1491pgu Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I have a few questions at the end of the post I could use some advice on... I ran into my ex fiancee the other day outside of a store and it was the first time we had seen each other since she dumped me. She dumped me two months ago. She came over and gave me the ring back and said she would email me in 2 weeks so she could express her feelings since she couldn't do it in person. Of course I waited anxiously for the email or call and it arrived 3 weeks later. The email basically said the usual 'it's not you it's me' 'you're perfect but just not the one for me' ect. ... you've all heard all of that before i'm sure so you know the type of email I'm talking about. She did insist there was no other guy. She never lied to me in the past so I believe her. I took the email as kind of an immature way to end a 2 year relationship. She's 25 and I'm a little older. The email hurt of course. And seeing the words 'you're great but I'm just not the one for you' really hit home and down the spiral I went. She also added it would be best if did not contact each other since she knew she hurt me and it would be too hard for her and for me. We went from soulmates as she put it to nice knowin' ya stranger in the span of 2 years. Fair enough. I sucked it up and did not contact her except for one text which got no reply. I can take a hint so I dropped out. I figured I would never hear from her again. It sucked but what can I do. I spent the next month and half thinking about her constantly. I wonder if there really was another guy or if she just didn't want to put the effort into a mature relationship since I started to suspect she had some growing to do on a few levels. She never went through that phase where she dates a lot of guys. I was her first boyfriend and I met her at 22. That did strike me as odd but hey when you're in love you let that stuff slide by and hope it doesn't come back for you. Anyway, back to my question: I ran into her and she seemed really caught off guard and looked as if she saw a ghost (she is not one for confrontation). I said hi to her across the lot and she said hi back and we began small talk across the lot. I thought that was silly so I walked over to her. We didn't hug or anything and she kept her distance. She still looked rattled. I began to talk about light stuff and then said well it was good to see you since you kind of just disappeared. She said 'I sent you an email' and then I played stupid and said I didn't get it in a jesting way but I think she took me serious. Anyway, we had more small talk and then she said "I was thinking that when we would eventually run into each other it would be very awkward but this isn't as bad as I thought." So we talked more. I asked if she was seeing anyone and she chuckled and said no. And then she said I bet the girls in your master's class are happy." Implying I was dating a classmate I assume. And then I said 'no, i'm not seeing anyone and actually the girls in my class were kind of shocked we're not together since I always talked about how in love we were and they thought we were a good couple... ect.' So I fessed up and said I was single and then I said 'why don't you give me a call sometime?' and she said maybe or in a few weeks or something like that. I can't quite remember. And then I said "I don't want to be your fiancee and I don't even want to be your boyfriend..... I just want to know you again and that it was good to see her again and I complimented her on the new highlights in her hair and said they looked good and then I said I had to go and I turned and walked away. Normally I would look back at her and wave but I didnt. I just kept walking. So my 3 questions are 1. how did I do? And 2. when she said it wasn't awkward is that a good thing or is it just her being relieved from any guilt she had from dumping me? 3. And what do I do next? I do love this person and we did have a good year and half run. Plus we never fought and we are very compatible. We had a strong connection but since it was such a relief and easy when we saw each other this time does it mean we lost it? I await your opinions. Many thanks!
Recommended Posts