shadowplay Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 You seem like an intelligent, level-headed woman, so I don't understand why you would consider doing this. Even if you got some money out of it would you really want to be part of some random, unknown photographer's cheap online portfolio...posing in tacky glamour shots? Personally I'd feel cheapened if I did this. I would also be pretty mortified if anyone I knew discovered them. I'd politely decline. Maybe if IMG Models offered you a contract or Steven Meisel asked to take your picture that'd be another story...
Author uniqueone Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 You seem like an intelligent, level-headed woman, so I don't understand why you would consider doing this. Even if you got some money out of it would you really want to be part of some random, unknown photographer's cheap online portfolio...posing in tacky glamour shots? Personally I'd feel cheapened if I did this. I would also be pretty mortified if anyone I knew discovered them. I'd politely decline. Maybe if IMG Models offered you a contract or Steven Meisel asked to take your picture that'd be another story... First it depends on what the photograph would be. Doesn't have to be like a Glamour Shot. And it doesn't have to be part of his online portfolio. I didn't know what in the heck he had in mind actually. And how do you know that it would be tacky? So would being photographed by photographers ever be considered acceptable in your opinion? Is a man wanting to photograph a woman always considered a bad thing?
melodymatters Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I think you, or somone on this thread, said that if it was a friend, an amatuer thing, it would be ok. I have done this and got some cute shots, helped out friends, and of course never posed nude. So, no, it is your comfort level. I guess since you don't "know" the guy, it makes it something you might want to think about MORE, but....... Someday your going to be an old hag, a few glamour shots or whatever to show the grandkids, whats the harm ?
shadowplay Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 First it depends on what the photograph would be. Doesn't have to be like a Glamour Shot. And it doesn't have to be part of his online portfolio. I didn't know what in the heck he had in mind actually. And how do you know that it would be tacky? So would being photographed by photographers ever be considered acceptable in your opinion? Is a man wanting to photograph a woman always considered a bad thing? I'm basing this on the online portfolio you linked to. I would only consider posing for a photographer who was really talented/tasteful or well-known. Ideally both. This guy's stuff looks tacky to me. I think anybody who propositions you based on a personal ad is unlikely to be either.
Author uniqueone Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 I'm basing this on the online portfolio you linked to. I would only consider posing for a photographer who was really talented/tasteful or well-known. Ideally both. This guy's stuff looks tacky to me. I think anybody who propositions you based on a personal ad is unlikely to be either. Well I woudn't have done it. I don't even liked to be photographed anyway...I'm not photogenic. But I don't believe that all photogs are sleazy and out to take advantage of women and I guess I didn't like that conclusion that was made so quickly of him.
shadowplay Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 But I don't believe that all photogs are sleazy and out to take advantage of women and I guess I didn't like that conclusion that was made so quickly of him. I don't either, but there are more sleazy photographers out there than non so you have to be careful.
Author uniqueone Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 I don't either, but there are more sleazy photographers out there than non so you have to be careful. BUT....how could they be sleazy with me when I'm the one who controls what I do or don't do? I mean...sure...they could be a sleazy photographer but I always have the ability to walk.
whichwayisup Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Have you spoken to any of the other models that he's taken pictures of? You may be in control of what you do, but he is in control of the actual pictures afterwards...And, until you're in the studio, while he's snapping away, you'd be surprised how easily girls (not saying you are, so please don't take that the wrong way) are manipulated into things and situations ...... If you go, take a friend with you. DO NOT GO ALONE. Better to be safe than sorry...
Author uniqueone Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 Have you spoken to any of the other models that he's taken pictures of? You may be in control of what you do, but he is in control of the actual pictures afterwards...And, until you're in the studio, while he's snapping away, you'd be surprised how easily girls (not saying you are, so please don't take that the wrong way) are manipulated into things and situations ...... If you go, take a friend with you. DO NOT GO ALONE. Better to be safe than sorry... Oh no worry....I'm not doing it. I'm not even emailing him anymore. My last email said "Just for fun? What a bummer. No thanks." But even if he HAD offered to pay me, I wouldn't. In fact, my smart aleck comment to him earlier in this whole thing was "Why are there no naked men pictures? Isn't that discrimination?" Nah....I'm way too "PRO" women not being seen as objects -- to be a part of something like that.
ItIs Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 OK, so it looks like the modeling thing is a dead issue. If you were to do the modeling (clothed or not), I'd simply suggest having someone (or more than one person) accompany you to the shoot. If he is professional, he'd have no problem with that, maybe even enlist them to help with the shoot. I didn't know if I liked his profile because he mentioned intimacy.Whoa, there. The #1 thing that keeps online profiles up in perpetuity is too much focus on minutiae. The "laundry list" grinds people to hamburger and spits them out. No wonder so many people have such poor results online. I'd say more than 90% of the people with whom I've been involved would not have so much as exchanged an email had we just encountered each other in online profiles.
Author uniqueone Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 Whoa, there. The #1 thing that keeps online profiles up in perpetuity is too much focus on minutiae. The "laundry list" grinds people to hamburger and spits them out. No wonder so many people have such poor results online. I disagree. I have good instincts and when intimacy is mentioned in a persons profile, it tells me a lot about them. Also, what do you consider poor results online? It's all in how you look at it. Would I have the possibility of meeting this many people if I wasn't online? No way. Therefore, being online is a plus even if it doesn't pan out with the people that I meet.
woodsfield Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 U1 i guess i started a lot of disention for this guy...for that, i apologize. my brother met his current gf on myspace, so i wasn't saying that all the people that try to meet others online are criminals. i was just letting you know that when someone asks another they barely know if they want to pose nude, to me, that is a little strange and VERY forward. now the guy could be a good professional, but use your good instincts. i would not do it.
Author uniqueone Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 U1 i guess i started a lot of disention for this guy...for that, i apologize. my brother met his current gf on myspace, so i wasn't saying that all the people that try to meet others online are criminals. i was just letting you know that when someone asks another they barely know if they want to pose nude, to me, that is a little strange and VERY forward. now the guy could be a good professional, but use your good instincts. i would not do it. Er....he didn't ask me to pose nude. I think this got a little misunderstood. He doesn't just photograph nudes.
ItIs Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 What I consider poor results is obvious from those profiles who are like wallpaper on whatever online matchmaking services. And those ones almost always have lots of little-bitty criteria. For example, there have been profiles I've noticed during a foray into online matchmaking, then come back for another foray a few years later, and that same profile is there. Then a couple years later I have another go, and she's still there, and often noticeably more angst-ridden. Some of these profiles fairly seethe with frustration. One who apparently nixed me after a few good message exchanges because of the municipality I lived in was there a few years later with a list of the upper-middle to upper class suburbs in which her match had to live. Some people even go so far as misinterpreting "affectionate" as "must have sex on the first date." Some people just might be a bit more open than others in their style of communication. If that doesn't suit you, I could well understand where you're coming from. Still, if it's only one word (or typo, misspelling, grammatical error, or what have you), you just might be sending "Mr. Right Enough" packing based on an unfounded assumption...
woodsfield Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Er....he didn't ask me to pose nude. I think this got a little misunderstood. He doesn't just photograph nudes. whoops! definete misunderstanding.
Author uniqueone Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 For example, there have been profiles I've noticed during a foray into online matchmaking, then come back for another foray a few years later, and that same profile is there. Then a couple years later I have another go, and she's still there, and often noticeably more angst-ridden. Some of these profiles fairly seethe with frustration. Waaaaait a minute here..... Your comment that she's STILL there.....was said with an undertone of "OMG...she's STILL out THERE! What's wrong with her?" I've got a lil surprise for ya.....if you're seeing HER still out there.....that means YOU'RE still out there TOO. See how that works? She's not the only one STILL out there. And there's nothing at all wrong with someone being still out there. Good for them that they're picky and don't just latch onto anyone just so that they're not alone. Some people just might be a bit more open than others in their style of communication. If that doesn't suit you, I could well understand where you're coming from. Still, if it's only one word (or typo, misspelling, grammatical error, or what have you), you just might be sending "Mr. Right Enough" packing based on an unfounded assumption... Actually, I gave him TOO much credit in my description of him previously. I mentioned that he slightly referred to intimacy in his profile. Well....just now I went back to reread his profile so that I could post part of it here and it's more than "slightly referred to". It's blatant. (now I'm shocked that I even responded to him at all! ) No...this isn't some typo.....I'm not someone who picks on every little nuance. I'm smart enough to know when I see intimacy indicated and when it's not. After rereading his profile just now, it definately IS. He wrote a very long profile and a lot of it is very good and says things that shows he's intelligent and puts a lot of thought into relationships. However....then he ruins it by this part.... You should know that I am open to talk about anything, literally. I feel that there is a time and place to talk about any subject that is on your mind and one should never be afraid to speak. This forum is no exception, so I hope I don’t offend anyone with the following comments, I just feel that it is important to be up-front and so many shy away from the topic of sex and yet it is such an integral part of a relationship. I like attention, playfulness; I enjoy sexuality as an intimate part of a relationship. It is fun to look, tease, play, touch, as a man a woman trust and enjoy each other’s differences. I had lunch with someone the other day and the topic of sex came into the conversation and she said it was a “A wife’s duty”….I think I left claw marks in the table grabbing for my keys… this was not a healthy approach to this aspect of life. I am very comfortable with who I am in life. I appreciate a woman that has a toy. I know that is a bold statement, but I appreciate that she is open to explore healthy sensations and enjoy her feelings. I know what I am looking for: I am looking for a woman that is REAL,.. One that is confident and comfortable with herself. Someone who is happy in blue jeans, an evening gown, or lingerie! I am simply a hard working man that is looking for commitment, a like mind, a passionate person – not asking for the world, just for an honest effort,… so, I am giving this a try. I look forward to hearing from you! See, it's that "I appreciate a woman that has a toy" comment that sorta clues you in that it's no typo.......... The strange part is when I tell them that I have a toy and that I'd like to bring it with me and then when I get to their house, I bring out Mr. Potatohead.....it always tends to kill the mood for some reason.....
Author uniqueone Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 whoops! definete misunderstanding. Well.....we'll call it even. I just reread his ad and he's no Mother Theresa..........
woodsfield Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Well.....we'll call it even. I just reread his ad and he's no Mother Theresa.......... o really?? how so??
Author uniqueone Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 o really?? how so?? I just posted it a few posts up ^^^
woodsfield Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 See, it's that "I appreciate a woman that has a toy" comment that sorta clues you in that it's no typo.......... yeah, i stopped reading there...the guy is forward about what he wants:confused: take a "care bear" instead. mr. potato head, in the name itself, would give this guy too many ideas.
Author uniqueone Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 yeah, i stopped reading there...the guy is forward about what he wants:confused: take a "care bear" instead. mr. potato head, in the name itself, would give this guy too many ideas. Good point! Besides....he might like Mr. Potatohead watching.....
Art_Critic Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 if you're seeing HER still out there.....that means YOU'RE still out there TOO. See how that works? She's not the only one STILL out there. ... Took the words right out of my mouth...
Author uniqueone Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 ... Took the words right out of my mouth... Ew..I'm sorry...hope I didn't nick a tonsil.......
ItIs Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 ItIs: For example, there have been profiles I've noticed during a foray into online matchmaking, then come back for another foray a few years later, and that same profile is there. Then a couple years later I have another go, and she's still there, and often noticeably more angst-ridden. Some of these profiles fairly seethe with frustration. uniqueone: Waaaaait a minute here..... Your comment that she's STILL there.....was said with an undertone of "OMG...she's STILL out THERE! What's wrong with her?" I've got a lil surprise for ya.....if you're seeing HER still out there.....that means YOU'RE still out there TOO. See how that works? She's not the only one STILL out there. What part of "foray" and "had another go" didn't you see in my post, uniqueone? I was only there for a few weeks at a time, separated by years. Of course, there's a slight chance these women had coincidentally made brief forays onto the site, but somehow I doubt it. Their ads hardly changed, except to correct a few spelling errors (which they would probably not tolerate from men) and diverge a bit further from giving themselves realistic chances of actually meeting someone who they might actually like if they were to meet him. A lot of people make the mistake of "asking someone for a relationship," rather than "asking them out for a date." Online matchmaking actually encourages this sort of thing by its very nature. "Speed dating" makes much more sense, because at least you can catch a "vibe" and look for positives when getting to know someone, instead of concentrating on negatives, and thereby eliminating just about everyone straight away... I do grant in this case that the "I appreciate a woman who has a toy" comment is a bit too much information. But you mentioned his bringing up intimacy, not bringing up "toys" as the "red flag"
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