sweetbutcheeky Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 You were dating a guy and they weren't into you at the time then a year later or so all of a sudden they pop up out of no where all interested? Variations of this has happened to me twice. Once we went out 2 or 3 times then he said he just wasn't feeling a connection. Which is fine. Then about a year later he starts talking to me on msn saying he has been thinking about me, didn't know what he was thinking or why he did that at the time. Keeps thinking about how cool I was to hang out with. (too bad so sad! lol) Second time was a little more complicated. Last summer he had come to Canada for 2 months on vacation, we had talked online for a while before that. We met through a friend of his, she gave me his email address trying to hook us up. So we fell hard and went through the whole tears and waiting until the last min at the airport. We had talked about becoming a couple but wanted to talk to his relatives when he got back (different religions and cultures). Anyway he made excuses in making up his mind and it ended soon after he got back. That was around this time last summer. Then 2 days ago I get a txt message on my cell phone. WTF? Asking how I am, telling me some friends are visiting. Guys please explain this!
loverboy69 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Some guys just don't realize what they have till it's gone. It's called regret. They may have liked you then, but weren't ready to commit and wanted to test the waters around a bit. Committing to you then might have prevented them to date other girls and in your scenario, even the loss of respect from their families where religion/culture is involved. Now they've had the opportunity to date other girls and now want to come back to what was tried and true. Whether or not you choose to let them back into your life is up to you and him, but don't make it too easy. The power right now is really yours. Best of luck!
Replicant Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 You were dating a guy and they weren't into you at the time then a year later or so all of a sudden they pop up out of no where all interested? Variations of this has happened to me twice. Once we went out 2 or 3 times then he said he just wasn't feeling a connection. Which is fine. Then about a year later he starts talking to me on msn saying he has been thinking about me, didn't know what he was thinking or why he did that at the time. Keeps thinking about how cool I was to hang out with. (too bad so sad! lol) Second time was a little more complicated. Last summer he had come to Canada for 2 months on vacation, we had talked online for a while before that. We met through a friend of his, she gave me his email address trying to hook us up. So we fell hard and went through the whole tears and waiting until the last min at the airport. We had talked about becoming a couple but wanted to talk to his relatives when he got back (different religions and cultures). Anyway he made excuses in making up his mind and it ended soon after he got back. That was around this time last summer. Then 2 days ago I get a txt message on my cell phone. WTF? Asking how I am, telling me some friends are visiting. Guys please explain this! I think variation #1, the dude was serious and at least honest about things not working and letting you know this. The latter part of what you wrote quoting him sounds more like you were a plan B. Variation #2, i guess summer fun came to an end and the thought of an LDR was not worth it to him. He made lame excuses to downplay it for whatever reason(s). May have been a blessing in disguise, not only for it being a potential LDR but if there was some sort of cultural crap involved. For both cases, the reason they may still be around is because they were officially never given the boot or placed into the friends zone and know it. I don't see anything wrong with say meeting someone then time and distance say displace you THEN meeting again after some time and picking it up to another level. But those dudes blew off what they had a chance for. It makes them look lame to crawl back like that. (Or at least that is what i determined from what you wrote)
jcster Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Well, this is a woman's perspective, but I think they're scoping you out to see what they can get. If they'd wanted a relationship in the first place, it would have happened - the best you can expect from either one is a protracted booty call and another hasty exit.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 The first guy and I did stay friends after he said he didn't see a connection but in the still keep you on msn but hardly talk and when you did wasn't much kinda way, then didn't talk at all. Then one day it came out that he had been thinking about me, pssh whatever. He is still on msn but I don't bother to talk to him. The second I don't get. I asked him when I responded to the txt why he started to talk after over a year, but didn't answer the question. Today got another txt asking what I was doing and telling me he was playing with his sister's little boy. I don't understand it, he wouldn't make up his mind during that time to be with me. I sent him a box of things he liked from Canada, a Christmas gift and I had mailed him gifts (to Trinidad from Canada) no thank you or anything. I asked if he could help me out with the shipping because it was expensive and he said he would but never did (not the Christmas gift the first of other things he wanted), I asked again if he mailed it and went on about how he already paid for our dates and to come see me. That pissed me off and still does. Don't bring up money paid to spend time with me! So wtf after things not ending well, the above and he not deciding to be with me or not, just a bunch of bs like how in Canada we rush things and so on. (I know his sister and she said that the cultures aren't that different and after 2 months wasn't rushing in Trini as well) Why start sending me messages? Especially random nothing messages like no time or problems ever went on!
Ever Seeking Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 We tend to look up people we used to date whenever there is a drastic change in our romantic lives. In my case, I did it (contacted an ex) when I left my then wife. It's natural to want to attract someone when you are newly unhitched. Thos guys just happened to choose you.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 I dunno if that's what the deal is, of course I wouldn't. But his sister is visiting who I also know so I dunno if that has anything to do with it, if she mentioned me or if seeing her sparked something. I have no idea but is annoying me that he is sending me casual txt messages like nothing happened.
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