Author Kerewin Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 Is3360: I don't plan on being rude, or cruel. But I DO plan on not being as available to him as I was before, because I'm keeping busy, not because I'm ducking him. You're right, if I feel he's bringing out the worst in me, I'll absolutely walk away. Shadowplay: Just wanted to make sure it was curiosity, and not meanness that was motivating you I appreciated riverbender sharing, and didn't want her to feel picked on because of it.
shadowplay Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Shadowplay: Just wanted to make sure it was curiosity, and not meanness that was motivating you I appreciated riverbender sharing, and didn't want her to feel picked on because of it. No, no...though I could see how it might come off that way.
ItIs Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Hate to say this, but he might be lying about the "great chemistry" (from his perspective. The advice about making yourself less available without being out-and-out rude looks sound. Best of luck w/ this one, and trust your instincts, above all.
Author Kerewin Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 ItIs: That be lying about the chemistry is the FIRST thing I considered, but since there's no way for me to know that, I have to operate under the assumption he's not.
jophil28 Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 Riverbender, Here's my theory. You never really wanted him to begin with. It wasn't about him, it was about winning him over to heal your bruised ego. You said you're stubborn, so you were determined to prove to yourself that you could have him. The technical term for women who function like this is "psychobytch". Men - read 'em,. bleep 'em, and ditch 'em before you get brain damage.
jophil28 Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 I didn't read the whole thread ... If I were in your shoes I would have 'flushed' this arrogant jerk. BUT if you want an advice on 'games' ... I say... don't make yourself available as much... If he calls, don't pick up the phone, next time he asks you where you were, you can say you were out with 'a friend'... Be independant, he'll be at your feet... it works most of the time.. More likely that some other woman will be at HIS feet .
Author Kerewin Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 Gawd, I feel very, very un-smart right now. Last night, I looked through a few of our old emails (not obsessively hoarding his in particular, I just tend to be very lazy about cleaning out my email box in general). Anyway, I realized that after he told me he was going through a pretty horrendous health scare, I made myself ridiculously available to him. All the things you're not supposed to do---last minute dates, always around for a long phone chat, tolerating rudeness or crankiness "because he has so much on his mind, I don't want to add to his burdens". I never even noticed that HIS way of dealing with things was to simply keep living his life as he always had--since doing things differently wouldn't change his health, he just kept on living. I thought he'd appreciate my being there for him--after all, a woman would-- but he responded in typical dating fashion (i.e. who wants something that's so easily had?). I'll never make that mistake again!
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