Phateless Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Yeah yeah, god bless the information age. -met girl on dating site -talked online a bit -she cancels site and volunteers her number -we talk every day for 6 weeks (1-2 hours at least) -starts telling me she's falling for me, etc... -we make plans to meet, she says she's on her way, never shows. zero communication since then. -wtf?! here's the best part... i have pretty decent game, i know lots of girls, i have plenty of other options, including a fwb who i've been neglecting recently. i usually get over girls pretty quick, but this one... i'm stuck. i finally opened back up, only to get ****ed again. i feel like i'm going through a breakup! after all of the things we said to each other... i just can't believe she would do this...
Poboy Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 ouch, that sucks. well , she chickened out for some reason. if she hasn't contacted you since then , i don't know what more you can do except move on. will take time to get over her as you made a good emotional connection with her. get on with your life , date other women ( not the online ones for now ).
curiousnycgirl Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Indeed that sucks. Happens to everyone who tries online dating sites. Trust me she wasn't all that. I encourage folks to meet r/t as quicky as possible, otherwise we build up expectations of that other person that they just can't possibly meet. I am so sorry this happened to you, but remember you didn't really know her - so don't let her get you down. Next time try to meet up a lot sooner. Good luck.
Grace112 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I'm sorry that this happened to you. As painful as it is because you did have a real connection on your side, you might never really know what was going on with her. People can say some amazing things and can disappear on you. Sometimes words are just words to people - as much as that hurts. Good luck!
Author Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 Thanks you guys for all the replies. Yeah that's what I'm trying to tell myself. It's just tough after all those things she said. I've gone through this kind of thing before when I was younger and so I thought I was making sure it was different this time. Guess you really can't tell. This all happened on Friday night, and yesterday morning I sent her an email just asking if she was ok (making sure she didn't get in a wreck or something) and haven't heard anything back yet. I wrote this big long email where I said exactly what I felt, but didn't send that one. Seems too insecure and needy. Oh well, onward and upward I guess. Anybody have a similar story to share?
curiousnycgirl Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 In all fairness, if she's been in an accident she may not have been able to get back to you yet. JK I totally agree a long drawn out note serves no purposes. You've dropped her a note that leaves the door open a crack - and then ONLY in the event there is a REALLY good reason she didn't show. You've taken the high road, be very proud of yourself - men like you are very rare. So please do move on - cuz there is someone out there who will be great!
Author Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 Thanks, I hope so. I just thought it was her... been single a year since my ex (5 years long) and this is the first one I've really opened up to, the first one I actually saw some potential with. And believe me, there have been other girls, lol
Road Rage Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 It seems the only kind of emails or contact you can do right now is to make sure she wasn`t in an accident or is in the county jail. That is unless she had to flee the country. Give it the benefit of the doubt for now.
Author Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 Yeah, I'm not optimistic. It was crazy how well we could read each other, so I know that I'll never hear from her again. I'm sure of it.
Road Rage Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I hope she didn`t get her directions confused and end up meeting the wrong guy. Must have worked out if she did though, otherwise you would have heard from her. OK, just joking here:laugh::laugh: Sorry you are going through this. It is always bad to get your hopes up and then it falls through. But that happens quite a bit in the wild and wacky world of romance.
hot123 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Yeah yeah, god bless the information age. -met girl on dating site -talked online a bit -she cancels site and volunteers her number -we talk every day for 6 weeks (1-2 hours at least) -starts telling me she's falling for me, etc... -we make plans to meet, she says she's on her way, never shows. zero communication since then. -wtf?! here's the best part... i have pretty decent game, i know lots of girls, i have plenty of other options, including a fwb who i've been neglecting recently. i usually get over girls pretty quick, but this one... i'm stuck. i finally opened back up, only to get ****ed again. i feel like i'm going through a breakup! after all of the things we said to each other... i just can't believe she would do this...maybe shes an ugly cow and didnt want to meet you in person...lol
Road Rage Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Phateless Hot123 has a point. Did you see a pic of her yet? If so maybe it was phony. She may not want to have to come clean with it. You didn`t fall for the photo, did you?
marley_86 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Oh well, onward and upward I guess. Anybody have a similar story to share? Yeah i met a guy on ll, and we met twice, a week later we talk on msn and right when i said "yeah city is a big place" he went offline, and i never heard from him again. Before i wrote, he said "we'll if it rains, we can do something else."
Author Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 Phateless Hot123 has a point. Did you see a pic of her yet? If so maybe it was phony. She may not want to have to come clean with it. You didn`t fall for the photo, did you? lol well the photo is part of the whole package. yeah we exchanged plenty of photos, and there were no holes in her story, so i'm pretty sure it was really her. besides, she was way too confident/cocky to be someone who's ashamed of their appearance. i really don't know what to think... i honestly think she just plain chickened out and was too embarrassed to tell me. or maybe she mapquested it and said "3 hour drive? ahhh phuggit..." i would much rather she came down and met me and rejected me in person tho, so at least i wouldn't wonder if it would have worked out. on the plus side, a girl I made out with 6 weeks ago started texting me again today and we've been going back and forth all day. but that was just for fun...
hot123 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 lol well the photo is part of the whole package. yeah we exchanged plenty of photos, and there were no holes in her story, so i'm pretty sure it was really her. besides, she was way too confident/cocky to be someone who's ashamed of their appearance. i really don't know what to think... i honestly think she just plain chickened out and was too embarrassed to tell me. or maybe she mapquested it and said "3 hour drive? ahhh phuggit..." i would much rather she came down and met me and rejected me in person tho, so at least i wouldn't wonder if it would have worked out. on the plus side, a girl I made out with 6 weeks ago started texting me again today and we've been going back and forth all day. but that was just for fun...Just curious,how old are you sweetie?
Author Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 I'm 27 in december, I thought it was supposed to say in the profile thingie. Yeah I definitely feel like I'm too old to have been caught in that trap again, that has happened to me before when I was a few years younger. I thought I could tell the difference this time. Apparently not...
Author Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 btw, I dreamed about her all night last. I've been feeling better, but I spent all night dreaming that she emailed me back and we started talking again. This sucks.
Author Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 I still want to call her. Dammit... I feel pathetic. I'm doing down town tonight with my buddies, I'll probably get drunk as a skunk... I know a couple people I can call other than her, at least...
Art_Critic Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 It isn't about getting over her.. You didn't know her or have a relationship with her so there isn't anything to get over pertaining to her.. It is about the fact you are having trouble accepting rejection from someone that you had built a false fantasy in your head about.. Rejection is tough.. but as an adult you have no choice but to accept it or look like an idiot.. Try and remember that you didn't know her so therefore it isn't her that you crave and it isn't her that can fix your feelings.. You crave acceptance.. Start putting yourself back out there and start to raise your self esteem.. Good Luck
Author Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 You make valid points, but when you talk to someone that much, you do know them. And I didn't build this fantasy myself... she told me all of these things... If none of it was ever true than she manipulated me for some reason which I can't fathom.
Art_Critic Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 You make valid points, but when you talk to someone that much, you do know them. And I didn't build this fantasy myself... she told me all of these things... If none of it was ever true than she manipulated me for some reason which I can't fathom. It takes more than 96 hours of talking to get to know someone.. 96 hours.. that is only 8 days.. You can spend 250,000 hours with someone and still never know them, let alone just a few days.. You didn't know her.. As much as you think you did the reality is you did not.. I do believe she had the intention of meeting you but she didn't..That's life with online dating.. Learn from this.. don't spend 6 weeks of talking on the phone before you meet someone.. When I dated online I would only communicate for 1 week max before a meeting.. anything after that I stopped talking to them and considered them serial professional daters using online dating for other things other than to meet someone to date.. Maybe that is what she was.. a serial professional dater...
Author Phateless Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 Maybe... but we spent A LOT of hours, and I'm pretty sure we were over that 96 mark. I told her in the beginning there was no point in talking at all if you never plan on meeting, and she agreed. Guess I thought I was off the hook with that one... I think she just chickened and feels too awkward about it to talk to me now. Oh well...
CaliGuy Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 maybe shes an ugly cow and didnt want to meet you in person...lol Or married... etc, etc, etc.
Road Rage Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Phateless The mistake was taking all that time talking and not meeting. Not that I am into the online thing. I did do that stuff before the internet, you would just talk on the phone and then plan to get together. It is all about getting together. So live and learn. You are not really getting anywhere until you get together. Yeah, I know, there is always one out there who will say they talked for thirty years:laugh: before getting together and they were a perfect match. But some people have claimed to have seen Big Foot too. Even got some pictures.
Author Phateless Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 That was my original idea. I wanted to meet her asap in case it didn't work out, that way you don't waste time. But we were both busy and then I was sick and so on...
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