ohmy3 Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 posting here to...............He lies to me and hides stuff and I am so sick of it, Only seems to be a partner when it works best for him. I feel stuck after 2 kids now going on 12 yrs of marriage and feeling like I am wasting my life/love and time w/ him, I just am finally able to go back to school after being self employed and stay home mom all these yrs. (I worked outside home) 1st few yrs. and it didn't pay enough, I have always adjusted my LIFE to be the main person to parent and found i lost myself somewhere and now that there getting a bit older, I placed my slef in night classes so when they are rasied I have done some of the things i wanted to w/ my life for ME. I find myself seeing alot of things about my husband that i have for yrs. and just tried to over look and feel so feed up however still in love w/him but want more out of life and marriage for US and not getting the same in return w/ me not having any degree yet (which is far off) w/ a home + 2 kids and horses, I FEEL STUCK. OH yes he's WELL aware of everything i feel i am very open w/him and he make a effort for a few days or so then right back to normal, no $ FOR MC or INS dont cover , we;ve been ready to lose our house for almost a yr. now (just stay ahead enough to NOT) I just keep feeling like i just want to walk away........... Sorry for typos it is 3 am i can't sleep
JackJack Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Not all counselors cost money. Do a search in your area for free counseling services. What do YOU want to do? You can NOT change him, or worry about him, but you can change how you react to things going on in your life. I'm sure you're tired and frustrated of it all, but as soon as you learn that you need to do what is best for you the better off you might be.
EnigmasMuse Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 What does he lie about? What is it that he hides?
Cobra_X30 Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 How much of your anger and resentment boils down to $$$?
Author ohmy3 Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 well when you know S not good on the $ department (close to foreclosure) or to have utilities shut off ever month and will not help out all you can w/ur pay check and want to be immature (like not show pay stub ) if I asked I am given the 5 th degree you don't trust me? when all I earn is always shared and all my things are there for him to see if he wanted to I have nothing to hide, I needed to see some stubs for taxes past yr. as I am self employed and of course I do my own books and taxes etc. and what I was finely able to bug him for a week about em' he brings me a couple (which he does) keep em' all they don't match up to amounts placed in bank he has this sense of ENTITLEMENT then gets pissed @ me whenever we get the warning letters or calls which makes no sense I 100% pay all I can w/ what he and I put in bank all mine 100% is placed in bank ,1/2 the time have to let things go that don't need paid right then to pay something that does so it's not shut off I mean the main things house payment, utilities. food the must pay. I feel like his mother and whenever I happen to come to find he had extra $ I mean good amount not normal he lies and deny and if I watched he spends it and have no account for any .................... but still know we have a shut off notice for 1 of the MUST pay and just let me deal w/it. yes$ is the issuein alot of ways however I always get us threw (by working more) to get the $ needed while he seems to think SELF ENTITLEMENT IS more important so i can't help but see where his priorities are HIM and the lies he tell to try cover up this shellfish behavior is OLD and of course the trust is lost from me. THINK ABOUT IT LETS SAY YOU HOARD $ OK NORMAL FOR SOME, BUT LIE ABOUT IT, CAN'TACCOUNT FOR IT WHEN IT IS GONE IN 2/3 DAYS AND YOU HAVE FORECLOSURE LETTER AND SHUTOFF NOTICES............. how is # 1 other than you?
EnigmasMuse Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 ABOUT IT LETS SAY YOU HOARD $ OK NORMAL FOR SOME, BUT LIE ABOUT IT, CAN'TACCOUNT FOR IT WHEN IT IS GONE IN 2/3 DAYS AND YOU HAVE FORECLOSURE LETTER AND SHUTOFF NOTICES............. how is # 1 other than you? You need to find out where his money is going then. Especially if he can't account for it. Its going somewhere.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 THINK ABOUT IT LETS SAY YOU HOARD $ OK NORMAL FOR SOME, BUT LIE ABOUT IT, CAN'TACCOUNT FOR IT WHEN IT IS GONE IN 2/3 DAYS AND YOU HAVE FORECLOSURE LETTER AND SHUTOFF NOTICES............. how is # 1 other than you? Sorry, I wasnt suggesting that you are some $$$ hungry gold digger. I read your post and you said forclosure was a constant threat... so I know he doesnt have much to be digging for anyway. Shoot, you'd be more like panning for copper. But upon further explanation... he is just a selfish A**, I commend you for sticking with him thus far! Were I in your shoes, I'd have a D lawyer on speed dial really soon!
Faith4u Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 I think that you should sit down and ask him where the money is going? I don't know how old your kids are but not matter their age I think it will be way better for you to break free from that man. That is only if he keeps information like that away from you. You are feeling sort of stuck because you gave too much of your life and time and you sacrified to get to were you are and you think you can save te relationship by keep feeding whatever you can to save it. You have the right to feel frustrated and show that you are. Everything you both have you will share if yuo divorce... but what if he is hiding money that you are not seeing? You can not claim it at that point. If you feel he does not want to co-operate and be truthful, find a way of searching in his stuff, like a detective! What can I say? It is important that you find what is going on but at the same time, do you want to continue living with this person that seem very self centered? You only know how far you want to go with this...!
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