Sweetcheripie Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Hello all! I'll try to be brief but give a little background. Broke up with the bf a week ago. I am totally done, I snooped found evidence he was cheating, he totally denied it and broke up with me because I snooped. Thing was he moved in a couple of months ago to "help me out" He was living in my guest bedroom ( I have kids and it was too soon and we thought it might be a good way to test the waters - dumb in hindsight). I found the "evidence" he was cheating about a month ago. At that point he had not paid anything to me so I said he needed to move out. Told him it was because he wasn't paying anything and that it just wasn't working out between us. He agreed that we moved in too fast and that we should just be friends until he moved out and then he would like to start dating me. He was so secretive and so many things weren't adding up I got a little scared he was a Narcisstic Psychopath and might just blow up if I wasn't nice. He never showed any signs of violence but he is huge and maybe I was panicking a little too much (too much Law and Order??) So I said I would give him til Oct. 1 but he needed to go. He said he meant to pay me but "just forgot" and he would find a place right away. Fast forward, last week, 10/1 has come and gone and he is still in my house so I asked lots of questions and he kept "forgetting" to go sign his new lease. It looked like he was going to try to sweet talk his way into staying indefinitely so I lost it. I told him I snooped, it was two cards from a girl he said was "just a friend" The cards were for a three month anniversary and six month ann. and were I love you baby, love waking up to you, kissing you etc and I can't wait to see where this leads us. So he said they did "sleep" together once in a while but she totally knows I'm his girlfriend and they are just friends and they have never had sex. Whatever. The good news is he got pissed that I snooped and packed several of his things immediately and moved out! He came back Sunday and got most of the rest of his stuff - except a car, misc. crap in the garage, an XBox that he was letting my son use and some furniture. He told me sunday that he won't have a place til Dec 1 (guess the other place fell through). He also left with my key! I think it is best that I have NO contact with this guy because I'm a huge softie and actually very gullible and stupid at times and up until now it has been easy to be mad - but my gut tells me he will be back soon and try to sweet talk me and I don't want him back but I will feel guilty and melancholy if he goes down that road and I would like to avoid that. So my question is - what should I do with the stuff, the key, and the mail? I don't want to be a bitch but I don't want his crap here. It bothers me. Especially the car! Also, I don't want to be paranoid but it is eerie having my key out there. I could change the locks but his stuff is still here, is it wrong to do that? He was always really respectful of the relationship with my kids and never once overstepped boundaries there (ie sleeping in his room, no flirting etc when they were around) He seemed to really like my kids and often would go out to play football with my son and his friends. So I don't think he would do anything to harm us and he probably really does need to just leave his stuff here until he is settled so am I just being petty and mean by not wanting it here?
carrotgirl Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Forget about the money. Tell him he has the weekend to get the rest of his things. Change the locks immediately. This is for your safety and your children's safety. Who knows who else has access to the keys he has to your house now. Don't tell him you are changing the locks. It's not his business and could potentially be difficult and possibly dangerous for you. Go to your local post and inform them he's no longer at your address and they should stop delivering his mail there. Put his stuff in his car. Have his car towed to a tow yard. Or, if necessary, call your local police and report an abandoned vehicle. They'll take care of it. Throw away whatever doesn't fit in the car. You're not being petty. Carrot
Author Sweetcheripie Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 Thanks Carrotgirl! I appreciate your opinion. I totally gave up on the money - told him when I asked him to move out that he could take whatever he owed me to put towards his new place. (When he moved in I thought he was well off - even though he is young he has a retirement income and has a good career but turns out he owes a lot of people money). I am changing the locks and the security code tomorrow.
Pentula77 Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Don't give up on the coin...I'd just call him and say dude "you've got to this weekend to come and get all the stuff...if you don't come and pick it up I'm just going to lock it in the car and leave it on the street then report it, please bring the moeny you owe me". The money is yours, get it back.
Recommended Posts