xsianx Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 constantly be checking out personal profiles I have on the internet, when I went NC two weeks ago? I wont go into detail, lets just say I woke up and saw the light....but Ive noticed him showing up a few times, as having read my profiles, viewed my photographs, etc. WTF??
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 He's curious. MM tend to sniff around for a variety of reasons, and in quite a few different ways long after you cut them loose, or they cut you loose.
LakesideDream Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Could also be that it's a form of communication. Viewing profiles, pictures etc. is sending you the message that he's thinking about you.
PoshPrincess Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Could also be that it's a form of communication. Viewing profiles, pictures etc. is sending you the message that he's thinking about you. Agreed. And because you're nc this is the only contact he can have with you. I think this is fairly normal in most relationships, not just mm/ow ones. I drive through the area where exmm works and the only thing I would see is him also driving along in HIS car, but it still makes me feel close to him. I've never really understood it!
OpenBook Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 He misses you. He's human!! Unfortunately, it doesn't make up for the reason(s) why you went NC in the first place. Ain't love grand.
imstunned Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 He misses you - I'd agree. Wants to know if you are moving on - he cant - he is in the same situation, you are free.
Author xsianx Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 Thanks ladies, much appreciated. He will be aware that I know hes viewing my profiles, photos, etc, because whenever our profiles are checked out, we are informed of who checked us out. Maybe he is communicating that he misses me/is thinking about me. But you are right OpenBook, it doesnt make up for the various reasons why I called things off with him. Hed also hurt me badly and what he did in my eyes was unforgivable. Theres no going back. No way am I going to allow myself to cave.
frannie Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 ... so that you'll know he's thinking about you, and you'll continue to think about him..? (that's my cynical old view anyway!) ... working, isn't it..?
Lizzie60 Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 constantly be checking out personal profiles I have on the internet, when I went NC two weeks ago? I wont go into detail, lets just say I woke up and saw the light....but Ive noticed him showing up a few times, as having read my profiles, viewed my photographs, etc. WTF?? He probably misses you.. and like to check your pictures and profile... It probably reminds him of the good times you had together and he just doesn't want to let go.
The Collector Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Is that a serious question? Seems like you know the answer and want other people to suggest it - he's thinking of you. Even if it's morbid curiosity to see if you have a new man, he's actually thinking of you. How exciting. Now will that enable you to justify your next move, which is forgiving him for whatever he did, and being emotionally open to a reconciliation? I'm betting... yes! Of course you will never trust a cheater - but I guess trust isn't a priority for you.
OpenBook Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Is that a serious question? Seems like you know the answer and want other people to suggest it - he's thinking of you. Even if it's morbid curiosity to see if you have a new man, he's actually thinking of you. How exciting. Now will that enable you to justify your next move, which is forgiving him for whatever he did, and being emotionally open to a reconciliation? I'm betting... yes! Of course you will never trust a cheater - but I guess trust isn't a priority for you. How kind of you to drop in and share your encouraging thoughts. For your information, the OP is quite on the right track, thank you very much -- it doesnt make up for the various reasons why I called things off with him. Hed also hurt me badly and what he did in my eyes was unforgivable. Theres no going back. No way am I going to allow myself to cave.
The Collector Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 If she was on the right track she wouldn't have started this thread.
frannie Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 FWIW I agree with The Collector that the OP is at least thinking in that direction. Even the statement of 'I won't... no chance... etc.' is admission that it's even a possibility. I don't agree at all that the OP is looking for reasons/excuses to break NC, at least not consciously. It is very very hard to stay NC... a daily battle, hourly in fact, especially in the early stages. I think admitting that you might crumble is important, because that way you have a chance of fighting the 'sudden' urge to contact at a weak moment. Stay strong xsianx ... remember all the reasons you're NC with him, even when it's hard and you feel sorely tempted. Try to take all means of contact with him out of the picture... even ones as emphemeral and convoluted as this being able to see when he's thinking of you can be detrimental to your resolve... take care.
Author xsianx Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 Now will that enable you to justify your next move, which is forgiving him for whatever he did, and being emotionally open to a reconciliation? I'm betting... yes! You are 100% wrong. Like I said in an earlier posting, he did something and said things that are totally unforgivable and the reason why I am so surprised that hes looking at my profiles, pics, is because I didnt think he'd cared that much about me, to want to look at them. I'm not looking at his profiles!! He's communicating that he's thinking about me, yes and naturally, I miss him, but doesn't mean that I am going to forgive and forget what he did and said, he can go to hell as far as I'm concerned!!
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 You're human xasianx, as we all are. And it's nice to know someone who you had a connection with is still thinking about you. I don't get this thing whereby NC means complete and utter block-out in your mind. Of course, you're going to think about him and probably vice versa. However, the reasons as to why he's thinking about you are where you could lose your footing... He may be just curious about you, and maybe see if YOU're still thinking about HIM... He may be encouraging YOU to think about HIM by knowing you'll see his profile trail He may be just thinking about you, nothing else Nobody knows...but if it is annoying you or reminding you or making it less easy for you, block him. That at least sends the right message that you no longer want anything to do with him.
Author xsianx Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 You're human xasianx, as we all are. And it's nice to know someone who you had a connection with is still thinking about you. I don't get this thing whereby NC means complete and utter block-out in your mind. Of course, you're going to think about him and probably vice versa. However, the reasons as to why he's thinking about you are where you could lose your footing... He may be just curious about you, and maybe see if YOU're still thinking about HIM... He may be encouraging YOU to think about HIM by knowing you'll see his profile trail He may be just thinking about you, nothing else Nobody knows...but if it is annoying you or reminding you or making it less easy for you, block him. That at least sends the right message that you no longer want anything to do with him. To be honest, I'd say he was probably just being nosy. I don't think he cared that much towards the end, if ever and if he did, he had a funny way of showing it. He will know I want nothing more to do with him, I made that very clear and I know he won't contact me directly. It doesn't bother me he's looking, just surprises me!
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