Woggle Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Are you stuck in your misogynistic moment? Is it a glorious place to be? Do you enjoy being a victim? No because I am not feeling the urge to take it out on my wife but I am not blind to reality. Look up the stats because they speak for themselves.
Trialbyfire Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 No because I am not feeling the urge to take it out on my wife but I am not blind to reality. Look up the stats because they speak for themselves. Don't deny that you do sometimes want to take it out on your wife. It's like you sit there and say to all the women in the world "It's all your fault that I have a twisted perception of women. Feel sorry for me."
Woggle Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Don't deny that you do sometimes want to take it out on your wife. It's like you sit there and say to all the women in the world "It's all your fault that I have a twisted perception of women. Feel sorry for me." I don't feel like I have a twisted perception of women. I look at the facts around and come to these conclusions.
Pyro Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I don't feel like I have a twisted perception of women. I look at the facts around and come to these conclusions. Where do you get these facts? Your own experience doesn't imply to everyone else and that women are evil message board is not accurate.
Trialbyfire Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 I don't feel like I have a twisted perception of women. I look at the facts around and come to these conclusions. Your conclusions are twisted. You spew so much filth about women that is so far removed from reality it drives me nuts, sometimes. Get real. Judge each "person" on an individual basis. There are people in this world that are worthwhile to allow close and others who aren't. That's as far as it goes. Neither gender is completely innocent. Both are human. Live it, learn it and breath it.
Pyro Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Your conclusions are twisted. You spew so much filth about women that is so far removed from reality it drives me nuts, sometimes. Get real. Judge each "person" on an individual basis. There are people in this world that are worthwhile to allow close and others who aren't. That's as far as it goes. Neither gender is completely innocent. Both are human. Live it, learn it and breath it. Bravo! Now back to our regularly sceduled program.
amaysngrace Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 I read a book a while ago about commitment-phobes. I am a woman in my 30's who's one. Anyway the main point of the book was that people with this mentality will choose partners knowing full-well that there is something that they find unacceptable to themselves. It's like the guy who will only marry a Jewish woman but only dates gentiles. When the gentile wants more and suggests marriage the guy can flee knowing that she doesn't live up to his standards. I do this too. When my relationship makes me too close for comfort I have several things about my BF that I can turn to so I can completely talk myself out of liking him. It doesn't matter if there are 100 things about him that I absolutely love and admire. It's those two or three things that I can either accept or not accept that provide me with the barrier to say good-bye to him forever. I'm not saying that this is true for all commitment phobes, but it seems to be the norm.
jcster Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 THis statement above is a perfect example of how little women know about men, and how much you need to listen and learn .. Man stay married because MEN want to honor their vows and commitments . No...MEN stay married because they want sex 3 times a week and breakfast every day. Oh...and their laundry done.
jcster Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Why do you think that YOU know why men stay married. THis statement above is a perfect example of how little women know about men, and how much you need to listen and learn .. Man stay married because MEN want to honor their vows and commitments . Men stay married for 3 squares
Woggle Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Men stay married for 3 squares Is this is why I eating good when I was single. I can feed myself perfectly fine so you are wrong here.
jophil28 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 You keep saying that 75% of divorces are filed by women. If that is true, then I am sure that a huge chunk of that percent is due to the guy physically or emotionally abusing her or because he cheated on her. So if that is the case, then why is it so bad that they file a majority of the time? It takes strength and courage to file for divorce and pretty much everyone is attracted to a strong-willed man or woman. You are purely speculating about why women file 75% of the time. You do not know why. I could equally speculate that they do so because they lack relationship conflict resolving skills, are immature and unrealistic in their expectations and lack endurance and have little tolerance for inconvenience. Come to think of it - that is much more likely than your 'theory'.
jophil28 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I It doesn't matter if there are 100 things about him that I absolutely love and admire. It's those two or three things that I can either accept or not accept that provide me with the barrier to say good-bye to him forever. I think that we were married once , weren't we ?
Woggle Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I notice that women when they were with a scumbag like an abuser or a cheater they will put up with all types of mistreatment and nobody can convince them to leave this man because they are in love. The worse a man treats a woman the more she loves him. With a good man that treats them well they will pick apart the slightest most minute imperfection and start resenting the hell out of him for it. They see his weakness and they will use it against him.
uniqueone Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I could equally speculate that they do so because they lack relationship conflict resolving skills, The majority of those who read books and articles on relationships as well as post on relationships forums are women. That shows they (1) hold it in high importance and (2) want to work at problems that arise. are immature and unrealistic in their expectations Expecting honesty, loyalty and and respect aren't immature and shouldn't be unrealistic. and lack endurance and have little tolerance for inconvenience. This comment about women lacking endurance and having little tolerance for inconvenience.....carry a baby for nine months, go through labor and then get back with me on that.....
Woggle Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Reading Cosmo and reading whatever book Oprah or Dr Phil tells you to read does not equate to relationship skills. A man giving your average woman honesty, loyalty and respect is often a quick ticket to divorce court and the I love but I am not in love with you speech A won't spak on a woman giving birth but emotionally women tend to be very unstable and freak out if things are less than 100% perfect 100% of the time.
uniqueone Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Reading Cosmo and reading whatever book Oprah or Dr Phil tells you to read does not equate to relationship skills. I'm sure you're learning far better relationship skills in Sports Illustrated and Hustler...... A won't spak on a woman giving birth but emotionally women tend to be very unstable and freak out if things are less than 100% perfect 100% of the time. First off....English please.... "if things are less than 100% perferct 100% of the time." ???? Maybe it's that things have gotten down to 10% but you've failed to notice.
Trialbyfire Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Reading Cosmo and reading whatever book Oprah or Dr Phil tells you to read does not equate to relationship skills. A man giving your average woman honesty, loyalty and respect is often a quick ticket to divorce court and the I love but I am not in love with you speech A won't spak on a woman giving birth but emotionally women tend to be very unstable and freak out if things are less than 100% perfect 100% of the time. With this attitude, sooner or later, you will sabotage any relationship you are in. It's pretty easy to prophesize doom and gloom, thus reacting in a negative highly emotional manner, when issues arise or a relationship is imperfect.
Woggle Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I don't need a book or talk show to tell me how deal with things in my marriage. The people who write these books don't know me or my wife so how can they judge us and properly assess the situation. If I don't notice of the relationship is 90% bad that would mean she has some communication problems.
serial muse Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Are you stuck in your misogynistic moment? Is it a glorious place to be? Do you enjoy being a victim? I actually think that's exactly what's at the heart of the recent "men's movement." I think that many of the white men in the movement feel like every other group has had the chance to claim victim status, and they're feeling left out. It's funny, because while I can certainly understand why "white men" who've done absolutely nothing wrong to other "groups" might resent being cast as the bad guys in various situations, choosing to feel victimized is still a choice, and seems a bit hypocritical, given the resentment. But, whatcha gonna do? Emotions often trump rationality - even for some men who like to think the reverse about themselves, it would seem. IMO, the best way to go is to treat people as individuals, as you said in a different post, TBF. And I do think Woggle might take a page out of his own book, as far as feeling that men are maligned and getting furious about it. If you know it doesn't apply to you, Woggle, then no one's talking about you so you shouldn't take it personally. Right? /TJ I'm in my mid-30s and I'm dating a man who's in his 40s. I think he has some commitment issues, yes, (this is based on his own words as much as my observations of him) but since I'm not ready to make big life decisions either at the moment, we're not at a make-or-break point. We've been together for a year, and recently, talks about the future have come up (BTW, I have never brought them up - this was him), in which he acknowledged that he feels fear about making any big life decisions such as job changes, kids, marriage, etc. He knows that I do want kids, if it's physically possible, and that I'm ultimately looking for a long-term commitment. So when he admitted those things (which I think were hard for him to admit) he also made a point of saying that it has nothing to do with me, and that he does NOT want to break up with me at all and he's hoping this won't scare me off. And I said that I understand that, and that I'm not ready to make those long-term decisions right now, either, so there's no pressure to decide tomorrow. I think for us it'll just be determined when one of us feels that it's important to decide. And yeah, it'll probably be me wanting to decide before he does. But who knows? I'm just going with my gut for now, and my gut feels good about where things are and where it looks like they're going. I suppose I'm feeling philosophical about it - when the time comes to decide, if he's still not ready and doesn't think he will be, then I'll just have to figure it out then. I don't know if that answered your question, mirac, but feel free to ask me to explain myself better.
Trialbyfire Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I don't need a book or talk show to tell me how deal with things in my marriage. The people who write these books don't know me or my wife so how can they judge us and properly assess the situation. If I don't notice of the relationship is 90% bad that would mean she has some communication problems. It's up to the individuals whether they can learn from other peoples' experiences. Keep in mind that many of these books are written by professionals. I also have difficulties with assorted high profile relationship "gurus" but then, I prefer to self-analyze or to get an individualized analysis by using a professional. Having said that, LS is a great way to get many opinions, therefore, hopefully an opportunity to not get trapped in any deeply entrenched negative thought patterns. It's impossibly easy to retain cynical attitudes and oh, so difficult to always look to the positive. The healthy way is to try to balance the two extremes, therefore, not risking blindly but also, not attempting to apply cookie cutter mentality to all situations.
Trialbyfire Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 choosing to feel victimized is still a choice, and seems a bit hypocritical, given the resentment. This sums it up nicely. You can be a victim or you can be proactive in your life. In being a victim, you continually feed your own unhappiness.
Woggle Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Also many of these relationship experts are not as good at applying their great wisdom to their own lives. I think DR Phil is on his third marriage and Oprah has never been married so what can they tell me about something they have either failed at or never experienced for themselves. Dr Phil also has a let's always blame the man attitude.
serial muse Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Also many of these relationship experts are not as good at applying their great wisdom to their own lives. I think DR Phil is on his third marriage and Oprah has never been married so what can they tell me about something they have either failed at or never experienced for themselves. Dr Phil also has a let's always blame the man attitude. Dr. Phil knows who buys his books. Treating people as individuals still seems to me like the most rational way to go, rather than hate-mongering, whether it comes from Dr. Phil or from rabble-rousers on the internet. Just sayin'.
uniqueone Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Also many of these relationship experts are not as good at applying their great wisdom to their own lives. I think DR Phil is on his third marriage and Oprah has never been married so what can they tell me about something they have either failed at or never experienced for themselves. Dr Phil also has a let's always blame the man attitude. Why do you think of Dr. Phil and Oprah as the only relationship advice givers that there are? I've never actually watched Dr. Phil nor do I care to and I haven't watched Oprah in at least 10 years. Believe it or not, some people have sources beyond those ones.
RecordProducer Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I think DR Phil is on his third marriage Really? That's hilarious! I don't know how the guy looks like, but I figured who he is from what people on LS and I see his how-to books in Barnes & Nobles. I really, really, really think that I have the potential to make millions on books and TV shows if I only decided to pursue a psychology degree. I would just need to have my values and decency surgically removed. The reason why I am saying this is because 99.99% of these relationship experts are full of sh*t and full of $$$. Somehow I see the connection as causal.
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