vivi Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 my soon to be ex is being an unbelievable prick about the settlement. I don't love him anymore...he was always unbelievably selfish (he didn't want to give me a stamp because he'd have to buy more sooner). We don't want to go to litigation but he's being a real scumbag. Our deal was that I'd use the settlement to help him buy ahouse to live in and I got the apartment back...i am being evicted from where I am now, in about two weeks. I own the house but he lives in it rent free.Now he is saying if he has to go to a nursing home he wants to rent it out and keep the money while I pay the taxes. He won't even consider giving me part of the money and he's saying if I don't agree he won't leave the apartment. I don'thave anywhere to live and I don't have any free cash to find another place.I hate him.
Melovator Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 You might have to go see a lawyer at the very least. Because it sounds like he's saying "You get nothing." and that's just not the way it works in reality. Maybe he's trying to 'haggle' with you- starting with you get nothing, and basically being a pr*ck until you cave and end up with a quarter of what you're entitled to. A lot of lawyers will do a first appointment free or cheap, at the very least it wouldn't hurt to get some idea of what the 'legal reality' of the situation is; which is always a much different thing from the 'emotional reality'.
alterego1234 Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 A step between do it yourselves and litigation is attorney-led mediation. You find an attorney (who can't represent either of you in the divorce and remains neutral) who will help you two mediate a settlement. My ex and I did this and it worked well. A skillful mediator will be able to handle the inherent power struggles that happen at this time, and will also be able to give each of you guidance of what the courts would see as reasonable and how the court might typically rule on something. They can also help you two by creatively identifying additional alternatives that might work better than what you've already thought of. There are also non-attorney mediators; they usually have a counseling background. I wouldn't recommend them as much. They are cheaper than an attorney mediator but don't provide as much insight into what the courts might do. Contact your local district courthouse and ask them for a list of court-appointed mediators; they should be able to help you.
Trialbyfire Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I own the house but he lives in it rent free. In most jurisdictions, what you bring into the marriage, is yours and doesn't need to be part of the settlement.
marsbars Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 In most jurisdictions, what you bring into the marriage, is yours and doesn't need to be part of the settlement. But in a lot things such as property and even retirement accounts become community property. Houses especially are tricky. Just cause his name isn't on the deed doesn't mean that it isn't half his through marriage. Also if he can show any financial contribution to said house it makes it even more his. Not that I am a lawyer, but It happened to my boss a year ago. He owned two houses, a primary and vacation. Had owned them for years. Got married, lasted a whole 2 years and she was entitled to 1/2 the value of both. He ended up having to sell them both to pay her off. Sux but is reality. Here it is a community property state so it is 50/50.
Trialbyfire Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 But in a lot things such as property and even retirement accounts become community property. Houses especially are tricky. Just cause his name isn't on the deed doesn't mean that it isn't half his through marriage. Also if he can show any financial contribution to said house it makes it even more his. Not that I am a lawyer, but It happened to my boss a year ago. He owned two houses, a primary and vacation. Had owned them for years. Got married, lasted a whole 2 years and she was entitled to 1/2 the value of both. He ended up having to sell them both to pay her off. Sux but is reality. Here it is a community property state so it is 50/50. Is this because the property or retirement fund wasn't 100% mortgage or debt free before they entered into the marriage or common-law relationship? I did quality my comment with the word "most" though.
Road Rage Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Someone remind me to never get married, puleeeaas:eek: Bitch slap me if you got too:sick:
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