carolinaboy Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I just had a couple of questions I wanted opinions on..... My ex broke up with me and started seeing our derelict subletting roommate immediately. She wants to be friends with me (natch) but I can't give into it, mainly b/c my feelings arent platonic. It kills me that she was so noncommunicative and uncompromising in our relationship and now she's saving money to fly across the country to see this guy, after having already gone last month. I heard from the new guys oldest friend he was accused of rape before. It really unsettles me. I know it's none of my business, but it just hurts and plays over in my mind again and again. This is my question: Any theories as to why ex's become the partner you desired all along to the next person? Also, why cant she see all the warning signs with this guy? I am actually just really missed up that she's A) head over heels for someone else (obviously) but B) that he is a known scumbag. I know I must move on and these things should not be my concern, but I am having trouble letting go. Hearing news about this guy doesnt help.
melodymatters Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I am SO confused ! So SHE broke up with YOU and is now dating the loser roomate ? then who is she flying to see ? and which one is the identical twin ?
Author carolinaboy Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 my ex is the twin, the roommate/new bf was subletting and he moved to California. in our relationship she never would have flown across the country to see me. they've been dating 2 1/2 mos. and she's been over there once and is working overtime to go again. maybe she found love, I dunno. i just dont understand how ex's become the partner you always want them to be when they go to the next person. maybe its the fresh feeling I felt when I first met her and I just have to witness her go through it with someone else. She is compromising so much more for him than she ever did for me and it hurts. Maybe its b/c when we met I pursued her and in this case she pursued him. the biggest thing that bums me out is he's sketchy and he has a shady past. it shouldnt be my concern, i just wish i didnt know all the things i know about him. thinking of them together drives me nuts. cest la vie. the one thing that comforts me is knowing that her twin is going with her each time. i dont know why, but if she went out there just on her own and showed some true independence for a relationship, i would go nuts. ahhh this is bs.
melodymatters Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I know CB, it always sucks when they seem " so happy" and "everything is great" with the new person, but time has taught me that they will run into the same roadblocks with the next person as they did with you once the honeymoon period is over. So, just detach as much as possible and let her make her own mistakes. And if it DOES turn out to be true love, it was meant to be and she was the girl for him and not you.
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