Ocean-Blue Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I understand, but no i dont do this to the point of madness, but i do do this with women, and you still in return get selfishness, and projecting crap at me, for really trying to do what i feel is right! No im not a softie, i give as good as i get, and hav shared many of these momnets with the ex, but their was always a dark cloud above our heads, of arguing, and not trusting, and not caring about my wants and my feelings. If you can honestly say that you gave it your all and she did not...well all you can do is move on knowing that you did all you could. Remember, not every woman out there is like your ex. If you approach the world with this sense of "am I the only one"...well you're going to bring that baggage into a prospective relationship. You may be more likely to "pre-judge" a situation and have your guard up (and therefore end up sizing a well-meaning woman as being one who is selfish or uncaring). You need a clean slate.
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 Some of us are broken...and we have our own way of trying to "fix" ourselves. You sound like you're still recovering from something...perhaps now's the time to focus on yourself. The lady to keep will follow eventually... As many im getting over a loss of a family, and one that was very dear to me, but i have been healing, slow, and feeling ready to date, but in the process, i have grown, and my thoughts have changed. Maybe this is what has become, what is now what i know i want, and am getting fustrsated at what i see or am finding, maybe im being impatent, maybe i should not even be dating, but i feel i can have a crap date, and not feel i wais my ex was here, but instead, think, wow , no thanks! Im at the moment venting, as well as asking, and its a good thing, to hear what people think. This has been the most dramatic time since this break up, one that caused me to feel great lows, and look for life coching and guidence, and one that i have massivly learnt from, and maybe this is my next stage! maybe i should, shut up , get a beer, and forget about all this im writing! ha ha who knows whats next! .
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 If you can honestly say that you gave it your all and she did not...well all you can do is move on knowing that you did all you could. Remember, not every woman out there is like your ex. If you approach the world with this sense of "am I the only one"...well you're going to bring that baggage into a prospective relationship. You may be more likely to "pre-judge" a situation and have your guard up (and therefore end up sizing a well-meaning woman as being one who is selfish or uncaring). You need a clean slate. Of course i made mistaks in the relationship, and big ones, but i did my best at the time. Three kids a woman with much pain and a 6 4 hubby with a temper is alot to deal with !!
Ocean-Blue Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 As many im getting over a loss of a family, and one that was very dear to me, but i have been healing, slow, and feeling ready to date, but in the process, i have grown, and my thoughts have changed. Maybe this is what has become, what is now what i know i want, and am getting fustrsated at what i see or am finding, maybe im being impatent, maybe i should not even be dating, but i feel i can have a crap date, and not feel i wais my ex was here, but instead, think, wow , no thanks! Im at the moment venting, as well as asking, and its a good thing, to hear what people think. This has been the most dramatic time since this break up, one that caused me to feel great lows, and look for life coching and guidence, and one that i have massivly learnt from, and maybe this is my next stage! maybe i should, shut up , get a beer, and forget about all this im writing! ha ha who knows whats next! . Nah. Don't shut up. It's good to write this stuff down...helps clear the head.
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 you seem clued, im a little confused, where do you think im at? I should have to ask i should know, but me growing is coming fast, and new thoughts are coming to me, about what is out there!!
Ocean-Blue Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 you seem clued, im a little confused, where do you think im at? I should have to ask i should know, but me growing is coming fast, and new thoughts are coming to me, about what is out there!! Sorry...not sure what you mean by "clued". I don't think you're "at" anywhere...I was just proving you with MY perspective based on what you wrote. Only you yourself know what is really going on in your head and life...I'm just a mere poster.
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 Sorry...not sure what you mean by "clued". I don't think you're "at" anywhere...I was just proving you with MY perspective based on what you wrote. Only you yourself know what is really going on in your head and life...I'm just a mere poster. Yes i know, If i stop and thin, in my heart, im missing the ex, but as a friend, and she was not only my girl friend but a good friend as well. In myself, im looking for new, but with a different attitude, i guess im growing even at the ripe old age of 41.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Yes i know, If i stop and thin, in my heart, im missing the ex, but as a friend, and she was not only my girl friend but a good friend as well. In myself, im looking for new, but with a different attitude, i guess im growing even at the ripe old age of 41. I don't think we ever stop growing (unless you're wise like my grandmother was...hehehe).
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 ha ha the water's always warmer near the wise one!!
lindya Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 was i really born too late? your saying that women are now guys with boobs!! Welcome to ladette culture, founded upon "it's better to turn into your brother than to turn into your mother."
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 Welcome to ladette culture, founded upon "it's better to turn into your brother than to turn into your mother." Please tell me your joking!!! what happened to the pretty summer dresses, and the flash of bare skin and a low cut top that drives us guys wild! has it been replaced by combats and pint glasses!!
lindya Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Please tell me your joking!!! what happened to the pretty summer dresses, and the flash of bare skin and a low cut top that drives us guys wild! has it been replaced by combats and pint glasses!! Blame festival culture, punk, grunge...all the rest of it. I think women in the UK are sometimes afraid to try to be pretty, for fear of being ridiculed.
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 Blame festival culture, punk, grunge...all the rest of it. I think women in the UK are sometimes afraid to try to be pretty, for fear of being ridiculed. you know you are right!! so at least i know im not going nuts then!!
lindya Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 you know you are right!! so at least i know im not going nuts then!! Remember back in the 1980s, when it was acceptable for girls to go to clubs wearing floral dresses...provided they were also wearing Doc Marten boots and, perhaps, an odd little hat to show that they were only kidding around with the flowery stuff? I actually think a lot of women are far less afraid, now, to wear feminine clothes than they were back then.
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 from what i see, and were just talking about cloths nothing about everything else i said, in the i=uk, its hard to find a woman wering a dress in the summer, its more like three quater pants and a vest!! still cute (sometimes), but not lady like!! haha
sedgwick Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 A massarge and a barth sound great. But seriously...don't know how much I qualify as feminine (depends on your definition), but yeah, those are all the things I'm looking for. It just seems there aren't any guys out there who aren't hung up on their exes, gay, cheating on someone else to be with you, or just completely self-centered and /or terrified of commitment. I've kind of given up on a guy like that existing, or if he does exist, I'm not good enough for him. :/
AriaIncognito Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I have a question to ask! Is there a woman out there who trully wants to be loved by a guy? that will give as well as recive? that will talk about things? is there a woman that is feminin, and knows how to be a girl? whos idea of a night out is not getting hammered at a local club!! is there a woman that wants to be looked after, and massarged after a hard day, and that i can cook for , and run a barth for? and will walk holding hands in the contryside? or by the sea? are their woman who still want this life? or am i from a different planet? Yes there is. I am one of them. I gave all of that to my last ex. He didn't want any of it, apparently. Goes both ways.
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 A massarge and a barth sound great. But seriously...don't know how much I qualify as feminine (depends on your definition), but yeah, those are all the things I'm looking for. It just seems there aren't any guys out there who aren't hung up on their exes, gay, cheating on someone else to be with you, or just completely self-centered and /or terrified of commitment. I've kind of given up on a guy like that existing, or if he does exist, I'm not good enough for him. :/ im here!!!
marty Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 just try and have some faith mate. i would like to think deep deep down in everyone, guys and girls, that we all want what you do. there is ALOT of BS and brovado put up from both sex's, but i'd like to think its all a sheild we put up to hide our issues. there's alot of ppl who are selfcentred and just out for themselves,,,,,, but,,,,,,, theres a LOT more who are not. this is, of course , all said on one of my brighter, more positive days. as i was out last night , in some clubs, and saw all the stuff your on about. made me a little depressed to see how shallow many ppl have become. but are they shallow?? or is it just BS?? if you could cut to the core of these guys, im sure they want the same things,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its just finding one thats connects with you the same way. at least its what i'm telling myself. lol.
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 hey hope your well and in a better place!! im cool, and enjoying the banter on this thread!
Woggle Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Most women will say they want that but in practice they will leave a man like that and take advantage of his weakness. There are maybe 2 or 3 women that will genuinely appreciate that.
Author funkybassplayer Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 Most women will say they want that but in practice they will leave a man like that and take advantage of his weakness. There are maybe 2 or 3 women that will genuinely appreciate that. How sad a statment, being a good guy has become a weakness!! oh dear, im going to become a monk!
KittenMoon Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Um, sounds like the MAN OF MY DREAMS. Mostly, and by that I mean, there are some other specific wants, like passion for life, desire for travel, open-mindedness, etc. And I'm only 26, not from the old folks home. Problem is, it seems like a lot of these type of guys are actually addicted to the drama queens, because they feel by doing these things they're doing what the girl wants and becoming her knight in shining armor. What they don't realize is that the drama queens want the DRAMA not the knight.
Trialbyfire Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Ick...once again...genderized inaccuracies. It's not about gender but compatibility and fear. Bottom line, it's pretty much what most people want. In order to get it, you have to emotionally go WOT (wide open throttle) and most people aren't willing to do this, for reasons of self-protection.
Woggle Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 How sad a statment, being a good guy has become a weakness!! oh dear, im going to become a monk! Women have a vendetta against men for the most part and when they a kind and good man they go in for the kill and crush him. There are women who genuinely do appreciate it and you might bne lucky enough one day to have one fall in your lap like I did.
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