DotMasta Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Hello, I have a rather unusual situation coming up and i hope you guys & gals can give me some advice to come through unscathed. My ex broke up with me in mid-july and i thought it was the perfect time to end it cleanly anyways since it was 2 years to the very day. Since then I've been going out with a few girls and was invited to a Paul Van Dyk concert which is this Sunday 14th. Got the tickets in August. My ex's birthday happens to be on the following Monday 15th. Today i received the following text from my ex early in the morning: "I can and will prevent u from gettin on my nerves on my birthday bash, a generous present from Matthias who happened to become quite a dj over the years. But my party isn't yours dear and your newly discovered taste for my old friend's music will have to be satisfied another time. The tickets for the masses sold out very quickly so u won't have a prob to resell yours either, which i'd definitely recommend. I'm with the dj, it's my crowd, my b-day party and I don't want u around. And trust me, you don't really wanna be there either:)" So i simply replied: "I was invited to PVD in August, so no i'm not going to sell my ticket. Grow up and ignore me. Hope you have a great birthday." And her reply is: "No, you won't go and if u do, u won't be stayin. I was invited by Matthias himself and I certainly won't have u around that b-day. You better sell ur tic as I'll have u removed from the scene once i spot you. Matti is PVD dear, and he'll make that happen if i wish. Security always finds a reason, trust me. Grow up and accept that ur not invited this time." The way i know security guards is that they will kick someone out if the dj asks or if they feel like it basically. However this is a paid concert and i doubt it'll be so easy for my ex to have me removed on her whim. What do you think? I just want to go and have fun on sunday, not have to deal with all this crap. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Oh btw, my ex is 33 turning 34 and i'm 22 - not exactly mature behaviour.... Regards, DotMasta
carolinaboy Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 It's a concert. I doubt Paul Van Dyk is playing just for her. I doubt Matthias has that power (unless he's a manager, second headliner). Not if he's just on the bill. I'm a show promoter and I dont think your ex's wishes will be catered to like she thinks. Paul Van Dyk usually plays huge venues, what makes your ex think she's gonna see you? My ex broke up with me in July and I figured it would be a good time to make a clean break too, then she started sleeping with our roommate. Always some ex drama. Just go. Dont respond to her texts.
PrincessBOT Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 It's a concert. I doubt Paul Van Dyk is playing just for her. I doubt Matthias has that power (unless he's a manager, second headliner). Not if he's just on the bill. I'm a show promoter and I dont think your ex's wishes will be catered to like she thinks. Paul Van Dyk usually plays huge venues, what makes your ex think she's gonna see you? My ex broke up with me in July and I figured it would be a good time to make a clean break too, then she started sleeping with our roommate. Always some ex drama. Just go. Dont respond to her texts. Take the phone and if necesarry show the text if. Where does she get the nerve? Looking a little deeper, she is power tripping and treating you like a child. It is obvious that since she broke up with you, she shouldn't even be considering where you will be. This not the only public place you two may meet up , what will she do then. Your presence should not ruin her birthday. I would go to the concert (with the phone and texts) and have a blast, make sure you look awesome and ignore the h**l out of her. Whatever happens, keep a smile on your face. If she tries something you can blow steam off later, but for the day keep a smile, even if you need to explain the situation, which any reasonable person will see as ridiculous, especially if you are no where in her vacinity.
Author DotMasta Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 Awesome advice carolinaboy and PrincessBOT - you've really helped me out here. I shouldn't have even replied to her first text - i think she's trying the power game because she did not get her way with me. I saw a very scary sight when she broke up with me - basically a psycho who expected me to grovel and beg to keep her. I would have none of it, once it's over, it's over. One shot is all you get, life goes on. There's no point trying to keep somebody who doesn't want to keep you. Since i was invited to PVD by a cute girl i think it should be easy to have a great time there. It's also good to hear straight from a show promoter that it's unlikely her wishes will be taken care of just because she knows the DJ. I doubt security would be too interested in kicking out a well behaved paying customer just because of a random woman's boo-boo. I do still wonder how my ex even found out i was going though... Anyways thank you both very much! Regards, DotMasta
scottydog Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 I agree with everyone here...just ignore her and go out there and have a good time. Security has to have a good reason to kick someone out and I doubt you're going to give them one. Keep us updated as I'm curious to hear about it.
mental_traveller Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Well it's pretty simple. Things should be ok, but if you want to go then be prepared for a bit of hassle. Take a cameraphone & friends so if anything happens, you get evidence. Personally I would go, and be 100% ready for anything. I would take great delight in being offered the chance to totally f*ck over my ex and anyone stupid enough to think they could try to mess me around. But not everyone enjoys confrontation. If you just want an easy time, then don't go.
birdie Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 yeah you should definitely go. your ex should be ashamed of herself behaving like that. I am in my 30s too and dated guys in their 20s and always managed to be the more mature one. she is pathetic.
freckles3131 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 She's stirring the pot. Possible reasons: Power Ego boost Control Make herself feel that she is still in control of you Take you down a notch Trying to show you that she is better than you Jealous you might be bringing a date Afraid you have moved on Etc..etc...None of which has to do with healthy, mature reasons... I say from now on don't text back the Queen of Dysfunction Junction. Ignore, Have fun and put her in the past....look ahead....
Author DotMasta Posted October 14, 2007 Author Posted October 14, 2007 Well there has been some progress, some negative, but more recently some more positive stuff. I didn't reply to her last communication btw. Yesterday (saturday evening) i received another text from her: "Phew, whining with the venue won't help, they can't do anything and were instructed to tell u off politely. Plus we have own security. You get the money back so why don't u take a nice girl for dinner and leave me alone wiht my crowd? U lil egomaniac, can't be bothered with key pick up's not to mention the struggle a backbone could cause, but plenty of pathetic stubborness, totally out of place in this situation. U think u can have ur way? Methinks u need a lesson in common sense lil hypocrite. Bring it on and have ur ass kicked, i'm there to enjoy the show if u don't respect my legitimate wish." I'm an egomaniac? That's rich. I don't quite understand most of it but it doesn't really matter. Again i didn't reply. Tonight's the concert and she sent another sms around 14:30: "I changed my mind, you may go kiddo. If u behave ur even allowed to stay. Enjoy" <sarcasm on>I "may" go, isn't that sweet? Oh thank the lord that i finally have her permission to go! <sarcasm off> The whole thing just makes me sad - it's taking my good memories of our relationship which was very affectionate & fun and draggin them through the dirt by showing me what a fundamentally bad person my ex is. Thanks for all your input on this topic - you've all provided some extremely valuable perspective for me. I'll let you know if any more drama pops up tonight. Regards, DotMasta
Author DotMasta Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 Well that's that over. Sunday's concert was great fun and i didn't even see my ex. I couldn't have asked for a better conclusion.
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