sunshine111 Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 what a fab site, this is my first posting. Ive only just split from my ex and he is threatening me with really awful things. He is threatening to tell my son who his biological father is, he is threatening to go into my work and tell them all about my sexual past. He is threatening to put pictures up in work that he has of me topless. Why?? I dont really know... Weve been with eachother for 4 months, I always knew he had a temper and was very hot headed but its as if he likes pushing me away by being really nasty insulting to see if I will come back to him. People say Im really attractive, have a nice figure and could get anyone I wanted but he says things like I need a tummy tuck, I have a saggy bottom and breasts, I need to do pelvic floor exercises. He is having problems maintaining an erection at the moment and he blames me for making him that way and that I make him heave. I know Im attractive, yes Ive had 3 children but no one is perfect, he has so many faults I couldnt hurt him the way he hurts me. Ive finished with him about 5 times but he begs and begs and cries for days then he is all lovely for a week then turns nasty again. I want to end this but he is threatening me with all the above, we have a facility on our phone where he can send a text to my landline and it 'speaks' the text.. he sent one about an hour ago saying 'who's your daddy' my son could have picked the phone up. Im trapped I want to get out but the fear of his threats keeps me with him. what can I do please help me, im crying as I write this.
compassion42 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Run for the hills!!! He's not a good person. Threats like that are a form of harrassment. Tell him you'll call the police if he doesn't stop. Good luck-he sounds like a real handfull!
InLimbo2 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 And next time you date someone - don't tell them all your secrets and/or have compromising pictures of you - at least not at 4 months of dating! what a fab site, this is my first posting. Ive only just split from my ex and he is threatening me with really awful things. He is threatening to tell my son who his biological father is, he is threatening to go into my work and tell them all about my sexual past. He is threatening to put pictures up in work that he has of me topless. Why?? I dont really know... Weve been with eachother for 4 months, I always knew he had a temper and was very hot headed but its as if he likes pushing me away by being really nasty insulting to see if I will come back to him. People say Im really attractive, have a nice figure and could get anyone I wanted but he says things like I need a tummy tuck, I have a saggy bottom and breasts, I need to do pelvic floor exercises. He is having problems maintaining an erection at the moment and he blames me for making him that way and that I make him heave. I know Im attractive, yes Ive had 3 children but no one is perfect, he has so many faults I couldnt hurt him the way he hurts me. Ive finished with him about 5 times but he begs and begs and cries for days then he is all lovely for a week then turns nasty again. I want to end this but he is threatening me with all the above, we have a facility on our phone where he can send a text to my landline and it 'speaks' the text.. he sent one about an hour ago saying 'who's your daddy' my son could have picked the phone up. Im trapped I want to get out but the fear of his threats keeps me with him. what can I do please help me, im crying as I write this.
Kerewin Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 As embarrassing as it may be, you should let your boss know some of what's going on (don't need to give details, just that you have a possibly dangerous/ unbalanced ex.). This will give your workplace the opportunity to take steps to keep you---and everyone else---safe.
jcster Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Im trapped I want to get out but the fear of his threats keeps me with him. what can I do please help me, im crying as I write this. You're ex is an abusive person. What you are experiencing are his attempts to maintain control over you now that you've left him. Whatever you do, stay away from this man! There is no amount of dirty laundry that this man can air about you that is worth your, or your son's life! Please read up on the "warning signs of an abuser:" http://www.family-crisis-center.org/crisis/warning.html http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm You should also save any emails, phone messages or notes that he sends you and check with your local police department about getting a restraining order as soon as you can - it's not total protection, but it can help - and it's vital for getting him arrested if he follows through on his threats. Just because he hasn't hit you yet, doesn't mean he won't. His attempts to control you will escalate, and every second you spend talking to him makes it worse. Good luck - and please take this seriously and protect yourself!
Author sunshine111 Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 thank you for your replies and i checked out the site you asked me to view and apart from the violence (yet) that is him... He sent a few loving texts last night followed by a nasty one and I havent heard anything today, thank god. Im going to work soon, I work in a hotel, alone, but the door locks and I have panic attack buttons. Will keep you posted. Im hoping he will accept it is over and take responsibility for his own actions and not blame me.
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