tommycapnpants Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Today my ex, Jen, and I said good bye for the last time. We had a beautiful lunch together on my school's campus. She was beautiful. On Sunday she leaves for India and will not be returning to Hawaii. I wanted to stop time during our last embrace. Our foreheads pressed together, noses touching. . . So, today, four months since the dissolution of us, I take my first steps towards the new. I must move on now. No more missing, no more longing. I must find happiness in my new life, my new self. There is no going back, only forward.
Bosiell Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Although you say you no more looking back. You should at least remember all the great times you must have had together and the memories will make you feel great inside, maybe not now but in the future. You parted on good terms and there were reasons for it. There is a lot to be said for that. Many on here including myself have parted in a confusing bitter and totally rejected way. Take heart from that. Anyway good luck Tommy. You sound like you have a good attitide.
Author tommycapnpants Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 Thanks for the note Bosiell. i definitely am thankful that we were able to part amicably. underlying all the pain right now are memories of the happiness she and i shared. i feel we are moving into a different form of love now. a love between friends, really close friends. though it may be dimmed as time passes, i find peace in knowing that in the end a bit of our love will always be there. so, thank you for reminding me of that. your words helped me to remember this. i wish you well
sao2 Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Good luck Tommy, You will be allright. Now you get to truly move forward. In a way we are lucky in that we don't really have to worry about running into our exes. Good luck and soon enough you will be looking into taking some other girls out.
Bosiell Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 You are welcome Tommy. And thanks for the wishes. Could do with a few today :/
Author tommycapnpants Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 hey sao thanks for the encouraging words again. we are lucky in a sense, i am only starting to realize that her leaving the island may be the best thing. it really is the only way for me to move on. how are you doing on your island? still planning on heading back to the mainland or are you going to try to find happiness again there? i still have moments when i feel completely consumed with the idea of leaving my island. but, i am trying my best to find peace here in the present. i remember when i was still in china i couldnt wait to get back here to face the music. i only realized now that as soon as i got to hawaii i began thinking about moving. i know to be happy i must be content with now. hey bosiell keep your head up. if you want to vent a little about your predicament feel free to rant on this thread, especially if it helps.
Bosiell Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 hey bosiell keep your head up. if you want to vent a little about your predicament feel free to rant on this thread, especially if it helps. Thanks Tommy. Did a lot of venting last nite, not a good day or nite for me. Feel like a lost a lot or progress for some reason. I am bit better today tho, bit more possitve etc. Only wish I could just stop thinking about her all the time, seems like I have made no progress in that respect, and that does concern me. Some days I can think of her and not be to bad, just accept it as almost habbit. Other days like yesterday I think about her and feel devasted again, WHY?? Hmm, I think I just vented. thanks tommy..
sao2 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I very much still plan to leave the island. These plans really have nothing to do with her except perhaps that the fact that she was unhappy in her situation and me being unhappy in my situation caused the relationship many problems. I have been planning to move back to the mainland since before we broke up and now I am moving forward with those plans. I am moving towards contentment in my present. I am a semi functioning human being now at least. I do see the GREAT things about being here, at the same time the VERY REASON I considered the island in the first place is missing in a way that I did not imagine. Good luck with your path to contentment. I do understand what you are saying about seeking contentment in the now rather than looking for a "quick fix", however it is stubborn to keep yourself in a situation that makes you unhappy simply because you feel that you should find contentment. I have met enough people that have been unhappy with island living to know that it is not for everybody.
sao2 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 Boisell, that happens to all of us. You are normal. Just take it one day at a time, little milestones. For example my first big milestone was the day I wished I didn't care anymore, as opposed to wishing she was back in my life. You need things to keep you busy. Once you start putting your mind to use thinking about other things it will get better. Another things I always do is look back on other relationships and realize just how "over them" I am. Then I just put this one in that same box. One day I just won't care anymore and all this pain will be but a memory.
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