baby-boo Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 been 5 days since he finished him. Did ok yesterday.. didnt cry ONCE.. today has been really hard... have had NC since it happened... but gave up 2day... this is so sad... please dont think im some kind of stalker.. but i jst needed to hear his voice... So i went on youtube to get an audio of people talking, turned it up high, and rang him on a withheld number (so he thought it was jst someone makin a mistake and not realising they rang him) Jst sat and listened to him sayin 'hello?' was even more upset because he sounded totally fine... not miserable or anything.. Should i ring him? just to talk? I feel like i cant keep NC up any longer...
datingmum Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Clever with the youtube thing! But NO! Don't ring! You will feel so much better if he rings you...
Author baby-boo Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 Clever with the youtube thing! But NO! Don't ring! You will feel so much better if he rings you... but will he ring me... i mean... people say it gets easier... but it feels like its getting worse... i need to tlk to him,, ask if he still feels the same...
wizer Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 You made an anonymous phone call to him, just to hear him say hello...and you didn't tell him who you were. Hmm...That's not right. Either call him up and tell him you just needed to hear his voice, or don't call him at all. I don't know the history, but if you decided to go no contact, you had a good reason for it. You knew it wouldn't be easy, and you only lasted 5 days. Try to use some restraint. It's like quitting a bad habit. At first it's not so bad, then it gets really hard, then gradually it gets easy. If you slip up and go back to the bad habit, you need to start all over again.
Author baby-boo Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 You made an anonymous phone call to him, just to hear him say hello...and you didn't tell him who you were. Hmm...That's not right. Either call him up and tell him you just needed to hear his voice, or don't call him at all. I don't know the history, but if you decided to go no contact, you had a good reason for it. You knew it wouldn't be easy, and you only lasted 5 days. Try to use some restraint. It's like quitting a bad habit. At first it's not so bad, then it gets really hard, then gradually it gets easy. If you slip up and go back to the bad habit, you need to start all over again. i didnt want to go NC, he asked me not to contact him, and i cant do it...
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 awesome signature, wizer, never heard that one! don't make those calls to him anymore, babyboo. it's verging on creepy, almost stalkerish behavior. even if there's noise in the background on a withheld number, don't you think he has an idea that it's you behind it somehow?
PrincessBOT Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Hi, Do not call him, in the end you will feel worse. Think about how you feel now and imagine feeling worse. The fear of feeling any worse hopefully will stop you. Try this, pick up a phone, not a cell phone, but a land line phone, dial one digit so the dial tone stop. It,s like there is someone on the other line. Then start talking as if he is on the other line. Say what you would say if he were on the phone and think about how he will respond (probably the same way when you dialed him and listend to him say hello). My experience with doing this has been hearing what the words will actually sound like, (pathetic) and realizing this wasn't going to change anything. Then relief that I didn't actually make the call. Good Luck. P.S. Also, try calling someone else.
quankanne Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 you can do it, and you will, if you just allow yourself. and no, it's not strange, what you did. After Mr. I Thought He Was The One dumped me in college, I used to read the obits obsessively in the Corpus paper, figuring if I didn't see his name there, that meant he was okay. Even creeped me out once I got past my obsession with him! however, about 10 years ago, my best friend mailed me a link in which the guy made the local police blotter for drunken driving ... anyhow, you can be strong if you allow it. Right now, you're focusing on how much you miss and want him, and that's a very normal thing. Just remember, you can grow from this if you choose to do so.
Author baby-boo Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 awesome signature, wizer, never heard that one! don't make those calls to him anymore, babyboo. it's verging on creepy, almost stalkerish behavior. even if there's noise in the background on a withheld number, don't you think he has an idea that it's you behind it somehow? Stalkerish? My boyfriend has finished me... i loved him more than i ever thought possible... and suddenly the most important person in my life never wants to see me again.. i am lonely and lost... i jst needed to here his voice.. there is nothing stalkersih about that. I feel like no one understands me.. i read stories on here about other people feeling broken hearted, but.. still i feel totally alone.
wizer Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 i am lonely and lost... i jst needed to here his voice.. there is nothing stalkersih about that. Your behavior defines stalking.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Stalkerish? My boyfriend has finished me... i loved him more than i ever thought possible... and suddenly the most important person in my life never wants to see me again.. i am lonely and lost... i jst needed to here his voice.. there is nothing stalkersih about that. I feel like no one understands me.. i read stories on here about other people feeling broken hearted, but.. still i feel totally alone. there is nothing stalkerish about your feelings. you have a right to your feelings. your actions are stalkerish. honestly, i'm not picking on you. but calling someone under the pretense that it's not you, going to lengths to provide background noise and hiding your number, that's stalker beavior.
PrincessBOT Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 I would like to interject with the dfinition: to pursue obsessively and to the point of harassment — stalk·er noun Although it was stalking, the feelings that provoked it are understandable and many people can empathize. The key is find a way or ways to prevent the feeling from being acted on, especially when he told you not to contact him. There is no choice, if he doesn't want you to contact him it doesn't matter thayou feel you can't not contact him, you have to. Please don't make yourself feel worse and keep calling him and possibly getting rejected. See if you can get through this hour, the next hour, then today, then the next and the next. Also, try calling someone else or keep posting here.
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