Sanslatete Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 It's a dilemma I struggle with daily. My head tells me to get on with things and try to make the best of a bad situation. If I play all my cards right, I could probably have a reasonably comfortable/successful life, granted with some ups and downs. But my heart keeps putting my mind into hyper-drive and dredges up all my memories of summer walks holding hands and all the late-night conversations where she laughed and I felt secure and warm inside, like this was 'meant to be' and would go on forever. I want to let go of the sadness and get to grips with my feelings again, but I also long to be back there, in her arms, being told I was lovely and having my face kissed all over like she used to. It's a merry-go-round of pseudo-pleasure and intense pain that's robbing me of my life. I don't for a second think that she's going through the same turmoil as she made all her decisions at my expense.
Krying Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Oh wow, that brings back some memories for me. The first time my ex and I kissed was after she peppered the side of my face with dozens of tender little kisses and pecks. I turned to her and said I so wanted to kiss her, but once I started I wouldn't be able to stop. Maybe my intensity scared her away eventually. I saw my ex today. I held it together for a period of time, but in the end had to leave a Thanksgiving party we were both at.. I was simply crushed to see her acting without a care in the world.
Author Sanslatete Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 Yes, it tears me apart to remember how it was then and think of how it is now.
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