Treadstone Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I'm in a pretty sticky situation and I'm hoping that you can offer me some advice out of my predicament. A couple of months ago, I met this woman and it was amazing the rate, speed and the level at which we connected. She had lived in my country for some months, learned the culture, a little bit of the language and she'd had a fantastic time there. She asked me if I could teach her more of the language and I obliged. We started off with friendship which was fine with me because I'd come out of a long term relationship some months prior and have also started a great career. So frankly I neither had the time or the appetite for a relationship. We hit it off right away with plenty to talk about. We also had a lot in common. For example, we can communicate in three different distinct languages and generally share similar philosophies in life. We spent lots of time together and I always made sure that our "dates" were fun. Usually involved things like biking around the waterfront, cooking lunch together at my place, teaching her, playing a game unique to my country etc. I tease her a lot and accuse her of making sexual advances towards me when she for instance hold my hand, grab my ass playfully, or look straight in my eyes and smiles. I make her laugh a lot. Anyway a few weeks ago, she admitted to me that she's falling hard for me and that she feels so excited when she thinks about me all the time. I had suspected this through her body language and actions. For instance, she initiates all the calls and sometimes I'll even intentionally ignore her call for a while but she will call back before I've had the chance to return it. She was also jealous of this other girl that I was seeing and often times ask if she's as fun as her? Well, she indicated that she's afraid of what that could mean because she's in a long distance relationship with this guy who lives outside the country and that they've talked about her joining him. She seemed quite unsure about going but she said she will see after the guy comes over for a week's visit. So the guy came over last week and I didn't see her at all but she called me twice to say she misses me. A couple of days ago, she told me that she has decided to move to join the guy in about a month. I was quiet for a while and didn't say much except that I ask her if she's sure if that's what she really want to do. She said yes. I could sense that she knew that I'm not happy with her decision even though I didn't verbally say so. Yesterday, I didn't call her but went out for my errands. She called me twice but I didn't return her call just a quick short e-mail later at night. During the course of the day, I met 3 different women and managed to get all their numbers. But the truth is I think I like the way this woman makes me feel about myself and it will be nice if I could keep her here. What should I do?
peace_pipe Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 You can't do anything. You allowed yourself to be put in the friend zone from day one. You described yourselves as "friends" in one sentence and then "dating" in the other. You're either one or the other. Do yourself a favor and the next time a woman proclaims she "wants to be friends" drop her like a bad habit. She may then realize that you have some backbone and mature enough to know what you want. You're in the friendzone and that is where you shall stay. I promise you her and this other guy didn't start off with "let's be friends." Have some self respect and call a spade a spade.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 it will be nice if I could keep her here. What should I do? Gather these items! 1. Duct tape 2. A very solid chair. 3. A comfortable chair cushion 4. Blind fold 5. Feeing tube 6. Blender 7. Rope 8. Book on knot tying 9. Bed pan Feel free to add if I'm missing anything!
ItIs Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 :laugh: Cobra's on the right track ... or you could always build a cage, or set up some stocks or manacles....
amber1 Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 It sounds like she might be tired of trying with you. You have intentionally IGNORED her calls? Why did you do this? It sounds like some of this has been a game to you...like you just wanted to see how far she would go next. I think she might have sensed that you really don't care for her that much and the other guy might be showing her that he truly does care. When she told you that she is falling hard for you, how did you react? Anyway, I think she figured you weren't that into her and moved on.
jophil28 Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 It sounds like she might be tired of trying with you. You have intentionally IGNORED her calls? Why did you do this? It sounds like some of this has been a game to you...like you just wanted to see how far she would go next. I think she might have sensed that you really don't care for her that much and the other guy might be showing her that he truly does care. When she told you that she is falling hard for you, how did you react? Anyway, I think she figured you weren't that into her and moved on. Geez this is lame advice - rambling girly mush . Troops , listen up ! You are MEN ! You are desirable commodities, you are valuable abd highly prized , You are LEADERS ...NEVER - EVER get in a TRIANGLE with another woman's ex or her B/f or her husband . Women will emotianally CHEAT on them with you for some cheap attention and then when she has to make a choice, she will go back to Gomer coz she can control him, or he is rich, or he has a nice smile or some such crap. NO TRIANGLES -EVER !! Did you watch The TITANIC ? That story is most women's idea of a "true romance".. In fact the chick cheated on her fiance with some ****kicker who got to sleep with the fishes for his trouble..
Fancee Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 You played your game to hard. You played yourself right out of pocket. In the future give up being a playa. Its something that has to come naturally. You heard that sayn u got to know when to foldem and you got know when to run. Jodi will have your girl and gone. You don't know when you dead on target or when you blowing game. So forget game. Game isn't you. You got 3 numbers; get busy - trouble don't last always. Love the one you can get.
WaterTiger Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 WAIT! She already had a boyfriend???? What was she doing grabbing your ass? If she will cheat on him with you, she will cheat on you with some other guy. You're good to be rid of her.
jcster Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 NO TRIANGLES -EVER !! Did you watch The TITANIC ? That story is most women's idea of a "true romance".. In fact the chick cheated on her fiance with some ****kicker who got to sleep with the fishes for his trouble.. Hahaha...you not only watched the Titanic...you cited it in a post on a relationship website...is that how they do it in MANLAND? or is it MANVILLE? Whatever.
reelwoman Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Hahaha...you not only watched the Titanic...you cited it in a post on a relationship website...is that how they do it in MANLAND? or is it MANVILLE? Whatever. go jcaster go!!! I pride myself on the fact that I have never seen Titanic and wouldnt waste my time with that hollywood romance crap..... oh, and I have to agree with those who are saying you were playing games with her----sorry if it sounds harsh, but playing hard to get is so banal and boring. I like to know that someone likes me and isn't afraid to put himself out there and take a risk. Maybe she feels the same way. you didn't give her enough of a reason to stay. Better luck next time!
jophil28 Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Hahaha...you not only watched the Titanic...you cited it in a post on a relationship website...is that how they do it in MANLAND? or is it MANVILLE? Whatever. Why do you hate me,, I am sensitive to ridicule ,, lets be friends,dude. You wanna march with me in the Gay Pride Parade next week.
Trialbyfire Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Treadstone, were you so blinded by all the green lights she gave you, that you couldn't tell her you wanted her? Instead you continued playing games, so she followed your lead and kept on going.... If you want her, tell her so. Worst case scenario, she still goes and you're left in the same position you're in now...without her.
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