overanalytical Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 My fiance and I have a new roommate, i believe i've mentioned him. he's lived with us for 3.5 weeks now and he's a great guy. super nice. single. just turned 26. basically my fiance and him are hanging out during teh day and doing some things around the house, my fiance gets up at normal hours and this guy D, gets up around 2pm or so. he stays up until 3am and my fiance has started staying up wtih him. we've never went to bed together during the week due to my work schedule but this is getting ridiculous. it's like my fiance is getting wrapped up in a 26 year old's life and thinking he is 26 (he's actually 29). granted neither have a job so they can do as they please and can stay up that late. but it's starting to come between my fiance and i. we have friends that own a bar and on sunday we watch football there, come home around 11 and i go to bed and my fiance stays up and watches tv, fine. that was our routine. both were happy with it. now we have D living with us he wants to go, stay until they close and hang out. i can't do that. my fiance knows that so we always make sure i'm home. now it's turning into my fiance and D are going by themselves AFTER i go to bed. its' starting to piss me off. i don't even know where i'm going with this. i just hate how our lives are flipped upside down now that we hvae D living with us. nothing is normal, nothing is routine, my fiance is even going out of town with a friend to have a tattoo fixed to represent mine and his wedding (in jamaica) but i'm not going. i don't get it. i wnat to be tehre and share it with him. i want him to look at it every day and say 'we were together' when he got it. D doesn't bother me as far as the person he is but now it's starting to hurt my relationship, and turn things upside down. my fiance doesn't even see it. and to top it all off. we have another guy coming from louisiana who has no place to stay for 4 days...so me nad 3 guys - 2 of which are single and horny. what do i do?
birdie Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 well this is a good opportunity for you to learn how to deal with changes in your relationship. this is not the last time that something happens that upsets the routine. what about when you have kids one day? that will upset the balance even more. there isn't a huge amount of information in your post but I'd say that you need to find a middle way that suits both you and your fiance. clearly you can't stop him being mates with the new room mate (I know you are not suggesting that) but at the same time you need to address what's bothering you. maybe what really bothers you is losing the routine, in that case perhaps you need to find stability in a different way
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