lexi29 Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 those who've recently gone thru a break up- how are you coping? What do you find helps with the loss? together 3 years Its been a month since he told me he was going to ask me to marry him 9 days since he told me he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore 4 days since he told me it was over its been a week since I've seen him a week since we slept together 2 days since I got all my stuff from his place 2 days since he last called me (and probably the last time he ever will since he was so angry) 3 days since he told me I can never see his son again 3 days since I found out he already has someone new. I've lost 5 lbs, couldn't eat or sleep for the past week. Cried every day I packed up anything that reminds me of him (and there's a lot of stuff!) and put it in the back of my closest. Threw away some of the stuff he gave me but kept the pictures and letters and cards. Refuse to look at them though. I know he's with someone else and don't want him back. But I still miss him and what we had together. I'm trying to pick myself up and move on, I don't cry as much these last two days. But every once in awhile a memory of him or something we did together or of his son who I loved catches me off guard and sends me crashing back down. I'd like to think the worst is over but I'm sure it hasn't even started. How is everyone else handling the loss?
buckdawg Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 totally sucks...i feel ya. who knows what the reasoning is and who really cares? he is who he is and we can't do anything about that. the only thing you have control of is you. the pain passes gradually day by day. even if you have a bad day it's still going away. remember always that him leaving is no way a reflection on you but rather him. it's HIS problem! what you can do now is reflect on yourself. you've been with him for 3 years. in some small way this is a blessing. take the time to now to do whatever you want!! find out things you like to do. it's ok to be sad and mournful, that's natural. what we have to do is realize it's only a part of the healing and to not let it get us down. grieve, accept it and move on. my wife moved out a month ago with the kids...talk about rough. cried that night. but it wasn't feeling sorry for myself, it was a sad acceptance of what had happened. it's all part of the process. you can do it! just keep plugging away!!
MattyTee Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 It's difficult Lexi *hugs* I found that in the early days for me I couldn't listen to what people told me I had to do. I made it through by making one promise to myself each night of something positive I would do the next day. In my case it was go for a run or some sort of exercise. I would then have to try and go on auto-pilot, telling my brain step-by-step what to do. Get up, have a shower, brush teeth. Try living in each moment rather than letting my mind go back and forth. It's not easy - no one will ever tell you that. Everyone will also say that "time heals" which is true, but hard to hear. I find other things to help cope now. I do some exercise every day, I write a journal every day - often just go and sit in a cafe by myself for an hour or so. I come on here I let myself cry when I need to. I'm starting to do some more pro-active things like joining classes in the evenings - that way I get out and have less time to think. I talk to people ... and I find that helps a lot. My heart goes out to you.
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