Sureshot Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Hey ladies, Im just wondering if you would care to share some personal experiences you have had when you first started dating a guy, what are some of the small (or big) things that guy did that really made you feel real warm and fuzzy inside, or really showed he cared, in other words, what are some of the cheezy things us guys do that really work? Appreciate the stories, thanks.
konfuzd Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 A cheese grater won my ex's way into my heart. I had this guy over to my place, was about the 3rd/4th date. At the time, I had just kicked out my roommate, who was my former best friend, so things were prtetty tense at home. I constantly had to open up the boxes she packed, and take out all the stuff of mine she was trying to steal. When my date came over, I was frantically searching for my cheese grater in my roomies boxes while she was out briefly. Before we could go out, I had to repack the boxes, and he helped me. We never found the cheese grater, but my roomie came in to see us going through the boxes, and a big fight insued. Was really immature looking back at it. So, the next time he and I went out, he showed up at my place with a shiny new cheese grater, and wrote a cheesy (excuse the pun) note about how this grater could never take the place of the original, but I could form all new memories with this one... I burst out laughing kind of became our running joke about not sweating the small stuff. The best things are those small things that apply specifically to a girl, or tell her you've paid attention to something going on in her life. Any guy can go to the store and pick out a bunch of flowers, but when you show up for a date with something original, that leaves an impression.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 When he remembers the little things you mention. My bf and I dated many years ago (and just got back together recently). He remembers little details and conversations...I was truly taken aback with this. I've never been one for cheesy gestures, etc...but if something is done with sincerity...well nothing beats that! My bf isn't a big dancer...he hates dancing and clubbing in general. But the guy got down on the dance floor this past summer b/c he knows how much I enjoy it.
riverbender Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I was going to say what Ocean Blue said. To me, nothing demonstrates care more than actually paying attention to, and considering or thinking about things I say and/or feel. Pay attention to her. Show interest in HER as a person with your words and actions. Sounds simple but most guys I've dated don't do it. It's all about what dating me gets them. And I'd also very much agree that fake is bad. I dated a guy once who went out of his way to do things to make me happy or show me how much he liked me. It was a turn off. I constantly had to be thanking or appreciating him. It was more about him than me. I felt like he was trying to force me to like him. Making me laugh is also a requirement, or at least being able to laugh. The last guy I dated would sometimes make jokes about himself. To me this demonstrated confidence. He also paid close attention to what I said, my likes, dislikes. I started to think he really liked me. (He didn't lol) Keep it real. Be you. If you trust me and feel comfortable enough with me to be the real you nothing can top that. Well, except maybe a Lamborghini. Or maybe a Viper. Black.
ahah2322 Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 my bf of 3 years stood out because he was (and still is) self-assured to put his foot down in situations when he felt that my behaviour was unacceptable. i find this confidence very lacking in other guys/suitors. in any case, what won me over was the fact that he constantly paid/pays close attention to me, sometimes right down to the little details. such subconscious and consistent sincerity makes me like i'm the luckiest girl in the universe. just to share: i still remember the time when my bf walked me to the station. i had to rush off to a pre-xmas celebration. the weather was deplorable and we had to huddle under a flimsy umbrella, our only form of shield against the relentless downpour. i wore a pair of jeans that was a tad long for me and naturally, the ends of the pant were sweeping the floor, soaking up rainwater with every stride. at that point of time, as we were hurrying to the station, i did not pay attention to the state of my jeans. unexpectedly, my bf passed me the umbrella, stooped down in front of me (half his body under the rain) and then proceeded to fold the ends of my jeans so it would not sweep the ground. i can still starkly remember him grumbling about me wearing jeans too long for me amongst others but i just stood still as if overcame by a sudden paralysis, speechless and so deeply in love with this man.
Trialbyfire Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 No cheese or sleaze please. There's no such thing as "winning" someone over. If the two of you mesh well by being yourselves, it's all good. Just appreciate each other for who and what you are inside, and it will happen.
quankanne Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 his blue eyes and soft Southern accent pulled me in … and his generous nature won me over. because the first BF I'd ever had (also older) was just awful about kvetching about spending money even though he had a horrible sense of economics. Like for my 21st birthday, he took me out to a fancy steakhouse to celebrate. Now, I'd been with him awhile and knew his tendency to complain, so I asked my sister what she recommended that was good, but not too pricey. And I ordered it. Because I was now of legal drinking age, my boyfriend insisted I order something from the bar. I really wasn't a drinker, but I though amaretto sours were all right, so I got one and he got beer. When the bill came, he bxtched and moaned about the expense of the damned drink that he insisted I order. Jackass. fast-forward a few years to my husband (well, before he was my husband, we'd just started dating). If we went out to eat, he didn't care if I ordered steak or an expensive salad or asked for dessert – he just wanted to know that I enjoyed it. I didn't have to ask permission like I did with my stingy ex. and I think that just exemplified his generous nature – whether it's buying stuff, sharing stuff or doing stuff, he's very considerate. And he really doesn't have to be.
kypepeo Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I had known my BF for a while and I had refused to be 'won over' by him. I didn't feel like I was ready. By the time it I realized that I was in love with him, it was too late. Unlike other guys, he really cares to know who I am inside. He pays attention and it's always about me. He treats me special and in turn, I return the favor. He's always complimenting me and tries to get me everything he thinks I deserve (and that's not always material stuff). That's what gets me...the fact that he's so dedicated to me and that he shows how much he cares in the everyday stuff that he does.
Star Gazer Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 So, the next time he and I went out, he showed up at my place with a shiny new cheese grater, and wrote a cheesy (excuse the pun) note about how this grater could never take the place of the original, but I could form all new memories with this one... I burst out laughing kind of became our running joke about not sweating the small stuff. The best things are those small things that apply specifically to a girl, or tell her you've paid attention to something going on in her life. Any guy can go to the store and pick out a bunch of flowers, but when you show up for a date with something original, that leaves an impression. My new guy is the type who would get me my own proverbial cheese grater! We only recently started dating, but on our last date he made me dinner at his place. It took me a while to realize it, but halfway through the night I recognized all of my favorite songs had been playing off his iPod/stereo. I made this quizzical face, and he told me that he had looked at my MySpace to see who my favorite artists were, and had created his own little "Star Gazer mix" so that I'd feel truly at home at his place. This showed me that he was really paying attention to ME, and not applying some cookie-cutter "get the girl" tricks.
allina Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 With my bf it wasn't a specific action it was how much I enjoyed talking to him and being with him. I really liked him as a person right away, I enjoyed talking to him and we always had (and still have) an amazing time together. He continues to win me over because he's a great man This morning he text me to say "Be careful driving, there is an umbrella in the coat closet, I love you" because the weather is awful, the rain is pouring and the roads are a disaster. It's a small, simple gesture but it put a smile on my face.
Star Gazer Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 This morning he text me to say "Be careful driving, there is an umbrella in the coat closet, I love you" because the weather is awful, the rain is pouring and the roads are a disaster. It's a small, simple gesture but it put a smile on my face. I LOVE stuff like that.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 My new guy is the type who would get me my own proverbial cheese grater! We only recently started dating, but on our last date he made me dinner at his place. It took me a while to realize it, but halfway through the night I recognized all of my favorite songs had been playing off his iPod/stereo. I made this quizzical face, and he told me that he had looked at my MySpace to see who my favorite artists were, and had created his own little "Star Gazer mix" so that I'd feel truly at home at his place. This showed me that he was really paying attention to ME, and not applying some cookie-cutter "get the girl" tricks. Holy friggin' swoon!
Ocean-Blue Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 With my bf it wasn't a specific action it was how much I enjoyed talking to him and being with him. I really liked him as a person right away, I enjoyed talking to him and we always had (and still have) an amazing time together. He continues to win me over because he's a great man This morning he text me to say "Be careful driving, there is an umbrella in the coat closet, I love you" because the weather is awful, the rain is pouring and the roads are a disaster. It's a small, simple gesture but it put a smile on my face. I miss my bf... How very sweet.
Mz. Pixie Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I agree, attention. Listening when I talked and then bringing points up later about something I'd said. Sweet text messages. Tucking me in at night.
shadowplay Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Good thread topic. *Being respectful when it came to physical stuff, like asking "is this ok?" "tell me if I'm overstepping my bounds." *Thinking of little details and being able to plan ahead like bringing food, wine and chairs when we went to see an outdoor show. *Making lots of eye contact when we were kissing. Running his hands through my hair. *Generally being considerate and protective...like gently holding me back when we were crossing a street and he thought it wasn't safe to cross. *Not walking ahead of me. I hate it when guys do that. *Taking things slow in general. Not forcing anything, calling me too much or coming on too strong. Not being flakey either. *Not dominating the conversation. Asking me questions and later recalling things I said. Like if I had a test I mentioned asking me how it went on our next date.
popey Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 affectionate. he would look in my eyes and smile, or bite his lip, or give a warm sigh. he would laugh at a silly joke or line of mine- and then reuse it making it "ours".
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