ailuv Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Hi everyone Well I am pretty sure I just made the biggest mistake ever. I am a college student, I have never been the "forward" type but for some reason this time around I though it was a safe bet. There was this guy in one of my classes and he was always staring at me, I would catch him staring at me and he wouln't look away he would keep staring and sometimes even smile. At times we would just stare at each other and smile. I could tell from my peripheral vision that he was constantly "keeping tabs" on me. After a while (at first I thought it was weird) I became interested in him, because he was in fact really cute. The smiles and stares continued... and I noticed that he would get louder than he usually was when I was around, and he would also flirt with other girls and look my way to make sure I was looking. I also noticed his friends would stare at me and smile, and would always be staring at me from their peripheral vision. Well, I told my best friend about it (we have the same class) and she told me there was a way to obtain the e-mail address from everyone in the classroom, she went and found his e-mail address and I wrote him a little email saying "I think you are really cute and I like you, this is weird and I've never done this before, but I though I would just let you know. Write back". Anyways, he never wrote back, I feel really really embarrased, I am just mortified. I honestly thought he liked me! My gut feeling told me he did, and he was always just looking my way and staring. He would flirt with this other girl sometimes but it was always weird, he would stare at me, and make sure I was looking and then he would flirt with her. The time he spent paying attention to me was not even half the time he spent talking to her. I honestly thought he was trying to make me jealous. I don't know, do you guys think I did the right thing, what's going on? Help I feel so bad, I should have neve sent that e-mail!!!
Ponzoli Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Here to help ya. Well first off, my initial question would be: How long ago did you send him this e-mail? I mean is this something you just sent out yesterday or thurs? If so, he just might not have gotten to read it yet? Do you know if he reads his e-mails every day? Also, have you seen him since you sent him this e-mail, in class or around the hall? If so, what was his general demeanor like? I will need some more info before I can provide you with any solid advice, but like I said, I am here to help.
Kerewin Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 I don't know if was the BIGGEST mistake, but in general you may not want to commit something like that to writing with someone you don't know really well
compassion42 Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Has he still been staring at you as usual? Maybe he never got your email..ya just never know.
whichwayisup Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Don't worry about it. You put yourself 'out' there, you took a chance. HIS LOSS! IF he is embarressed or shy, or even maybe not as interested (maybe thrill of the chase), who knows, atleast you did something about it and didn't sit this one out. Try not to feel embarressed by this.
jcster Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I think that was a perfectly acceptable email - and it sure beats the heck out of just sitting there staring at each other. Have you tried talking to him in person yet? Don't mention the email, just start a small conversation. Also, he might not even know your name, so be sure to introduce yourself. That might be why he didn't answer your email.
jhend2887 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I think that was a perfectly acceptable email - and it sure beats the heck out of just sitting there staring at each other. Have you tried talking to him in person yet? Don't mention the email, just start a small conversation. Also, he might not even know your name, so be sure to introduce yourself. That might be why he didn't answer your email. That's exactly what I was thinking. I know that I personally don't ever respond to e-mails from someone I don't know if they say anything about thinking I'm "cute." Mainly this is because I instantly assume there is some sort of scam going on and I don't want to be a part of it. Or it's possible that he doesn't like how impersonal e-mail is and would rather you just talk to him in person.
Timberlane Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 He may not have gotten the e-mail. Ask him what he's up to sometime in class. You don't need to ask him out, just ask him what his plans are when he gets out of class. If he wants to take the bait, he'll suggest going for coffee or something. If not, you'll just make conversation. I sent an e-mail to the charming woman I had a date with last week, but never got a reply. I ran into her today by chance, and we were quite warm with each other. Mmmmm. So I asked if she got the message. She had, only it was to her work address, which is the only one I have. It had appeared on a projected image at some meeting. Luckily it only said, "A song for you" and not "Thinking about getting with you, oh yeahhhhhh!" So you never know with e-mail. Then there's the spam filter stuff. Just go say hello to the dude in class.
Author ailuv Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your wonderful replies. Well I sent the e-mail last Thursday, and I have not seen him until now- I have him tomorrow in class so I guess that's when I'll really be able to give you guys more feedback. I just find it hard to believe he hasn't read the e-mail yet, but maybe he hasn't, I honestly don't know. I am just extremely afraid of being publicly embarrassed about this. I mean what if in the middle of the lecture hall he just starts asking "who's Ai, she sent me an e-mail" or "what a stalker " or him confronting me in front of everybody "where did you get my e-mail address from"- you know I am just embarrassed of things like that. I am an extremely shy girl and I have been kicking myself over the head over making this move the whole weekend. I've actually become physically sick, I honestly though the interest was mutual, but I guess I was wrong...
wizer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Nothing wrong with what you did. Except for assuming he isn't interested, or even that he received it and read it. You took the initiative and that's great. Even if it doesn't work out with this guy I think you should do it again, the next time a similar situation arises.
popey Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 1. It may not even be the email address he regularly uses. 2. Are you sure he knows it was from you? 3. There's nothing wrong with sending that email. Life's to short to worry more about rejection than reret never knowing or acting on anything. 4. Even if the worst case scenario is true... I can assure you, this is not the worst thing you will ever do. Worst case: this too shall pass. Revel in the fact that you were no chicken.
Author ailuv Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 Hey, well I am back and I can say that he was definitely a different person today. He wasn't the smiley loud guy he had been a few weeks back, he barely stared at me- in fact I think he only looked once (I did not look at him AT ALL this is all by peripheral vision only) and he looked kinda pissed off the whole time. He looked really shy and almost embarrassed. He wasn't even flirting with that one girl I talked about in the first post. He was a completely different person- shy, looked embarrassed and even pissed off. And no, he never replied to my e-mail either. Thoughts please?
Sweetcheripie Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Maybe he just had a really bad weekend. I'm sure his reaction isn't because of your email. Who wouldn't like getting an email that someone likes you?? It is flattering. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It is great that you sent the email and took a chance. Lots of emails don't get read, spam, etc. so there is the possibility he never read it. Also, there is the possibility he is just a weirdo! Likes to stare but is a big chicken when the possibility is a reality and runs away because of his hangups and fears of rejection. His problem, not yours. No matter what - be proud of yourself for taking a chance. Keep smiling and please don't make yourself sick over this. You didn't do anything wrong and now its time to move on.
lindya Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Hey, well I am back and I can say that he was definitely a different person today. He wasn't the smiley loud guy he had been a few weeks back, he barely stared at me- in fact I think he only looked once (I did not look at him AT ALL this is all by peripheral vision only) and he looked kinda pissed off the whole time. He looked really shy and almost embarrassed. He wasn't even flirting with that one girl I talked about in the first post. He was a completely different person- shy, looked embarrassed and even pissed off. And no, he never replied to my e-mail either. Thoughts please? You've done nothing wrong. Your email was fine. It was perfectly sweet and complimentary. If that's what he's reacting weirdly to, then he's just being a child. I don't think you should spend any more time analysing this, as it seems to be causing you way too much stress. Just know that there's nothing wrong with what you did, and it's really not your problem if he wants to start being foolish and strange about the whole thing. Maybe you should cast your eye round the classroom for someone who's a little bit more straightforward and easy to get to know.
Fancee Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I understand how arward that feels. I would have to email under a name that doesn't identify me for awhile at first. My best friend last week showed a scenario where we have mutual friend who thinks everybody is looking at and choosing him.If he drinks some type of health food drink he looks better and ppl are looking at him, on and on etc. But if you watch him in public places he staring at these ppl and they are watching him. Sorry about all of it.
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