somebody has a gun to their head. If you give him another chance, that will be very kind and sweet of you. But then you're the one who will be wondering forever more what he's doing when he's not with you, when he's out "with the boys." I don't know what's better, a guy going out kissing other women and keeping his mouth shut...or a guy coming home and hurting his SO by telling her. Of course, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Give him another chance at dating...but I don't think he's a candidate right now for a life long partner. He still has some exploring to do.
Author bluegoo06 Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 its funny you bring up the point of him exploring and all that, im his first real relationship of a couple years. we have been dating a couple years. he claims that he doesnt know why he did it, and this is the first time he ever has. i believe him on the first time part at least. i dont really know waht to say about the whole, he doesnt know why he did it part. he claims it just happened. i mean i guess a kiss is better than screwing someone. i am glad he told me but it still hurts alot. the worst part is i love this guy so much i wanted to marry him. but now, i am still in disbelief
Tony T Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 its funny you bring up the point of him exploring and all that, im his first real relationship of a couple years. we have been dating a couple years. he claims that he doesnt know why he did it, and this is the first time he ever has. i believe him on the first time part at least. i dont really know waht to say about the whole, he doesnt know why he did it part. he claims it just happened. i mean i guess a kiss is better than screwing someone. i am glad he told me but it still hurts alot. the worst part is i love this guy so much i wanted to marry him. but now, i am still in disbelief Before you make any decisions at all, you need to let some time pass. If you can trust him in a month...if you can feel secure that he will be faithful to you, etc., then continue dating him. Has he been dating a lot in the last few years while he wasn't in a relationship? If so, parts of him may still be in that mode. It's really nice that he was honest with you but that doesn't let him off the hook for what he did. Yeah, if this was an isolated incident and it won't happen again forgiving him and continuing to see him might be a good thing...if you can handle it. I still wonder if you can trust him when he's away from you. Give it some time and let's see.
Author bluegoo06 Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 in his past, he saw a couple girls for a week maybe. we are still young so the dating years have been short so far. and i broke it off last night, but he called me over like 2 hours later balling, so we decided to take a break instead. but i think you right, time will tell. it just doesnt make sense to me how he could kiss someone else, but yet he balled about doing it for hours. he never cries, so i know that he didnt want to hurt me. and the fact that he was so upfront about it shows a lot too. how do you make something like this work again? i told him already if he wants this its gonna be a pain in the butt for him because im going to need him to do certain things so i can trust him again. any ideas?
Sweetcheripie Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Sounds like he is remorseful about kissing another person and at least he told you about it as soon as possible. Yet, I totally agree with Tony T - I might keep on dating him but definitely would rule out as a life long partner - he does sound immature.
Author bluegoo06 Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 ya that hurts the most though, he was the one i thought i wanted to marry. i guess i have bad judgement. its hard to help how you feel. its probably not worth continuing then, because we graduate from college in 6 months and then we are trying to get our careers going.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 just wondering what some of your opinions are on this. and for some backround information, our relationship has been a little bit rocky, but mostly little things that were getting better. there was no problems enough to cause this. so like friday night my boyfriend went out with friends to the bars, as he has many of times, he kissed a girl , a friend of a friend, and started freaking out about, he claims he left right after it happened and told the girl he ****ed up. so he went to work all day, and he came home to me and told me what he did while balling his eyes out. this was the first opportunity i could have seen him. and he is not one to ever cry about anything. so the fact that he was so upfront about it and was crying his eyes out, shows me he is sorry. he spent the rest of the night crying about it and i went to break up with him. then 2 hours after we had that discussion he called me back over to cry some more about how sorry he was. so let me know what you think about this....is it worth giving another chance? The center of attention here is not what he did with the other girl, but instead whyyyyyyyyyyyy he bothered to tell you about it. Now if the other girl had been your sister or your best friend or something, and not the "friend of a friend", then it makes sense that he'd expect that person to tell you, so he'd want to tell first. In this case, the other person would probably say nothing, for not wanting to get involved at the very least. So the reason he told you what happened, is that he is jonesing for YOU to break up with HIM, perhaps because he's too uncomfortable to break-up with you. Otherwise there just wouldn't be ANY reason at all to have confessed to you. Just consider how many married couples out there have one or both parties who have had sex outside the marriage and never told a soul. The only reason they would tell their partner what happened is to inspire that partner to become so mad that he/she would end the relationship and effectively free them. So look deeper...
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