Sanslatete Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 It's 9.15 on a Saturday night and I'm sitting at the pc, on a heartbreak blog site, pouring my heart out on a keyboard, listening to Alanis Morissette singing about messy break-ups......... I used to have a life ffs! What happened to bring it to a grinding halt like this!? Apart from my ex being a slag and ****ting on me that is. While most people are out having a good time, I'm sitting here, on my own..(apart from Alanis...but mp3's don't count) doing this. I can't express how sad that feels right now.
melodymatters Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Welcome to real life . Anyone who puts their heart on the line is risking having it broken. I don't know one adult who hasn't gone through it. Even when it's your choice because you know he's bad for you, it doesn't make it any easier. Good call on the alanis and LS ! It's all about getting through to the other side. And you will.
Bosiell Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 ditto.. Im drinking fecking whiskey on my lonesome, listening to Keane! Hmm something aint right. But but but..
MattyTee Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Well I would be at home on a Saturday night if I didn't have to work. Still I'm sat here in a dingy office posting on a heartbreak site I've had a rough couple of days - I just found out she's going out dating. She actually started looking after 4 weeks (this was an 8 year relationship and we were engaged). Every hour or so my mind just goes "Erm, what the fudge?". I still find it hard to believe!
Bosiell Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 I've had a rough couple of days - I just found out she's going out dating. She actually started looking after 4 weeks (this was an 8 year relationship and we were engaged). Every hour or so my mind just goes "Erm, what the fudge?". I still find it hard to believe! Yeah Matt, What the Fudge indeed. I feel for you bro. Take it easy.. Work on a Sat nite, what gives?? ps. feck it im off out for a kebab.. being single aint so bad
MattyTee Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Ah Kebabs! Now that's something I haven't eaten in a while. Remember, you must be drunk before eating - alcohol nullifies the effects of the kebab "meat" I'm a Cinema Manager so I get weird work hours. Still, it's Arthouse so I don't need to worry about us getting any customers
Author Sanslatete Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 Isn't it dire straits when even ****ing kebabs remind you of your ex!!!? All those walks home from shows etc...when we dropped by for one on the way. This is ****ing torture.
sedgwick Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Is there anything at all you could be doing besides sitting home obsessing? Could you take yourself out to see a movie your ex wouldn't have liked? Can you call a friend? Take yourself out for ice cream? Anything at all besides sitting and staring at your computer and listening to sad music?
Bosiell Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Yeah I went out for kebab sedge! Was **** tho(if any consolation Sans!) and like Matty said, aint the same unless uve had a skinfull. Did have plans but I was let down so thought feck it, stayed in, opend up some JB, and felt sorry for myself. Mkay..
Author Sanslatete Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 Is there anything at all you could be doing besides sitting home obsessing? Could you take yourself out to see a movie your ex wouldn't have liked? Can you call a friend? Take yourself out for ice cream? Anything at all besides sitting and staring at your computer and listening to sad music? You must get the impression I'm some saddo who lives to mourn his lost relationship, but tonight's the first night I've been in for weeks. I don't drink so getting pissed isn't an option. I just thought I'd feel sorry for myself for a while and have a vent (the whole purpose of this site I thought) as I have to keep it together all day. I'd rant at the ex but she's incommunicado as far as I'm concerned.
MattyTee Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Vent away man! I'm with you on it. The tough days sometimes just need an outlet.
Surfer Girl Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I think the weekends are somewhat harder... I just know I tried to move on... with seeking someone else... bad move... I just need to just get over this to move one.... I just wish the timeline to move on was now....I am so afraid of meeting someone else... as comparing... And no one will compare.... Sucks...
Bosiell Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I think the weekends are somewhat harder... I just know I tried to move on... with seeking someone else... bad move... I just need to just get over this to move one.... I just wish the timeline to move on was now....I am so afraid of meeting someone else... as comparing... And no one will compare.... Sucks... Yeah I what you mean. Although I am not gonna turn down a possiblity, even just a casual thing, for the next couple of months I am just gonna concentrate on myself, and not go out of my way to find someone else just for sake of it. Weekends are harder at mo. Tho I am going out as much as possible. Pathetic as it may sound, I cant help but think I may get drunken txt or call from her, /sigh. I really need to get a grip of this.
MattyTee Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I think it's important to take some time out after a relationship. Without that time you aren't going to be thinking clearly or even in touch with your real emotions. I'm not an expert - in fact this is my first breakup - but I know I couldn't be with someone else now because I'm simply not ready for any kind of relationship. For arguments sake if my ex called and said let's work things out I would say "I want to but I'm not ready" - as hard as that would be.
Author Sanslatete Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 There's a maelstrom of emotions after a break up, particularly one like mine, and my head's still not recovered properly yet. I've changed a lot as a person, both outwardly (the way I dress...etc) and inwardly (how I think and rationalise things). With all that going on, it would be crazy for me to get into any sort of permenant relationship as I've not finished my filtering and changing. I don't expect to be the same person I am in, say...six months from now, so anyone I may meet now may not like who I end up being. I don't think even my ex would recognise me now, I've changed so much.....had to. So, yes, like you say Matty, I'm not really in touch with my emotions yet, I've had to numb them down a bit or I couldn't cope with day to day.
Bosiell Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 break I've changed a lot as a person, both outwardly (the way I dress...etc) and inwardly (how I think and rationalise things). With all that going on, it would be crazy for me to get into any sort of permenant relationship as I've not finished my filtering and changing. I don't expect to be the same person I am in, say...six months from now, so anyone I may meet now may not like who I end up being. I don't think even my ex would recognise me now, I've changed so much.....had to. quote] I to will be a different person for this experience. I feel like I have no choice but to be. But also I am trying (hard at times tho) to take something from the heartbreak, to learn from the breakup. Knowing there are certain elements of myself, in and out, that I need and want to change. I am determind to be a better person from this, and look back in six months time saying yeah that blew big but look at me now, ive come on so much for it. I know its not going to be an easy ride, but a ride I have to get on, and NOT fall off. Keeping on during the last few days have been fecking hard tho, but I will always try.
Author Sanslatete Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 It's always going to be a day to day thing and it's far from easy Bosiell, but, like you said, it will be good to look back in six months and think 'look at me now'. It's a terrifying roller-coaster ride that I've been forced on really, but I can only do my best to hold on to the end.
wizer Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 It could be worse. You could be one of those poor slobs on here who went 3 or more years without a date because they were afraid to put themselves out there. You'll heal, and you'll be ok. And you'll get back out there and meet someone better. Take your time.
Bosiell Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 It could be worse. You could be one of those poor slobs on here who went 3 or more years without a date because they were afraid to put themselves out there. You'll heal, and you'll be ok. And you'll get back out there and meet someone better. Take your time. Fair shout.. But I defo need to put myself out there more than I used to. something else I am gonna take from all this fudge.
Author Sanslatete Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 Going to be a while before I put my neck on the block again. I was devastated at the end of this relationship and it's screwed me up big time. For a start, I don't have the trust I had so I know I'd be very much on the back foot. I feel I could be cold and withdrawn too as I'm wary of loving again, it's been a long, hard journey to get to this stage in my healing and I don't EVER want to go through again what I have this year.
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