PoshPrincess Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Hi guys, not here for advice, a rant or such other.....I just want to say that it's MMs birthday today and one year ago I was a complete mess, posting on here about what to do, should I contact him, etc? Well, a year on and obviously I am NOT over him totally (otherwise I wouldn't be posting this at all, would I?) but, although I haven't reached indifference by a long way, I DO feel I have moved on somewhat. By this time last year I had caved in and contacted him, but this year there is NO WAY. I feel empowered by not doing so as I know he will be expecting to hear from me. I even spent a couple of hours in the same pub as him last week and didn't speak one word to him. It felt SO good! Don't get me wrong, I wanted to more than anything, but knew how sh*t it would have made me feel. I always knew that but the difference is that I don't put myself through it anymore! So, to those of you who find nc near on impossible, it really does get easier!!!!!! x x x
frannie Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 That's good to know, PP. Congratulations for being strong
Meaplus3 Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Hi guys, not here for advice, a rant or such other.....I just want to say that it's MMs birthday today and one year ago I was a complete mess, posting on here about what to do, should I contact him, etc? Well, a year on and obviously I am NOT over him totally (otherwise I wouldn't be posting this at all, would I?) but, although I haven't reached indifference by a long way, I DO feel I have moved on somewhat. By this time last year I had caved in and contacted him, but this year there is NO WAY. I feel empowered by not doing so as I know he will be expecting to hear from me. I even spent a couple of hours in the same pub as him last week and didn't speak one word to him. It felt SO good! Don't get me wrong, I wanted to more than anything, but knew how sh*t it would have made me feel. I always knew that but the difference is that I don't put myself through it anymore! So, to those of you who find nc near on impossible, it really does get easier!!!!!! x x x Posh, You have come such a long way:) I am so proud of you! The fact that you did not speak to him in the pub, say's just how far you have come girl! Big Hug's. AP:)
forbidden fruit Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Posh, You have come such a long way:) I am so proud of you! The fact that you did not speak to him in the pub, say's just how far you have come girl! Big Hug's. AP:) I can't wait to get there- good for you!!!!
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 You've come a long way! Keep that up and by next year, when his birthday rolls around again, you won't even notice.
Lyssa Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Yaayy, PP! You have in you, babes... Keep it up!
overandout Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 That's good news PP. To be in the same place as him, and not talk to him shows strength and determination. Why should you settle for being his side dish. You have enough self respect so as not to let this man jerk you around. It does get easier and you will look back and think why did you basically let him into your life when he was offering you so little. The tragedy would be if you were still in the affair, as I doubt things would have changed. You could see that and moved on sooner rather than later.
OpenBook Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Hi guys, not here for advice, a rant or such other.....I just want to say that it's MMs birthday today and one year ago I was a complete mess, posting on here about what to do, should I contact him, etc? Well, a year on and obviously I am NOT over him totally (otherwise I wouldn't be posting this at all, would I?) but, although I haven't reached indifference by a long way, I DO feel I have moved on somewhat. Oh, OK. How old is he, Posh? You don't have to answer that. "Happy Birthday MF!!!!" :D
OpenBook Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Oh, OK. How old is he, Posh? You don't have to answer that. "Happy Birthday MF!!!!" :D P.S. Since you have so gracefully moved on, I'm taking potshots at him for ya! You Go Girl!!!
OWoman Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Hi guys, not here for advice, a rant or such other.....I just want to say that it's MMs birthday today That makes him a Libran, right? They do seem disproportionally A-prone, at least in my experience and what I've heard of around (and Geminis! Both air signs... supposed to be good communicators? ) Happy birthday, PP - hope you gave yourself a nice present, you deserve it!
Ocean-Blue Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Congrats on sticking to your guns. I admire that greatly. I've always been one to give into my feelings (no matter what the situation). To have enough resolve not to give in...now that's admirable.
imstunned Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 I'm new on the boards but congratulations. I have to say it fills me with dread to think I may be on here for my MM's next birthday (he was never really mine) - but I guess it all takes time. I really admire you for not caving in. It takes alot of strength (I know as I'm trying not to cave right now!!). x
Author PoshPrincess Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 Thanks to all of you for your words of support - and those of you who aren't at this stage yet, it WILL happen! I'm glad I logged on as I was having a weak moment this morning and was tempted to send him belated wishes. However, I DID NOT give in. Yay! Oh, OK. How old is he, Posh? You don't have to answer that. "Happy Birthday MF!!!!" :D Love it!!!! Take as many pot shots as you like. He's 41. Maybe I was his midlife crisis?!
Author PoshPrincess Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 That makes him a Libran, right? They do seem disproportionally A-prone, at least in my experience and what I've heard of around (and Geminis! Both air signs... supposed to be good communicators? ) Happy birthday, PP - hope you gave yourself a nice present, you deserve it! First Libran male I've ever really known so I had no others to compare him to. I have since read up a fair bit on them and I know that they are attention seekers and love to flirt - both things I recognised in mm. V weak too. That figures!
IWALH Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Hi guys, not here for advice, a rant or such other.....I just want to say that it's MMs birthday today and one year ago I was a complete mess, posting on here about what to do, should I contact him, etc? Well, a year on and obviously I am NOT over him totally (otherwise I wouldn't be posting this at all, would I?) but, although I haven't reached indifference by a long way, I DO feel I have moved on somewhat. By this time last year I had caved in and contacted him, but this year there is NO WAY. I feel empowered by not doing so as I know he will be expecting to hear from me. I even spent a couple of hours in the same pub as him last week and didn't speak one word to him. It felt SO good! Don't get me wrong, I wanted to more than anything, but knew how sh*t it would have made me feel. I always knew that but the difference is that I don't put myself through it anymore! So, to those of you who find nc near on impossible, it really does get easier!!!!!! x x x We seem to be in the same boat! My xMM's birthday was just a few days before yours (yet another Libra, haha) and I feel immensely different than I did just one year ago. I did wish him a happy birthday last year but I haven't spoken a word to him this time since the end of June (when he told me he loved me and would come down and get me whenever I wanted him to and then said he would call the next day and never did). I didn't even think about him on his birthday this year... but that was probably because I have been ultra-busy and out of town for the past week. It was really hard not to contact him in the beginning, especially considering how our last conversation went. But something inside told me this really was the end and even though he had left me with false hope during our last conversation, it was fake. I have since realized it was all fake. I have no idea who the man that led me on for over 2 years really is and I never will. It was a bittersweet realization. Since then I have been the happiest and have felt the most peace I have ever felt in my entire life. I have been doing so much with my life and I have become extremely motivated to succeed in everything I do. What it boils down to is that everything really does happen for a reason. Congratulations! It's really refreshing to know there is someone who is doing as well as I am in this kind of situation! <3
IWALH Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Thanks to all of you for your words of support - and those of you who aren't at this stage yet, it WILL happen! I'm glad I logged on as I was having a weak moment this morning and was tempted to send him belated wishes. However, I DID NOT give in. Yay! Love it!!!! Take as many pot shots as you like. He's 41. Maybe I was his midlife crisis?! Haha, my exMM is 43 and I have thought the same thing before!! He is 20 years my senior.
Author PoshPrincess Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 Haha, my exMM is 43 and I have thought the same thing before!! He is 20 years my senior. Hehe, definitely a midlife crisis! They DO like a younger woman, don't they? When I was your age I had a fling with a guy who was 29 years older than me - can you imagine?!!!! It was never an EA and no love was mentioned on either side. He is still having a midlife crisis now all these years later I think. He still tries to contact me from time to time. He catches me out now and again but mostly I ignore the phone if I recognise the number. They're quite sad really, aren't they?! Anyway, IWALH, you've done brilliantly. Much better than me as I still thought about MM on his bd far too much. Still, I hope to be where you are in the not too distant future. Thanks for your support x
White Flower Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 You go girl! And hang in there Imstunned. Best of luck!
IWALH Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Hehe, definitely a midlife crisis! They DO like a younger woman, don't they? When I was your age I had a fling with a guy who was 29 years older than me - can you imagine?!!!! It was never an EA and no love was mentioned on either side. He is still having a midlife crisis now all these years later I think. He still tries to contact me from time to time. He catches me out now and again but mostly I ignore the phone if I recognise the number. They're quite sad really, aren't they?! Anyway, IWALH, you've done brilliantly. Much better than me as I still thought about MM on his bd far too much. Still, I hope to be where you are in the not too distant future. Thanks for your support x Haha, they are pretty sad. It must be a great ego boost for them though, ya know? I'm probably not that far ahead of you when it comes to how I am coping with the whole thing. I still have my days, that's for sure. And when I do, I come here. It is less and less... but I still get really angry or sad or both some days. Most days I am apathetic about it all.... but some days... well, some days are bad. Tonight I kind of had a bad night (a mutual friend mentioned him and said he seemed to be doing pretty good. It's not that I am upset about him doing good, I have been praying for him and his wife and their marriage and happiness on a nightly basis... but just hearing about him in general... that kind of stung for some reason). But I just blared some Fiona Apple and I felt okay again. There is this song I absolutely LOVE and COMPLETELY relate to by her.... it's called "Window." Wonderful song, wonderful message. Eh... I don't know.... like I said... bad night. It will pass, though. These nights always pass and occur less and less as time goes on. I am over him the most I have ever been now probably because this is the longest I have gone without absolutely any contact. Another few months of this and I am sure I will be (almost) as good as new. Here's some advice, though: keep yourself as busy as possible. This has been the KEY to my recovery (aside from no contact, which is a given). I am taking a FULL load of classes and have been working hard in them (straight A's at midterm!) which keeps my mind off of him for the most part. It's nights like tonight when I get stuck on homework or something that my mind starts to wander. Or if I am driving and I hear a song that reminds me of him (which doesn't occur as often anymore because I have been listening to mostly Christian talk radio/music... but it does on occasion). Travel as much as possible and connect with nature!! I recently went to the Grand Canyon which was AMAZING!!!! Alright, I am just rambling and I have to finish my homework and get in bed!!! Good luck!!! I'm here if you need me!!!
Author PoshPrincess Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Thanks, IWALH. It's hard to keep my mind off him sometimes when I am at home and my child is in bed. That's when I have time on my hands to think although it has got a lot easier and at least I can concentrate on books and tv now without thinking so much about him! I've never heard of Fiona Apple but must check out that song! Glad you are bearing up ok. Keep up the good work! x
GreenEyedLady Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Hi there PP! Just wanted to chime in my support!
singleagain27 Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 It is my ex b/f's birthday today and i didn't have his new number until someone gave it to me and i sent him a fri**in text earlier... i can't wait to be in ur position Posh Princess. I really can't! dont know what i was hoping to achieve by texting him
Author PoshPrincess Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 Single, we're in the same boat as you may have seen from a later thread of mine that I ended up caving in (although not on his bd). I feel ashamed everytime but can't seem to stop myself. Even today I have remembered that it is his son's birthday and because of that I have him on my mind - not that he's ever not in my mind but honestly, you will get to the stage where you think about him less! Keep your chin up! x
nadiaj2727 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 just a year more of an age difference than yours lol. I think I was his mid-life crisis although he refuses to admit it. Just writing that makes me feel used and crappy. But I really don't think he thought of me that way. I knew from the beginning I gave him an ego boost but at the time I was HAPPY to do it... I loved making him feel good about himself (and he made me feel good about myself) Anyway, more importantly, congratulations OP on passing this milestone with NC!!
GreenEyedLady Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 This is just a warning guys: If you're still in a R with your MM, be careful about the info that you put out there...Like his age and yours, birthdays, his profession etc...Just a warning you so you'll be safe... GEL
Recommended Posts