lexi29 Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 See my other thread for the full story. but basically my bf of 3 years ended it with me on monday and he is seeing someone else. He wasn't seeing her till he first broke it off with me he started seeing her last friday slept with unsuspecting me on saturday (lied to her about it but now she knows) and now he's saying I can't even see his son again. (his son is very attached to me). The last three years have had our ups and downs but the last 3 months was great in my eyes. He had talked about getting engaged three weeks ago!! How does one go from that to this so quickly? if he was waiting around for this other woman (an ex of his) to date him why string me along in the process/ Why encourage me to get as close as I can to his 8 yr old son? why make plans for our future while he's planning his exit? And why after deciding he wants to be with the other woman and promising never to hurt her, that he will be the best bf to her why would he turn around one day later and sleep with me (and he was totally the one who initiated it and I didn't know about her at the time) First I'm sad, I cry I am so depressed. this goes on till I found out about HER. Then Im relieved to be done with him. Happy that he's her problem now. Happy that he cheated on her after only two days! that says a lot for the future of their relationship. And at this point I feel I don;t ever want him back. If she leaves him he can't go running to me. I wont' be there. But then after the anger leaves, I miss him. Miss his son. Miss then like crazy. can't get thru lunch at work without crying. Can't stop thinking of all the good times. That less than 2 weeks ago we were sitting on the couch like a little family- his son had his arms around me and my bf was holding my hand. So sweet so happy. Such memories. gone. He has somoene else now and I'm here with this huge void where they used to be. I've tried filling it with friends and family but it makes me sick to be aroudn people. I hate hearing their voices. It makes me angry to see others happy. I feel sorry for myself. Then I feel grateful knowing I'm free of him and what he could have done to me. We could have gotten married and he probably would have cheated on me if he hadnt' already. I mean if he is going to cheat on his new girlfriend after only two days (and its not like i tried to seduce him- it was the other way around) then he is a serial cheater. So I keep going from devastated, to missing him, to angry, to relieved and back again. when does this stop!!
Bosiell Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Your mixed up emotions are very natural. Believe me everyone on this board has been there at some stage. It is very very difficult to cope with as you are finding out. Unfortunately there is no quick fix, no switch to flick. You are going to have to ride them out as best you can, only time will heal. You can help of course with being as strong and as positive as you can be, but even then you will have some very low days, expect it and roll with it Lexi. I believe when possible do not try to run away from what you are feeling, your fears, your doubts, your confusion. Turn around and meet them head on, try to understand them and see them as nothing pyhsical, just thoughts passing through your mind. The more you do this, the less effect they will have on you each time they crop up, again and again and again! Of course it will be difficult and will hurt like hell. Deep breaths and take care. x
Newtotheblogthing Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Hi Lexi29. I can relate to your post. My ex and I were together 3 years and broken up for a few months but the lines were very blurry.. he finally told me that he was seeing someone and then I found out she was his next door neighbor. He has since slept with me few times while having this new "girlfriend". I know I shouldn't have but I didn't take their relationship seriously.. or whatever excuse.. Anyway, I fluctuate like you do in terms of emotions and feelings. I wonder how i became like this and why I can't be happy she now has to deal with him. She doesn't know what he did and the vindictive part of me would love to somehow "let her know" but that's cruel.. It makes me angry, then sad and often I obsess about it. Why do they get to be happy etc.. It makes me crazy!! I keep hoping I will wake up one day and not even think about it. In the meantime I haven't called or sent any texts in a week. It makes it easier but just like you I want it to stop!! It's still so fresh for you so give it some time! Hang in there. It's a roller coaster but it WILL get better!! I would suggest NC.. I made the mistake of trying to hang on.. and it has only set me back. I am not sure what your situation it like now..
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