alterego1234 Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Recently divorced father of 3 here, just starting to heal and considering the dating scene. Last night, I took my young daughter to her swimming lesson. Before her class, I struck up a conversation with one of the swimming teachers to find out where my daughter's class was, who her teacher was, etc. It turns out by chance that the teacher I talked to ended up being my daughter's teacher. The class lasted half an hour. Trying to be the good dad, I was standing on the side of the pool and watching my daughter, clapping when she did her first unassisted back float, etc. I was also watching in a more detached manner as the teacher took turns with the other three kids in the class. After a few minutes I noticed that the swimming teacher was making pretty regular eye contact with me. And as I was paying attention, it was not only when it was my daughter's turn, it was also when she was helping the other kids. If I had to count it would probably be at least 10 or 15 different times I caught this. She seemed to be holding eye contact longer than I would expect if she were surreptitiously checking me out and didn't want me to realize it. It was long enough for me to realize that she was looking at me and -- it seemed to me -- for her to realize that I realized she was looking at me, if that makes any sense. It also seemed to be too frequent and deliberate to be categorized as "just checking to see if the dad is watching his daughter succeed at swimming" look. I think I'm a decent looking guy -- I'm not a Matt Damon or George Clooney, but I'm not a fat slob middle-aged scruffy guy with hygiene issues, either. Maybe I'm cute if I happen to be the type a girl likes. I'd like to believe that she was checking me out and signaling to me that she thought I was attractive. The only other theory I can come up with is that she was staring in the same way you'd stare at a car accident...morbid fascination. I don't think I'm that bad looking, and I'm pretty sure I didn't have my fly open or anything amiss like that. So anyway, ladies, what is the most likely explanation for this? And if I had decided to strike up another conversation with her after the class, do people just ask other people out like that, when they've just met? (I'm such a dating neophyte!)
smalltownsingle Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Body language is sometimes stronger than words. But eye contact may be misinterpreted. Did she voluntary hold the eye contact when you were looking? Personally when Im interested in someone, I will likely make eye contact, but as soon as I realize that the other person noticed the eye contact, I would smile, or look away from shyness. I wouldnt jump to conclusions here. Try striking another conversation with her, get to know a little bit more and maybe you'll find out if she's really interested.
Author alterego1234 Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 Yes, she did seem to be holding eye contact after I looked at her. But it seemed sort of like a gaze rather than anything in the "come hither" realm. And no real smile with the eye contact. So in a way it felt more like I was just something to look at, rather than someone to be visually engaged in some way.
Citizen Erased Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 I can't speak for all women, but if I can't stop myself from looking at someone then I am very attracted, and probably interested.
wizer Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Ah, isn't it just great to be back in the dating scene? A place where you never thought you'd be...and the skills are rusty... All you can do is make it a point to pay attention to her, strike up a conversation with her when you see her. The good thing is that you will be seeing her on a regular basis because of the swimming lessons, so there is an opportunity for something to develop. You aren't forced to make a move just yet.
Trialbyfire Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 I agree. What's to lose? Ask her about her thoughts about the progress of your daughter's lessons since this is something of interest, particularly to yourself. A very much win/win proposition, no?
Author alterego1234 Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 You people are great. Yeah, I'm rusty. The last time I asked someone to date (prior to about a week ago; another story, another girl) other than my wife was in...lessee...1986. It's a little awkward chatting a girl up with one's 5 year old daughter around -- feel the need to set a good example, even now -- and with my religious beliefs that I outlined on another thread -- and this swimming teacher looks nearly young enough to be my daughter. But all that is just more fear, I think. I'll probably chat her up next lesson. Unfortunately, I'll only have one more chance; due to my custody schedule my ex will be taking our daughter to the other lessons.
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