OWoman Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 I have definitely seen where the xMM comes back (I know of at least 2 cases where it was more than 10 yrs. later!) By some very weird coincidence, I had TWO xMMs messaging me today! One got straight down to the business of heavy flirting, so it was pretty clear what his intention was, but the other started by asking me something work-related and then moved into serious flirting once I'd made the mistake of responding. After I'd reminded them of the meaning of goodbye, I remembered this thread. Wanting to call the shots seems to be a big issue for some MM, doesn't it?
Author forbidden fruit Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 It has been about 6 weeks of NC and I have struggled through this everyday like a sickness. Somedays feeling better and others where I do not want to get out of bed. I miss him just for the sheer fact he had a way of making me laugh(also cry), butan all out belly aching laugh. I know it does not do me any good in my recovery and I WILL NOT BREAk NC, but i have to ask and i know wwiu is rolling her eyes right now- Does he miss me? Can he be so emotionally detached that he feels nothing? How could I have misjudged him so badly? It was always him saying how miserable he was in his marriage not me. I never discussed the details of my marriage with him.Where do I go wrong? I have to see him this week at kids party and I am not strong enough not to have a full blown anxiety attack. I love my H ,but I still care about him. I hate we are not talking, but I have no choice. See today is one of those bad days. Someone talk some sense in me!!!!!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 i have to ask and i know wwiu is rolling her eyes right now- Does he miss me? Can he be so emotionally detached that he feels nothing? How could I have misjudged him so badly? It was always him saying how miserable he was in his marriage not me. I never discussed the details of my marriage with him.Where do I go wrong? I'm sure he misses the parts of the affair that worked for him. He misses having you under his conditions. I'm sure he feels something - I don't think he would be human otherwise. What you are hoping is that he is feeling the same sorrow that you are. I don't think that he is. He is feeling more like a little kid whose toys were taken away, not like a grown man who has suffered an emotional loss. How did you misjudge him? The phrase "love is blind" is around for a reason. When you fall in love, you see what you want and are blind to the rest. Where did you go wrong? You put yourself in an emotionally vulnerable position which set the stage for falling in love with someone else. Falling in love is natural, and it does 'just happen'. However, the steps you take to get to that point are deliberate, and don't 'just happen'. You need to figure out how and why you took those steps, and that is what you will want to focus on in terms of getting your head and heart back together.
IWALH Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Nope. Mine did many times after the first time but not once this time. Count yourself lucky that he is sticking to NC. If there is any contact you can't truly get over them and he probably wouldn't be able to get over you. When there is NC then the other party pretty much becomes obsolete. And it's almost as if they don't exist and never did. All it ever really was for them to begin with anyway was a facade.
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