Crowley Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I feel like I'm reading about myself... I've been seeing a guy that I like, in the beginning he would call, email and IM all the time. It has now become infrequent text messages only...even when I call him and leave him a message. I've been to his house and didn't see any signs of a spouse, but that doesn't mean anything. The dates that we go on are extremely nice and we have a wonderful time, but I feel like it's out of site, out of mind when we're not together. I don't think all men are this way, and I'm beginning to think this one isn't feeling the same way anymore.
Author BeautifulMusic Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 When you're apart, does he tell you he really wants to see you, misses you, etc.? Because that's the part that confuses me the most. Makes me doubt what my usual instincts would be in this situation and wonder if he just really is busy like he says.
Crowley Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 He says he's thinking of me, that it will be hard for him to be away, etc. It does confuse me, and makes me crazy. But I don't want to make it an issue with him, if it really isn't one. Maybe that's just how he likes to communicate?....and if I don't, do I just accept it? I already tried to call a few times, and got no phone call back, so I don't think I want to try and call again...what's the point? I wish I knew what to tell you to help you, because then it might help me too.
Author BeautifulMusic Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 He says he's thinking of me, that it will be hard for him to be away, etc. It does confuse me, and makes me crazy. But I don't want to make it an issue with him, if it really isn't one. Maybe that's just how he likes to communicate?....and if I don't, do I just accept it? I already tried to call a few times, and got no phone call back, so I don't think I want to try and call again...what's the point? I wish I knew what to tell you to help you, because then it might help me too. I bolded right there what the real issue is for me! I don't know him well enough to know what's normal for him, and I don't want to be the girl who makes a big deal out of nothing- I want to just act cool and have him like me for it. Okay, maybe that should tell me something. I don't think I'll bring up the show this weekend... just have normal conversation and let him know about all the awesome things going on in my life. Hopefully that will help! And if I do talk to him, I'll post back about it and let you know how it worked out, and maybe that will help you with your situation. And if you find anything changes with your situation, please do the same!
sunshinegirl Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Listen, I'm not trying to pull any kind of superiority act on you, so I'm sorry if my words came off that way. I responded to what you wrote - if there are more relevant details, please include them. I guess the bottom line is that I learned the hard way not to believe someone's words but instead to believe their actions. So when I see you trying so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt when his actions are saying squat, I wanted to point it out in such a way that you might take notice. I suspect a not-flattering back story on his side - he's either married, or in another relationship, or is stringing you along because he hopes it will turn into a booty call or something similar. Obviously I don't know him so maybe he really is head over heels for you. But his actions so far say otherwise - if someone claims to want to see you or spend time with you but nothing in their actions backs that up, well... what would you conclude? If this was your best friend and not you in the situation, what would you counsel her to do? Anyway, if I overstated things previously, again I'm sorry. I guess I just don't see nuance in this situation, yet many on this thread are expending a lot of energy to find the nuance, to excuse his behavior, to find the bright spot of hope that he is relationship material. Of course it is your prerogative to call him again. Good luck if you decide to do so.
Crowley Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Hi, I feel like we are the same person, dating the same person...I got another text today, but didn't reply. I'm resisting temptation to do it. If I actually do talk to him I will let you know...Good luck.
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